Sunday, July 4, 2010


Last year Eric and I were enjoying the 4th of July at our condo in Mexico, and although he and I have always enjoyed our time together I think I have taken it for granted. I knew that he and I would be together forever, so I think I never really enjoyed the little things, always expecting big things to be the attraction. I have come to understand and appreciate things like a husband who listens to his wife get sick but who still wants to kiss her, not for his own satisfaction but to show his pure love for her. Eric so many times during my sickness this past year has gone the extra mile to make sure I was comfortable, he never wanted me to be in pain or be embarrassed about how I looked, he has told me everyday how beautiful I am, I know when I look in the mirror he and I are not looking at the same person. Now here it is one year later, we are at the condo in Mexico and my perspective is so different. Everyday since we have been hear I have taken some time to myself to sit on the beach and reflect. Today I watched two little boys, they looked like brothers, laughing and dunking each other in the water, their laughter was contagious. I found myself completely engrossed in their childhood play. I don't think I would of taken the time to enjoy that moment a year ago. I watched a little fish who was obviously new at swimming, he was getting a little too close to the shore, as he worked so hard to get out into the ocean a huge wave would push him up a little closer to the beach and again and again he would work hard to get free. Finally after near exhaustion he made it and off he went into the deep blue ocean where he belongs. WOW, that reminded me so much of my journey this past year, every time I would get past one hurdle I felt like a huge wave was smashing me against a rock and more bad news would come, I feel like I am still swimming against the waves but not drowning. Finally I think I can breathe a little, moving forward is really hard knowing the VILLAIN can take over again, the only difference now is I'm forced to think about it, before I never thought VILLAIN would be in my vocabulary. Tonight I sit in my condo listening to the fireworks going off, totally happy and content watching my little grandson crawl around, listening to Kayla and Jeremy play a game at the kitchen table and knowing Eric and Haleigh are down at the beach enjoying the festivities. Right now at this moment I could not be more satisfied with my life for me this is what it is all about.


Angela Brian said...

keep enjoying the little thing.

this post is beautiful.

Angela Brian said...

in response to your comment on my blog.

bethel is not going to last too long. i hope.

two years max.

we are saving up to get into our first duplex by december.

since we have free rent in bethel we would live in alaska and rent both sides of our duplex, putting every dime we earn to paying it off.

once that is paid for we will then get our first house. and use the dulpex rent to pay our house mortgage. haha. now you know our game plan.

BUT with house prices as good as they are in arizona, for the same price we would be able to get into a great house. or even a four plex.

so lots to think about.

all we know is that bethel is lucrative and with the economy how it is in utah we had to go where the jobs where.

even if it means freezing to death! ugh. :)

love and miss you. so much.

enjoy mexico.

tamy scheurn said...

I is so amazing how it takes a storm to calm us! Like we were talking about if we can just be still and let the Lord fight for us, he will and we will be able to enjoy the small things that we have taken for granted! Love you precious girl!

Loretta Valenta said...

Monya, You do not know me but I found your blog some time ago by way of my friend Patty Cox who is in your ward. I have been reading along during your journey and I have smiled with you and cried with you.
My husband was diagnosed with base of tongue cancer in December of 2008and we have experienced many of the the things that you have blogged about, especially prespective. Everything changes when a cancer diagnosis comes...and maybe, just maybe, that isn't a bad thing.
Thank you for you for sharing your journey. I wish you well.

Marilyn said...

So true....!!!