The Red Dragon being inserted into my Port
Ginger and I
I literally just walked in the door from my 2nd chemo treatment and thought I better write before I get sick. Yesterday was an aweful day, I threw up all day long, I think my nerves were getting the best of me. Knowing what I was facing today makes me anxious and even the best meds were not helping me yesterday. Plus I have all these pictures I want to post about my wonderful Thanksgiving, however I think I will post this one first then the Thanksgiving one later when I feel better. My appointment was at 10:10 am, we checked in to see the PA Margot Henderson and she did not get into the room until about an hour later, Tamy and I didn't mind we were laughing and carrying on like little girls. When she did come in she said all my labs looked really good after the 1st treatment, I'm happy about that. When she told me I should not be flossing my teeth anymore, I was not happy, I told her I would take my chances. If you know me well you know I carry floss in my purse I have it in the kitchen, next to my bed, I floss my teeth all the time at least after each meal, I told her I would try to knock it down to once a day. She told me some other things I should not be doing, but I am not going to blog them, too many of you will be looking out for them ha ha. I can't give up everything, I'm like an addict, cold turkey will not work for me, baby steps, baby steps....
Margot also told me I was supposed to bring the Emend meds with me to every chemo appointment, I told her on the script it said only to the 1st chemo appointment, she looked it up and sure enough that is what it said, but it was a mistake, she said you have to have that medicine to do chemo or you will get really sick....at this point I'm thinking "how much more sick can I get?" So today she wrote me scripts for 8 meds one being the Emend. My chemo treatment starts at 12:30 but by the time we got out of Margot is was 12:15 and I needed to go to the Mayo Pharmacy. Mayo Pharmacy said that my insurance would not approve it so it would cost $400 (for 3 pills), I said "uh I just had this filled 2 weeks ago and it was only $50" they said
"your insurance is not showing you ever had Emend" I called Walgreens sure enough they had it and said they would have it ready for a refill in one hour. This was a nightmare....I will never use Mayo Pharmay again, this is the 2nd time we have had a problem with them....love Mayo.....don't love their Pharmacy.
Now I am off to get the red dragon poured into my veins. Today my nurse is Ginger, so sweet and she appreciated our humor, I tried so hard today to think of Blake and his mission and all the blessings I have in my life, it helped for the 1st hour, then I got worn down, today the red dragon hit my organs hard and it was cold. I imagined again my heros, Blake, Eric, Brian and Jeremy going in fully loaded and ready to fight. During chemo it's difficult for me to concentrate, my mind is wondering all over the place, I turned on the TV to distract me, no luck today I guess I am going to feel every drip going into my body, but I know my boys are fighting for me, it's a long hard battle and they are with me every step of the way.
During the drip, I get a text from my Sister Sonya, "I Love You, I'm here for you"
My sisters are incredible and I love them so much, the support I get from them comes from the heart, and is sincere in everyway. I get a call from Eric, and Haleigh "I love you" from Kayla a text "I Love You" I need them to know that is the best distraction EVER and "I LOVE YOU TOO" I often think about my family and all they are going through, it is hard on them and I feel so bad, I say "I'm sorry" to Eric all the time and know that his love is also sincere and unconditional. On the way home, my hair is falling out all over the place, I say sorry to Tamy for getting it in the car, she says "I want it in my car" ok seriously? Who says that? Tamy Scheurn says stuff like that, she loves me and has been a great strength to me through all of this, especially when my family cannot always physically be there for appointments. I love Tamy and know that we have stayed friends over the years for a reason, now is the time we lean on eachother unconditionally showing compassion, building eachother up when its needed.
Tonight I am getting Chicken Noodle Soup delivered from Cheri Toolson, she claims its the best ever for chemo patients, I don't know Cindy Packard made me some chicken noodle soup last week that I would die for. I am so lucky to have such great women in my life and I do not take one minute of life for granted, I am grateful everyday for the new and old friends I have in my life, and know my life is forever changed, no looking back, I tell my kids all the time "it's not about where you have been but about where you are going" for me It is going to be about where I have been and what I learned from it.
Keeping the future at bay
2 hours ago