To the person who wanted to know how my phone got in the toilet? It was in my back pocket, just so you know I retrieved it before I sat down--no body fluids got on the phone, but it was still kinda gross to put my hand in the water and may I also say I did it swiftly and without thinking--I guess this goes to show us how much we all care about our phones.
I saw Dr. Barr's today at the Mayo Clinic, the more I visit with him the more I admire and love him. I'm not sure how or why I am so blessed to have the team of doctors I have, but I really do have a great relationship with all of them.
Today he vacuumed out my ear, there was a lot of drainage. When I told him about the pain I was feeling down the back side of my ear and down my neck, he took a look and said he could not see that far into my ear, he would have to take off the ear again to see why it is causing this pain. However, he did reassure me that the surgery I went through will probably take 6 months to completely heal from. I had only 2 questions for him.....
Me: "OK I know this may seem weird to you, but I'm going to ask anyway OK?"
Dr.: with a huge smile, I love his smile. "yes, go ahead and ask"
Me: lifting my hair back as if I was putting it in a ponytail "Do you see any difference in my two ears?"
Dr.: again with that smile "Umm, yes one sticks out more than the other"
Me: "will it always be this way, because I like to workout with my hair up, and it is really obvious"
Dr.: "your ear is still healing and is still swollen, however I don't think there is enough bone to support your right ear the way you had it before surgery." (smile) "let me ask you, would you rather have a tumor in your ear and a normal looking ear? or would you rather have a chance to live and hear better out of your left ear? besides you have a screw hanging out of the bone that is visible too, who cares what your ear looks like when your hair is up, no one will even notice"
Me: "now wait just a darn minute, that's not fair" he smiles bigger this time with his eyes "what can I say to that?" we both laugh and I say "you are absolutely right"
Dr.: "what is your other question?"
Me: "did you know I have bald spots on my head?"
Dr.: no smile--more concerned "where are they let me see them"
Me: pulling back my hair on the left side I show him the complete baldness in a 2 inch by 2 inch round
with very little hair covering it--then another one in the back of my head
Dr.: "I am so sorry, I wish I had a magic potion we could put on that to make it grow back"
Me: "It's OK, I've been bald before this is nothing"
Dr.: "good attitude it will grow back before you know it"
Now thinking back about this conversation I'm kind of embarrassed that I asked him about my ear sticking out, I'm sure he wishes he could speak louder, but is glad to be alive and enjoying life with his family.
One of the reason's I love Dr. Barr's so much and we have connected easily, he has had problems with his Trakia and Larynx, so he talks very quietly almost a whisper--when we first met, he read my charts and said jokingly "you and I are a great team, I can't talk, and you can't hear" he is so great to talk directly to my face so I can read his lips. He was very tender with me when I cried in his office about what I was feeling during those weeks of not being able to hear, his residents where in the room and he asked them to make sure if they talked to me they were looking straight at my face so I could try to read their lips. I think I respond better to doctors who can be serious when they need to, give it to me straight, and then joke and make light of things when it's necessary to just get my thick head to understand, hair grows back--"who cares, at least I'm Alive"
I will not be returning to work next week, Dr. Barr's decided I need one more week to try to get this infection under control. I am feeling much better, and am ready to go back to work, Eric wants me to take it easy and do what the doc tells me to do. Tonight I can't help but be overwhelmed with all the blessings I have received throughout my life. I'm looking forward to 2014 with a strengthened heart, and greater empathy for the deaf. I would love to learn sign language--maybe I will add that to my list of things to do.
Through this experience I'm not sure what I was supposed to learn and maybe my school of learning on this topic is not quite over yet, but I know what I have learned so far:
Never take hearing for granted
Listen to uplifting music-music that brings a smile to your face or a tear to your eye.
He sees the heart inside me, and is the only one who knows the strength I have
Even if I can't hear, I can feel Him with me--every time I kneel down he always answers