to BaHa or not to BaHa

Today I had an Audi Consult for a Bone Anchored Hearing device called the Cochlear Baha3, at the Mayo Clinic.  If you're like me, you should be saying "huh?"   Basically what the Baha  does is reroutes and transfers the sound directly to my left hearing ear.  This makes it possible for me to perceive sounds from both sides, and from what I understand it is extremely effected for people with SSD (single-sided deafness)  The device does not give me any hearing recovery in the right ear, it merely channels the sound from my deaf ear to my hearing hearing inner ear, leaving my hearing ear undisturbed.  It is implanted into the bone behind my right ear, it  also offers a more natural pathway to hearing for people who cannot hear with hearing aids, and for children who might have middle or inner ear hearing problems.

When I was in elementary school I remember the teachers constantly telling my mother year after year, "she day dreams, and stares out the windows"  "Monya has a difficult time paying attention"  "Monya is delightful, however has a difficult time concentrating"  blah blah blah--- duh?  I was deaf in one ear, and had to sit on the back row of the classroom, because I was always taller than everyone else.  If I had this Baha Implant then, maybe I would of been a better student....let's just blame it on that for now.

Now I have a difficult decision to make, to Baha or not to Baha.  The doctor made it sound so easy, but I'm not sure I want to do this.  Today she put a simulator on my head so during our visit I was actually listening with a simulation of the Baha connected to the bone on my right ear, with a headband.  It was strange and unusual, I'm not sure if I could even explain it, and I do not have anything to compare it to.
I definitely do not want another surgery, and I really am not sure I want to hear.  I've gone 46 years without hearing in that ear and I think I do really well.  I've learned over the years to read lips really well.  I guess the question is, will this improve my quality of life? and am I willing to go through it?

Cochlear Baha without  Baha On

Implant with Baha on

a little FYI:

I have felt this un-easy feeling about one of my doctors, after much prayer and thinking I have decided to seek a 2nd opinion about my thyroid.  I always feel weird about changing doctors, mostly because I don't want to hurt feelings, but I'm ok with this and I know I need to since it is so heavy on my mind.

Brittle Bones

I find myself deep involved in wedding planning and have not been able to find time to blog like I usually do.  Blake will be married in 5 short weeks, the reception is taking place in our backyard, I decided this was a perfect time to start my wedding decorating business that I have been wanting to do for quite some time.  It has kept my mind off of my cancer and allowed me some joy.  Of course every mother and father want their children to have a beautiful reception, but I feel a little extra pressure as this will be our 1st reveal of some of the things we will be renting out to others and so we want it to be extra special.

I think most of the invitations are in the envelopes and should be mailed out tomorrow--there will be a few stragglers as we try to get addresses, but that is always expected.  In the midst of all this, I am struggling with the pain in my hip and lower back, I will be seeing Dr. Northfelt (my oncologist) on Monday at Mayo Clinic.  My mind keeps wondering to the worst, but I know the Lord is by my side and will guide me no matter what the prognosis is.  I'm sure more tests will have to be scheduled.

On Wednesday I was bouncing Recker on the trampoline with my shoes on (dumb idea) even with a simple bounce I heard my ankle crack and down I went immediately grabbing my foot and crying like a big baby from the pain--I was glad Kayla was there, Recker does not know how to respond to someone crying--another words he continued to run and play, just over and on top of bonbon, I think he thought I was playing a game. Eric was in the house being "TIM THE TOOL MAN" with the REAL tool man Howard Peterson, so I told Kayla not to bother them, but I truly cannot remember feeling that much pain.
Yesterday morning when I woke up my ankle was swollen up twice the size and hurt even more.  After Dr. appointments and X-Rays taken I was told the ankle was broken--so off to the orthopedic surgeon we went--however, he said it was difficult to see the exact seriousness of the fracture because it is too swollen, needless to say I get to wear that beautiful black boot for a couple of weeks until they can X-Ray or if needed MRI it again.  I am not one to sit around with my feet up eating bonbons and watching TV, so the next couple of days is going to hard--time to put on my big girl panties and buck it up.  Today I laid with my foot elevated most of the day, tonight I put on the boot and was able to put pressure on it enough to walk.

I just hope this is not the beginning of the broken bones that will come--after chemo I was diagnosed with osteoporosis caused from chemo I remember the dr. telling me no more running and hard impact sports and to be careful--I really need to start listening to the doctors advice, every time I think "I'm strong that won't happen to me"  guess what?  It DOES.  The truth is my bones are brittle enough to break even bouncing with my grandson on the trampoline. I'm 49 years old but today I feel 90.