Weslie Williams is born

Blake and Chloe have patiently been waiting for this sweet spirit to come to our family.  Chloe is amazing.  She delivered with a midwife at Mercy Hospital.  One of the miracles in this birth is that Weslie came naturally just as Chloe wanted, even though she was 14 day's over her due date.  Her water broke, Blake gave her a blessing and off to the hospital they went.
Weslie was delivered on Chloe's birthday, February 18th, 2016.  She weighed in at 10 pounds 1 ounce and has already gained a few ounces.  Chloe is Peruvian with beautiful coloring and dark hair.  Wesley looks exactly like her mama.  I don't see any resemblance to the Williams family except through her chin area.  Blake is in Heavenly Love with Weslie.  I was able to video him changing his very first baby diaper; and Weslie is the first new born he has ever held.  As a mother to see this with my daughter's was extraordinary, it is a different exhilaration to watch my son.  I have always known he would be an incredible father, but had my doubts about how long it would take him to embrace the diaper changing thing.  I loved being in the room to watch and listen as Chloe explained exactly how to change a baby girl's diaper to Blake--Chloe is a naturally calm and quiet teacher, she boosted Blake's abilities and cheered him on to a successful first diaper change.  I am amazed at his attentiveness to the needs of both his daughter and wife.  There is no doubt in my mind Blake will be a phenomenal daddy, and Chloe a patient kind mommy.

What an overwhelming feeling to have our family grow and expand, hoping along the way we have created a legacy worthy of our beautiful grandchildren.  Today I feel so blessed, we now have four grandchildren with one more coming in June, I have so much to be thankful for.

Recker Get's His Tonsil Out

We've been busy since the last time I blogged, I'm trying to play catch up.  Recker needed to have his tonsils out.  He has severe sleep apnea and some other issues surrounding his Autism. The tonsillectomy will help with some of those issues.
I was so proud of him, he had a hard time being sedated but was a champ.  It broke my heart to see him in the hospital, he looked sad and in pain.  On the other hand ice cream, popsicles and sherbet were on his diet; he lost 8-10 pounds, I want that diet on my plan.  Kayla stayed at the hospital for the 2 nights he was admitted.

Just before going into surgery

He is darling I love you Recker

He was a perfectly content patient

Getting bored

Best buddies, best brothers Ezra and Recker

Rate your Pain

Ezra and Jeremy at the entrance of the
Children's Hospital

Recker is so ready to go home.

My love for this little guy runs deep-I hope I can be a light to him as his grandmother as he has been for me during some dark times.  I love Recker's sweet heart and kind personality.  He connects with us through our hearts-If I point to my chin and say "I love you" he will return with "I love you" not quite as clear, but we know what he is saying.  We are taking baby steps with this sweet boy. It's hard to believe he is now 6 year's old.

Happy 1st Birthday Phoenix

February 13th, 2016 Phoenix turned a year old.  Where does the time go? This past year has been such a blur.  Phoenix is darling, white hair just like his mom and dad had when they were his age.  He makes all the funny faces Kaitlyn used to make; he says mom, dad, papa, bon bon, coco, hi, bye bye, tree, dog,  he points and jabbers.  I'm not quite sure of his language but I'm pretty sure he is saying how crazy we all are.  I have always loved being a mother, I've always thought nothing in the world could ever compare to being a parent; how wrong I was.  Being a grandmother is exhilarating, my perspective is so different, these children can do no wrong.
Kaitlyn planned such a fun and cute birthday party.  Thanks to Mysti and Timmy Brown for allowing us to hold the party in their backyard.  Kaitlyn and Brian live 2 doors down and Mysti has been an incredible friend, neighbor and fill in mom for me as I've wandered this past year.  I will forever be grateful for friends like her.

Family Life

Kaitlyn graduated from Highland High in December (yes early) she is still going to walk with her class in May. Over the summer she went to Utah to take classes to become a CNA (certified nurses assistant) she wants to get a nursing degree, when she came home she found out that Arizona will not hire you as a CNA until you are 18 and she will not be 18 until March. In Utah they would hire her right out of school, so she is in Utah as I write this with her friends looking for jobs, she is going to live with Lindsey Barney and Kelsey Webster. I remember bringing her home from the hospital as an infant like it was yesterday, over the years she has been such a joy to us and we are going to miss her so much when she leaves. I hope she comes home and says she doesn't want to move.....Haleigh found out yesterday that Kaitlyn may move up permanently and she was upset, she said " NO...she cant move....she's my best friend who will I talk to?" I told her she knew this would happen eventually since she is the baby. I don't think she wants to be stuck here with mom and dad, I told her that it means we just get to spoil her more............still NOT HAPPY!!!! Life as I know it is changing and I am not ready for it.

I'm so sorry for your Loss

Today was a sad day for so many people who knew Dennis Barney. My daughter Kailtyn spent so much time at their house and really loved him. I feel so bad because I don't know what to say when this kind of thing happens. He passed away this morning. Kaitlyn was in Utah with his daughter and wife, getting Lindsey moved into her new apartment. When I called Kaitlyn to tell her she just fell apart on the phone, I didn't know how to comfort her. The six chicks Kaitlyn, Lindsey Barney, Kelsey Webster, Jaime Patterson, Ashley Scow and Emily Brinton were constantly at the Barney's house. These girls are best of friends they all lovedDennis Barney so much and talked about it many times. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of the plan of salvation. Dennis Barney is a man of righteousness and goodness, he is going to be waiting for his family in the Celestial Kingdom. I wish I knew how to comfort people when tragedy strikes but I don't and it seems that nothing you say is significant. These girls will be a good source of comfort to Lindsey

Happy New Year 2009

Are you kidding me right now?????? I can't believe 2008 is over and done. So much has happened to our family this year. In February Gary my dad died, then just 5 weeks later my birth father Colby died. Then we lost the best dad in the world on October 1st, Eric's dad Ray and the only father I have known for the past 22 years past away in the hospital with all of his family around him. He was one of the greatest men I know, the best father husband and grandfather. We are surely going to miss him. We love you dad

Keep It Clean

For all of you who like to stash things away and keep them forever....get rid of it all
Last week a flood in the basement of Erics dads house forced us to get rid of junk, it was not a pretty sight, a huge dumpster outside of his house of coarse all the locals (and he lives on Broadway/Stapley so you know who I am talking about) found their way into the garbage bin, our junk is their treasure????
On the other hand we found some amazing things down there, pictures from Dad in the Navy, Love Letters from him and Vi to eachother, missionary journals and so much more that I will soon be publishing in a Heritage Book for my kids.
So....moral of the story keep the important and get rid of the rest, or your kids will have to someday, and they will be cussing your name the whole time.

.

Takin Some Time To Myself

My very good friend Mysti Brown invited me to spend the weekend with her in Pinetop at the family cabin. I am so looking forward to this, it was nice this week to have the last Doctor appointment of the week done on Tuesday, and to look forward to some non CANCER time.
I am getting better at looking at all the beauty around me, I am usually sweating and swearing the Summer months away. I noticed the beautiful bright yellow flowers on the side of the road the other day and realized that even as darn hot as it is, those flowers need this heat to grow, also my trees in the backyard are green and full of leaves, they too need this heat to grow. I on the other hand I do not need this heat to grow ha ha, so I try to stay inside as much as possible.
Going to the cabin with Mysti is exactly what I need right now. I love the Brown family and they always have a way of making me laugh and forget that I have BC. The cool weather and beauty surrounding the pine trees is always a spiritual experience to me.
A friend of mine brought over this card I love it and wanted to share it

"Cancer is a villain
who doesn't play fair...
but it can't dim your spirit,
and it cannot silence PRAYER"

I am going to refer to the cancer for now on as the VILLAIN, because that is exactly what it is. I am ready to beat the crap out him (notice I refer to it as a him) strange to me, but I never thought of BC being a woman. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend and I am goint to try really hard to not talk or think about the VILLIAN inside of me.

2nd Round of Chemo

The Red Dragon being inserted into my Port


Ginger and I



I literally just walked in the door from my 2nd chemo treatment and thought I better write before I get sick. Yesterday was an aweful day, I threw up all day long, I think my nerves were getting the best of me. Knowing what I was facing today makes me anxious and even the best meds were not helping me yesterday. Plus I have all these pictures I want to post about my wonderful Thanksgiving, however I think I will post this one first then the Thanksgiving one later when I feel better. My appointment was at 10:10 am, we checked in to see the PA Margot Henderson and she did not get into the room until about an hour later, Tamy and I didn't mind we were laughing and carrying on like little girls. When she did come in she said all my labs looked really good after the 1st treatment, I'm happy about that. When she told me I should not be flossing my teeth anymore, I was not happy, I told her I would take my chances. If you know me well you know I carry floss in my purse I have it in the kitchen, next to my bed, I floss my teeth all the time at least after each meal, I told her I would try to knock it down to once a day. She told me some other things I should not be doing, but I am not going to blog them, too many of you will be looking out for them ha ha. I can't give up everything, I'm like an addict, cold turkey will not work for me, baby steps, baby steps....
Margot also told me I was supposed to bring the Emend meds with me to every chemo appointment, I told her on the script it said only to the 1st chemo appointment, she looked it up and sure enough that is what it said, but it was a mistake, she said you have to have that medicine to do chemo or you will get really sick....at this point I'm thinking "how much more sick can I get?" So today she wrote me scripts for 8 meds one being the Emend. My chemo treatment starts at 12:30 but by the time we got out of Margot is was 12:15 and I needed to go to the Mayo Pharmacy. Mayo Pharmacy said that my insurance would not approve it so it would cost $400 (for 3 pills), I said "uh I just had this filled 2 weeks ago and it was only $50" they said
"your insurance is not showing you ever had Emend" I called Walgreens sure enough they had it and said they would have it ready for a refill in one hour. This was a nightmare....I will never use Mayo Pharmay again, this is the 2nd time we have had a problem with them....love Mayo.....don't love their Pharmacy.
Now I am off to get the red dragon poured into my veins. Today my nurse is Ginger, so sweet and she appreciated our humor, I tried so hard today to think of Blake and his mission and all the blessings I have in my life, it helped for the 1st hour, then I got worn down, today the red dragon hit my organs hard and it was cold. I imagined again my heros, Blake, Eric, Brian and Jeremy going in fully loaded and ready to fight. During chemo it's difficult for me to concentrate, my mind is wondering all over the place, I turned on the TV to distract me, no luck today I guess I am going to feel every drip going into my body, but I know my boys are fighting for me, it's a long hard battle and they are with me every step of the way.
During the drip, I get a text from my Sister Sonya, "I Love You, I'm here for you"
My sisters are incredible and I love them so much, the support I get from them comes from the heart, and is sincere in everyway. I get a call from Eric, and Haleigh "I love you" from Kayla a text "I Love You" I need them to know that is the best distraction EVER and "I LOVE YOU TOO" I often think about my family and all they are going through, it is hard on them and I feel so bad, I say "I'm sorry" to Eric all the time and know that his love is also sincere and unconditional. On the way home, my hair is falling out all over the place, I say sorry to Tamy for getting it in the car, she says "I want it in my car" ok seriously? Who says that? Tamy Scheurn says stuff like that, she loves me and has been a great strength to me through all of this, especially when my family cannot always physically be there for appointments. I love Tamy and know that we have stayed friends over the years for a reason, now is the time we lean on eachother unconditionally showing compassion, building eachother up when its needed.
Tonight I am getting Chicken Noodle Soup delivered from Cheri Toolson, she claims its the best ever for chemo patients, I don't know Cindy Packard made me some chicken noodle soup last week that I would die for. I am so lucky to have such great women in my life and I do not take one minute of life for granted, I am grateful everyday for the new and old friends I have in my life, and know my life is forever changed, no looking back, I tell my kids all the time "it's not about where you have been but about where you are going" for me It is going to be about where I have been and what I learned from it.

Girls Trip to New York

After graduation my dear friend Jenny and I took our daughters to NYC...Kaitlyn and I had been there several times before but it was the 1st time for Jenny and Ashley. We had so much fun, I enjoyed every minute of the time I got to spend with Kaitlyn.

We laugh so much our sides hurt,,,,Love you Jenny

I love my sweet little girl

I love Jenny!!!!

we jumped on the beds at the hotel...like little girls on their first trip

the "SEAMEN" were walking all over NYC while we were there, they saw the girls and wanted to take pictures with them, it was fun but they had alot to drink that night I think...they were going out t0 sea the next morning for a few months

gotta love a man (boy) in uniform.

The statue of Liberty is always a must while in NYC

Shots at the park with Kaitlyn, I love her!!

we took pictures everywhere...Radio City Music Hall

anything can happen on the streets of NYC we saw this guy dancing with himself so Kaitlyn just joined him, it was so funny

A day in flip flops on the streets of NYC

Our photo shoot

Dyland Candy Bar (owned by Ralph Laurens daughter Dylan) funnest candy store ever!!!

we saw Mary Poppins on Broadway

jenny and i on the subway

kaitlyn and ashley in the park

kaitlyn and ashley in the "I love New York" t shirts