Dream Big

 ☝My goal for today--Please give me the strength to do this ☝

Yesterday was a windy, rainy day here in Cleveland--Diana and I stayed in the condo the entire day waiting for a phone call from one of the referred doctors that Dr. Bernard gave us.

The 1st call came I was told we would be seeing the neurologist at 1:30 tomorrow (today) and be seeing the ENT doctor at 3:30 (today).  A few hours passed and I got another call saying that the neurologist and Dr. Bernard thought it would be best for me to see the ENT doctor first, and then they can assess whether I need to see neurologist.  This makes sense to me, Mayo clinic neurologist had released me from their care for this surgery after many tests they decided they did not need to be involved.  The reason for bringing in the neurologist is because the nerves involved are in the back of my neck at the base of my skull, and they want to make sure there is not skull based infection.  According to the Mayo notes, it's not clear.  So I will see the ENT tomorrow (today) at 3:30.  I am anxious to see him, because I really have so much respect and love for Dr. Barr's I want to see if this ENT say's anything different.

Just so I make myself completely clear, I love Mayo Clinic, I have had the best care there, especially with my cancer treatments, my team of doctors are incredible. When I was volunteering at Banner MD ANDERSON I was grateful for the treatments I got at Mayo Clinic.  These two hospitals do not run their programs at all the same, for me Mayo Clinic is a better choice for me.  One time at MD ANDERSON, we had two patients because of religious beliefs came to Banner MD ANDERSON for radiation because they wanted only women to radiate them.  These ladies were awesome and I loved them however, two weeks in a row there were not enough women there to radiate (they needed 2) and one was on vacation.  Without telling the patient they had me radiate these women, the one female tech that was there went in got the patient set up, and on the other side of the wall was ME and the men techs, they told me exactly what to do with the radiation and I did it--these poor women had no idea what was happening, after I did that a couple of times, I respectfully asked them to not ask me to do it again.  THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AT MAYO CLINIC!! Coming from a cancer patients perspective, if I had known a volunteer at Mayo Clinic had radiated me, I  swear (not litterally) I would would of sued them--no one should be using those radiation machines unless they are educated and trained.  I had the hardest time dealing with that, I couldn't sleep, I wanted to tell someone, but also loved and respected my friends that were radiation techs.  When I was fired from Banner MD Anderson as a VOLUNTEER--it was sad for me, but I kept going back to that time when they had me do that and I realized that was not a volunteer job for me.  Oh and just so everyone who reads this knows Banner MD Anderson--is NOT the same as MD Anderson in Houston TX. The employees get their check from Banner not MD Anderson.  MD Anderson in Houston actually called me after reading some of my blog and asked me if I would be willing to blog for them, as a cancer patient now volunteer.  I chose not to do it because I just didin't have time, but when I talked to this sweet lady in Houston, she reassured me that the Banner hospital uses the name MD Anderson for publicity reasons, they do try to follow protocol similar to MD Anderson in Houston.  This made me feel better, because I have several friends who have gone to MD Anderson in Houston and have been so blessed with the treatment they received.  

 So back to my Mayo docs, Dr. Kreymerman, what can I say?  He knows, his wife knows, my family knows I LOVE HIM, and that love goes far beyond him as a doctor he is a great man--not too many doctors would leave their office and come over the OR to be with a scared patient (me) and hold my hand until I was put under anesthesia, especially when it was not his surgery, he did that for me because he cared, and understood the anxiety I had going into that surgery.  Dr. Magtibay (my gyno oncologist), love, love, love him, he took me from a dark place to a new life, a new beginning.  Dr. Northfelt, I loved him from the day I met him, then was a little upset because I was not seeing him every time I had to go to the breast clinic for follow-ups.  I asked Dr. Kreymerman about him, and he said "if I needed an oncologist for my wife I would choose Dr. Northfelt, he is head of his department and has a lot of administrative things he is responsible for" I requested to see Dr. Northfelt at least once a year, just to make sure we are on the same page with treatments, and because I feel more confidence when I get to see him, I feel like he's not just a "silent partner" every time I see him I do feel reassured that "yes, he is going to be with me to the end of my journey"  Dr. Northfelt has a heart of GOLD, I love him and have learned to understand why he cannot see every patient every time they come for check ups.  I love Maryann Forrett his assistant, she is sweet, kind and compassionate just like Dr. Northfelt, I know I can talk to her about anything.

In 45 minutes I will walk over the Cleveland Clinic and listen to another ENT, get some advice and hopefully have some answers as to how to proceed, compare those with Doctor Barr's proposal and make some decisions....Time for more prayers, my knees are getting caloused.