Perspective

Last year Eric and I were enjoying the 4th of July at our condo in Mexico, and although he and I have always enjoyed our time together I think I have taken it for granted. I knew that he and I would be together forever, so I think I never really enjoyed the little things, always expecting big things to be the attraction. I have come to understand and appreciate things like a husband who listens to his wife get sick but who still wants to kiss her, not for his own satisfaction but to show his pure love for her. Eric so many times during my sickness this past year has gone the extra mile to make sure I was comfortable, he never wanted me to be in pain or be embarrassed about how I looked, he has told me everyday how beautiful I am, I know when I look in the mirror he and I are not looking at the same person. Now here it is one year later, we are at the condo in Mexico and my perspective is so different. Everyday since we have been hear I have taken some time to myself to sit on the beach and reflect. Today I watched two little boys, they looked like brothers, laughing and dunking each other in the water, their laughter was contagious. I found myself completely engrossed in their childhood play. I don't think I would of taken the time to enjoy that moment a year ago. I watched a little fish who was obviously new at swimming, he was getting a little too close to the shore, as he worked so hard to get out into the ocean a huge wave would push him up a little closer to the beach and again and again he would work hard to get free. Finally after near exhaustion he made it and off he went into the deep blue ocean where he belongs. WOW, that reminded me so much of my journey this past year, every time I would get past one hurdle I felt like a huge wave was smashing me against a rock and more bad news would come, I feel like I am still swimming against the waves but not drowning. Finally I think I can breathe a little, moving forward is really hard knowing the VILLAIN can take over again, the only difference now is I'm forced to think about it, before I never thought VILLAIN would be in my vocabulary. Tonight I sit in my condo listening to the fireworks going off, totally happy and content watching my little grandson crawl around, listening to Kayla and Jeremy play a game at the kitchen table and knowing Eric and Haleigh are down at the beach enjoying the festivities. Right now at this moment I could not be more satisfied with my life for me this is what it is all about.