Learn, Grow and Teach Others

It's 3:40 am, I have not been able to sleep tonight, my mind is wandering all over the place, not allowed to eat or drink anything until after my surgery today and actually that would be no big deal except that I don't have to be at Mayo Hospital for check in until 1"o"clock this afternoon. I'm not exactly sure what time my date with Dr. Kreymerman starts in the OR.... sure hope he doesn't stand me up again this time.... ha ha This migraine headache of mine is holding on like a a new puppy to it's mothers nip. Wholly Toledo, it won't go away, I;m sure the pain in my hips is still there but this past few days I have been taking so much migraine medicine it has helped it to subside a little....just a small blessing I like to call a Tender Mercy.

I receive emails constantly from women who are dealing with cancer and who have been searching the web for information and come across my blog or who have been given my blog as a suggestion from one of their friends. I always read them and respond, and have become quite close with a lot of these women, never physically met any of them but one, but still the same I love them all. This past week as I was journaling on the BLOG, probably complaining about something ha ha ha I also received and email from a woman who lives in another state (most of them do) she is going through her chemo treatments right now, and was asking me some questions about when I went through it, I answered her questions based on my experience and waited to hear back, a few days later I heard back and this is her story:

SINCE THIS TIME I HAVE FOUND OUT THIS STORY OF TRYSTAN WAS A LIE KEEP THIS IN MIND AS YOU READ ANYTHING FROM HERE ON ABOUT HER ON MY BLOG. WE WERE ABLE TO HAVE HER PUT IN JAIL WHEN WE FOUND OUT SHE WAS WANTED BY THE POLICE. THIS WAS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR ME, I'M TOO TRUSTING AND WAS VERY VULNERABLE--SHE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT--DON'T LET IT HAPPEN TO YOU-  TODAY IS SEPTEMBER 5TH 2015 AS I UPDATE THIS.

I was in a car accident 5 years ago and lost my two year old daughter, two weeks after that my husband commits suicide, meanwhile I'm in the hospital for 5 months and Walton Rehab for 6 and don't have a clue about anything until two months after the fact - anyway, I've been though A LOT - but what I'm trying to get at is I have PTSD and that with the anxiety is insane!
I live alone, but my brother and his wife and my 14 month old niece and nephew have been staying with me for about three months, they're both retired and are suppose to live in Utah, but it's so nice being able to have them here. I don't think I could do this by myself. My thoughts and prayers will be with you on Tuesday while you go through surgery, I am having chemo on Wednesday, my God Bless us both

I also ran into a friend who I have not spoked with for quite a long time last week, she asked me about my treatments and how I was doing and then told me that she reads my blog and enjoys it. How sweet, I am always amazed when I hear that people actually read what I have to say, because to me its really not that interesting, but maybe one day when My kids decide to read it they will enjoy it too....I can always dream right? Most children think that what the mom has to say, they've already heard it or they are boring...but when I'm dead and gone someday (in like 80 years) I hope they will learn from something I written.
Anyway....that was not what I wanted to say .... duh! Ok so as I spoke with this friend she told me about the struggles her family has been going through. One of her sons lefft on a mission in Dec 2008 (which means he will be home in 2 months) soon after he left one of her other sons was diagnosed with Lou Garricks disease (not sure of spelling) at the time he was a Mesa Police Officer with a wife and 4 children, since then he has had another child. The diagnosis came with the bad news that he would probably only live for 1-1/2 to 2 years. He is now confined to a wheelchair, and only speaks at a whisper. Tears came to my eyes as she talked about him blessing his newest child, she layed on his lap on a pillow on his wheelchair, and whispered the words of the blessing he desired for his child to have. The prayer for that family is that he will make it until December, what a sweet reunion it will be when her son returns from his earthly mission maybe just in time to see his older brother begin his eternal mission. I was amazed at her strength, and wondered how much strength I could have knowing one of my children was going to die, knowing as a mother you have mended scrapes and cuts, kissed away a boo boo, changed diapers, bathed, fed and hugged that child, taught them right from wrong, watched them struggle through the teen years, supported them on missions or other decisions they chose, college, marriage and grandchildren.....it goes on and on. I have said it before and I will say it again, "it's not how you start the race that really matters, it's how you finish it" we can do hard things, and my friend and her family are doing hard things right now, but the truth of the matter is LIFE CAN BE HARD, it's what you choose to do with the trial that will either break your spirit or make it stronger---Learn, Grow, and Teach Others May the Lord Bless and Watch over you and your family right now ♥
The Lesson for me this week as I ponder now about both of these stories, the Lord put these 2 women in my life this week for a reason, if my surgery would of not been cancelled on Tuesday I would of never read the 1st email for at least a week and I needed to hear that story, I needed to be reminded, life is hard and we all need those hard things in our lives to help us grow stronger, to help us be better people, what a teachable moment I had with both of these women, thank you so much.

Today as I deal with my anxiety before going on my date with Dr Kreymerman, I will take my own advice and say to myself
"you can do hard things" I am going into surgery clinging to a picture of my sweet grandson, with a prayer in heart "please Heavenly Father, help me be strong, so I can learn, grow and teach others