He Keeps Me Sane Right Now

NO-ONE loves me like Recker does, he is my little buddy when his mama is working.  Right now he is 15 months old, he runs, he eats everything we give him,  he snuggles, he loves Toy Story-especially BUZZ, Mickey Mouse and playing outside.
This little boy is the best distraction in my life right now, I never knew how much being a grandmother could effect my life, I am  much better at being BONBON then I was at being MOM.
My face lights up when he gets to the house, I love when he comes running to me and hugs me.  If a day happens when Kayla keeps him home for some reason, it makes me sad not to see him, but happy for Kayla that she gets to spend the time with him
Me + My Recker Boy= Big Smiles and lots of Love.

Bone Scan

Maryann called me on Friday to inform me that my bone scan is scheduled for Monday April 4th.  My blood work came back elevated, which is consistant with what they see in a patient who's cancer has metastisized and would explain the pain in my right hip bone.  They will schedule the rest of the scans once we get the results back from the bone scan.  Eric and I are trying to be positive, even if the cancer has metastisized we will deal with it then.  My ward is having a fast for myself, and 3 other people in our ward on Thursday night starting with the evening meal and ending on Friday with the evening meal, if anyone would like to join us.... the Lord listens and the Lord answers prayers..... right now I am praying for comfort and peace.

My Son The Missionary

This is the email Blake sent out to everyone this week,I sure miss my missionary, the growth that he has made is incredible, the Lord has truly blessed him for his obedience.

Blake Playing FHE game

Crossing the River

These shoes have walked miles, time for a new pair

Yonelevi Blake and Ruben

Arletti, District Presidents Wife her children
and Blake

well this week was pretty good we taught a grip of lessons and trying to 

teach the whole world here.  But we have been working really hard with Ruben (the guy that killed people) and hes been progressing and doing really well 
he's learning how to read, we are teaching him, that has gave me so much 
patience, but something happen last Wednesday we are getting home late from a 
family home evening with Estefany and at like 10 walking home some lady 
tells us that the GORDO (fat) that's our friend had a little accident and he 
almost killed the NEGRO (black, Haitian) friend of his.  So we called him 
and he told us that it was just a little problem so i asked well tell me the 
story and he told us that earlier in the day there was a problem where he 
lives and this Haitian got a bunch of stuff stolen then he had to pay to get 
it back (yea I know the people are corrupt) but the Haitian told his cousin, 
Yonelvi (our Haitian investigator,a friend of Ruben) that it was Ruben so 
when Yonelvi got home he was yelling pretty mad at Ruben and then Ruben said 
he doesn't know the story so cool down and shut up and then Yonelvi said to 
Ruben "Te voy mangar" its like a street term here that pretty much means I'm 
going to get you.....so Ruben instead of waiting to see if Yonelvi really 
was going to do something, he went home to get his machete and went at Yonelvi  

as if he was a tree, hit him in the arm (cuz he was blocking his face) then 
his stomach and then to "finish him" as they would say in Mortal Kombat, he  

took the machete right to his head and Yonelvi went out for the count and 
now has like a 8 inch split on his head (don't worry I'll sneak a picture) and 

now they are enemies and Ruben says that Yonelvi needs to apologize to him, 
haha I was laughing when I heard that so we talked about Repentance and 
Forgiveness and said he's not one to forgive or ask for forgiveness he says 
he'd reather die haha but we helped him and he was going to but Yonelvi didn't 
want to leave his house so yea that's that...But now Yonelvi is getting all 
his stuff ready, to do some witchcraft like a spell on Ruben, Yonelvi went 
to the capital and had been traveling to do this, and honestly I believe in 
this stuff after the last incident but we will see what happens I told 
Yonelvi if he does this and plays with the Devil that hes going to Hell and 
that God will never forgive him he got pretty pissed at me and got in my 
face like he was going to hit me and then I told him "hit me, and watch what 
happens" and he sat down and got kinda sad cuz he got in my face but we are 
really trying to help these two so that there is peace in this 
neighborhood.  That's our so far here's some pictures 
 
 con amor 
 elderBLAKEwilliams 

Do Something...

There is always  beautiful piano music at the Mayo Clinic

This woman was awesome, she was diagnosed with Breast
Cancer 13 years ago, the VILLAIN left her alone and now
He's back...however, she is positive and happy.

Look at this beautiful woman, stage 2 breast cancer

I instantly felt comfortable with this guy,  2nd time around
for his lymphoma, and so positive ♥

I know I've said this before and I want to say it again, I truly think people come into our lives for a reason. Some just for a season or two, some for longer, however, for me  these people are a huge part of who I am.  The influence they have on me whether good or bad, is important.  Women and men I have met at Mayo Clinic have become dear friends, they are people who have touched my heart and soul, people who understand, truly understand my fears and doubts about the future, some of them have passed on and left this world we live in,  the VILLAIN took their lives.  Everyone of these people left a lasting impression on me, they were positive and happy even knowing that their lives were coming to an end soon.  Every person who has ever walked up to me and asked to say a prayer for me, I love them.  I have recently had connections with women who I know are going to be life time friends. Many of you have asked me about my friend Trystan.  I am happy to say that she is out of the Mayo Hospital and although she is not fully recovered she is at her home in Hilton Head and enjoying the beautiful sunrise and sunset at her beach house.
Yesterday, I opened a fortune cookie and this is what it said:  "Do something unusual tomorrow for the benefit of others"  Since I knew I was going to be going to Mayo Clinic I decided to do something special for all the people who were on the 3rd floor, chemo lab today. I got 40 Easter Bags and filled them with grass, crackers and Easter candy Kaitlyn Haleigh Brownlee and My Haleigh all helped me fill them up and tie them-Thank You Girls

Kaitlyn, Me, Haleigh B and Haleigh Williams

 Anyone who knows me or reads my blog knows how I despise going to the 3rd floor, stepping off the elevator there is a  smell that is distinct and makes me sick to my stomach.  It's been a year now since I finished chemo at Mayo and still I cannot get used to that smell.
On my way to Mayo Clinic I was driving up Shea Blvd. almost to Mayo, I suddenly had a panic attack.  I've got to learn how to get my mind somewhere else before pulling into Mayo, this attack I could not take any medicine since I was driving, I could hardly breath.  I finally got it under control, I took the elevator to the Lower Level to have some lab work done.  As I waited I was reminded of the sickness that is in our world, so many of us, including me don't take enough time to reflect on our lives and the importance of loving every second we have with family and friends, or paying close attention to the needs of others.  I have so much to be grateful for. 
 My lab work is over, I'm walking through Mayo with this huge Anthropologie  bag full of treat bags, I see people looking and I'm sure wondering what I'm doing with all of those, one man asked I told him what I was doing, he said "bless your heart" I then handed him a bag and said "bless YOUR heart"

My bag of goodies

I had some time before my next appointment so I went to visit Chris and all the radiation specialists who helped me during radiation last year.  I have not seen them since my hair has grown, they didn't recognize me, it was so great to visit with them-some of my favorite people at Mayo are in radiation.

Chris, Me, Lindsay

One of my new friends diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian

Two more new friends, when I explained why I was there
tears filled the eyes of these wonderful people
He is the cancer patient, but I can't remember what
type or what stage.

When I stepped off the elevator onto the 3rd floor, I wish I could say I didn't smell chemo or sickness in the air..... I DID.....but for some reason, today it's OK, I'll deal with it without another attack.  I check in to get my PORT flushed, then with permission I walk to each and every chemo suite and introduce myself, tell them I am a survivor and that I finished chemo a year ago, as I hand each one of them a treat bag I can feel a sense of understanding and strength from every patient.  I was able to spend a few minutes at each suite and talk about the VILLAIN diagnosis, side effects, radiation, hair, and moving forward.  I love these people, they get it, they know what it's like to be diagnosed with a life threatening disease, from each and everyone of them I heard nothing but positive HOPE and FAITH.  The one who touched my heart the most was Mandy she is 29 years old from Colorado, diagnosed with Adrenal Cancer, extremely rare.  She was just married in September, her mother, sister and niece were all there supporting her, as we talked tears filled my eyes talking about the changes that have occurred in my life, in her life and in the lives of most everyone who is diagnosed with cancer, we are given a new perspective on LIFE, and LOVE is sweeter than it has ever been or will ever be because of the growth that is inevitable during the fight of your life.  This visit was therapeutic and emotional for me.

This is Mandy in the white tank top and her sister

When I finished in the chemo lab I felt good, it was a wonderful morning to talk to all of these amazing people ..... I love them ..... I really, really do

What I saw on my arm today as I left the Mayo... my watch,
my bandage from the blood tests, and the most important
My LIVE FREE bracelet that constantly reminds me
of where I've been and where I'm going

Me and Maryann

I went to check in for my visit with Maryann Forrett, (Dr. Northfelt's Nurse) I had the talk about my sore hip, insomnia, head aches and whatever else we needed to talk about.  She ordered an X-RAY of my hip. She said she will call me and let me know the results, until then..... be happy :)


(After I posted this, I got a call from Maryann, the results from my X-RAY came back and they found a spot on my hip, the word CANCER was mentioned, but until more tests are run they are not conclusive. She said the Doctor ordered a bone scan, brain scan, MRI and PET scan, I'm not sure when they will be, I have to wait for a scheduler to call me from Mayo, probably tomorrow.  Pray for me.)

What is good and Sweet in Life

Innocence at it's Best

I can't seem to shake off this congestion in my chest, the stuffy, runny nose, major head ache.... sounds like I should be doing a commercial huh?  
I'm lying on my bed watching my favorite little guy (recker) sleep, I had to put his name in there because I don't want people to think I'm laying here watching Eric sleep, that would be kinda creepy.  ha ha
Anyway, Recker looks so peaceful and innocent, he takes all my fears of life away, when I look at him I believe that no-one else matters.  Staring at him I cannot imagine any evil in the world, he is what is good and sweet in life.  I want him to stay like this forever.  It makes me think about Blake in the DR, he has only seen pictures of Recker, in just a few short months he will get to hold Recker, play with him and enjoy all that I am experiencing right now.  Finally my family will all be together again, this year the Holidays will certainly be different than the last couple of years... woo hoo
I will be going to the Mayo Clinic this week, checking in with my oncologist Dr. Northfelt, having tests run and hopefully getting a good report.  My hip is something new I need to talk to him about and I am not looking forward to that talk.  My right breast still continues to ache but I am going to wait and talk to Dr. Kreymerman about that I really think it is just some scar tissue giving me problems.

Coulda-Woulda-Shoulda

Eric talked me into going to the Coyotes Hockey game with him a couple weeks ago, one of his clients gave him the tickets and he and his wife were sitting next to us-Thank you Grant and Cathie for those seats, we had a great time.
I coulda said "no, I don't want to go" because I really don't know any of the rules of hockey I just like when they get in fights-yeah who woulda guessed that little ol me would like to watch men in hockey gear fighting to the ice?  There was not one fight tonight, the boys were on their best behavior.
We were so close to the ice, only a few rows up, awesome seats.  We were surrounded by Canadian Flames Fans- including Grant and his Wife.  Eric made a bet with Grant, if the Flames won then Eric would hang a Canadian Flag in his office at work, if the Coyotes win then Grant has to wear a Coyotes jersey (courtesy of Eric)  to the Coyotes vs. Flames game next week in Calgary-whoa Grant was not sure about that one-but he did agree to the bet.  
The night was entertaining, not because I loved watching the hockey game, I loved listening and watching the Canadian/Coyotes fan who was sitting right in front of me, downing beer like he had been left in the desert for weeks without anything to drink, he was seriously a bottomless pit.  He was so funny to listen to, he never once used curse words (unbelievable) he just cheered on the Coyotes, I asked him where he was from he said he was on vacation this week from Edmonton- just so you know he talks really, really loudly anything that came out of his mouth was funny and everyone within five or six rows up or down from him could hear him-all the Canadians surrounding us were not happy with him, cheering on the Coyotes. 
Watching him made me grateful I have never tried alcohol in my life. 
I shoulda gotten a better picture of Eric and I in our Coyotes Team Jersey's, a little story behind me wearing a jersey---- that is a NO ANSWER-- I was ready to go and Eric came down stairs with a Jersey for he and I to wear, he wanted to know if I wanted to wear the white or the black one-- This is how that convo went down:
Eric "hey babe, which color should we wear tonight?"
Me   "hey babe, I don't wear Jersey's, and especially when they are XXL, sorry but no thanks"
Eric  "come on, you have to wear it, everyone will have one on"
Me   "I'm ok with being different, thanks I still love you though"
Eric   "I'll give you $50"
Me    "seriously, there is no amount of money that is going to get me to wear that"
and off we went, but in the one and a half hours we were in the car to get to the game this is what happened
Eric  "hey babe, please wear the jersey I'll give you $100"
Me   "again, thanks for the offer but I'm good, why do you want me to wear it so badly?"
Eric  "well Grant and his wife will have on their FLAMES jersey's and I just wanted to show our support for the Coyotes"
Me    "I don't really care about the Coyotes, I am going so I can spend time with you"
now we are at the JOBING.COM arena, he gets out of the car and hands me the white Jersey to put on.
Eric  "hey babe, here is your jersey you will be so cute in it, and I'll give you $200"
Me    "give me the jersey"


and I wore it proudly..... now what to do with the money .......  

Spring Break Comes To An End :(

Haleigh, Me and Kaitlyn at our Favorite Guacamole Place
In Rocky Point--Ramones

This is our group, all great kids

Haleigh, Hales, Emily, Me and Kaitlyn

Decided to head home to the US of A today.  I have not been feeling well the last couple of days, and Haleigh has Easter Pageant Rehearsals.   I really am tired and want to sleep, but have a feeling its going to be one of those insomnia nights.  We really had such a great time in Mexico this year, however there is nothing better than getting home and seeing my sweet grandson, he looked huge to me, I missed him the most.

Wacky Fun Wednesday in Mexico

Anthony and Hales

Eric and I  Walking on Water

Haleigh and Haleigh

Today was another beautiful day in Rocky Point Mexico.  The weather is unbelievable.  Kaitlyn and Emily went home today, we are missing them already.  Eric came down tonight and will be with us until we go home.  

Taco Tuesday in Mexico

Today in Mexico we played volleyball on the beach, had a home run derby (Scott Petty Won) and laid in the sun soaking up some beautiful weather.

Not sure if you can tell what this is, however it is my
favorite breakfast.  Fresh fruit, Mango, Bananas, Apples,
Pears, Strawberries, Cantaloup and granola with yogurt

Hales and I 

Kaitlyn, Me and Brian out for Taco Tuesday

Tony, Me and Emily

Haleigh, Me and Hales

Overall, today was a fun day in Mexico !!!  Relaxing, perfect weather, and very good food

Mexico Monday

Today was truly a long day.  I had such a hard time sleeping last night, insomnia is kicking my rear end.  The hard part about being in Mexico and having insomnia is  I don't have Blakes room to retreat to, I get to stare at the ceiling fan going round and round, I seriously 
HARSHLY DISLIKE insomnia.  

Emily, Haleigh and Hales

Hales, Me and Katilyn

Me and Emily

Robbie, Parker and Brian

Haleigh & Hales

This morning we had breakfast, then went to the dirt mall .... shopping in a dirt mall is fun, not quite as fun as Anthropologie  or Nordstrom but when in Mexico it's where to go.  I just enjoy being with the girls, no matter what we are doing.