September 24, 2013
A year ago I was hit with a hammer in the head (not literally) doctors found things in my body, too many things and I was not ready to deal with them. I had a surgery on my nose to fix the broken. I was told the septum was broken caused from septum Chemo. However I have issued with my right nostril since I broke my nose at ate fourteen. I think if anything all chemo did was finally crush it in. I said no to a biopsy, no regrets. I said no to the ear surgery with the BAJA implant, no regrets. I asked my family to respectfully give me the time I needed. Well it seems the time has come.
I was encouraged when I saw Dr. Barr's told me my ear looked better. Not as swollen and red, the carcinoma is still in tack. He asked me questions about proceeding with the Cochlear BAJA procedure for people with SSD (single sided deafness) While Eric and I were in Tahiti, my right ear started to drain non stop and without going into too many details, the smell was disgusting. The draining and pain took me back to my childhood. I dealt with this on a daily basis for years. I was hesitant to see a new ENT. Dr. Brian Borland had been my doctor since I was three. The last time I saw him was when I was twenty nine.
I was referred to Dr. Barr's by another doctor at Mayo Clinic. I love him, although he works in the ENT department his official title is Otorhinolaryngology. He is one of 12 doctors in the United States who do what he does. I again am blessed not only with another great doctor but one who I can tell loves his patients and has been extremely helpful in explaining everything.
Since the last time I saw him my eardrum had broken again. Unfortunately this will require a more involved surgery. I was waiting on the ear surgery until I was done with having dental surgery with Dr. Paul Kelly. This will be my third surgery with him and finish up the dental implant.
My 1st appointment was with Anthony Mendez P.A. He takes care of all the nose issues for Dr. Barr's. He very compassionate and kind. After some idle chit chat he asked me some questions about my ear, then my nose. Then came the time--here we go--the moment he sticks 2 sprays in each numbs the nostril and the the throat. To be quite honest it tastes like crap. It made me choke. I presented this young doctor with question "Do you enjoy looking up the noses of people all day?" he responded perfectly " I love my job" my reply made him laugh "Well I guess its better than other body cavities you could be looking at all day" This created a lot of laughs for him and I. While it was numbing he showed me my x ray--the septum is now in line the way it should be. However in order to have that happen the doctor had to take great skill in removing the entire turbinate from the right side of my nose then he said "Let's just hope you don't have empty nose syndrome, that is an awful diagnosis" He could see the fear on my face and immediately started to back track, he said "No worries, it's probably nothing let's take a look" 1st he stuck the camera in my ear so I could see the left ear and the right ear--there it was on the big screen in front of my. Wow, I thought it was a pin hole in my eardrum, Dr. Barr's could go in and fix easily. NO, my entire eardrum is blown out in perfect circular form. Now for the nose, he 1st looked in the left nose--looks good no boogers ha ha--then the right nostril--again no embarrassing boogies--but an extreme difference from the left, I could see the carcinoma and the hole. With that being said, Anthony then gave me the diagnosis we were not wanting to hear. I have empty nose syndrome. I can literally hold one nostril closed and still have air come out of the other, but the blockage feels like it is between my throat and nasal passage. Turbinatesd are important for the typical person, it sends messages to the brain when something is wrong in your sinus--mine is empty so therefore I cannot control the continual drainage or dryness of my nose--there is no surgery--but he gave me a medication to try daily.
Now on to see Dr. Freeman, my favorite pain specialist, he makes me laugh every time I see him. He will be injecting my right hip today, and my lower back. My lower back has become a huge issue and has caused me to faint with pain, or my knees to buckle up and give out on me because of the pain.
As I am waiting in the "complaining" room today more typically known as the "waiting" room all I hear is complaining people, today a lady walked up to the sweet receptionist and demanded someone take her back and show her where her Physical Therapy will be (starting in 2 weeks) "I need someone to show it to me NOW" for some reason she reminded me of Veruca Salt in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory "no daddy I want it now" WHOA lady back it up and settle down a notch was my thought. Sitting directly behind me I could hear the couple arguing about why Mayo Clinic makes them fill out all these paper works--none of the other doctors do that...blah blah blah....the lady behind them pipes in and says "Oh Mayo Clinic loves to give us all extra work to do while they take up our sweet time in this waiting room waiting for doctors to get back from lunch" I did have to laugh out loud about that statement, I have felt that before too, but I do understand the paper work on pain related issues they need to know what level of pain you are experiencing now, not 3 months ago.
This woman was so sarcastic and rude to her daughter who was trying to help her get the papers done as soon as possible and this woman was being of now help to her at all--she said at one point "just mark all of them, my whole body hurts" the daughter being as patient as she could said "mom lets take this slow, is your pain constant but changes in intensity?" she still continually belittled here daughter and it was getting frustrating for me to listen to. I closed my eyes and wondered who of my children will take care of me, or will they send me alone or with a caregiver, have I been good enough and kind enough to them that they would want to help me? Maybe this lady would feel different if she had no one to help her, I'd give anything to have a relationship with my mom. I remember all of the prayers in my behalf, all of the kind gifts left anonymously on my doorstep, have I give more than I've taken? if so I need to work on that one. I hope I never treat anyone like that.
Next is me, as they call my name I see Dr. Freeman in the hall and say "don't make me wait too long" he smiled and said "be with you soon" and soon he was, he asked me if I was writing in my journal I responded "yes, I always do when I come here, there is good things happening in your waiting room, and I want to remember them" he said "I hope you wrote that I am your favorite Doctor, so its worth listening to all the complainers" I showed him where I did just that, my 1t line was now I get to see my favorite pain specialists. As he gave me the injections, I told him "I don't like you anymore, this really hurts"--he said "but I will be your favorite in a few days, so I'm not worried" I went off to recovery until I was stable enough to walk and drove home. That is the update more to come in the next few weeks.
Keeping the future at bay
2 hours ago