Sunday, January 29, 2012

Never Forget

I found this quote lying on the floor of the chapel this morning.

Never forget in the darkness, what you have learned in the light--

There is a transformation that occurs sometimes when people go through a life altering experience in their lives.  For me it started instantly, when I was diagnosed, on the way home I remember thinking "nothing else matters right now, nothing !!" When my brother died, I thought the same thing--I knew my life was going to change, what I didn't know at that time was how much.  Before cancer  I was arrogant to think that I could never be touched by the cancer, after all I was healthy right?  My life was happy, nothing needed changing, I liked my life the way it was.   Little did I know, I had so much to learn, I still have so much to learn.

My priorities changed quickly, along with the emotional turmoil came the realization that I was fragile, and frightened.  I've always known God lives, even though I was raised in a confusing atmosphere I learned to rely on the Lord and HE always blessed me with light.  How grateful I am for the knowledge of prayer, faith and hope.  Giving in to the fear and allowing myself to be vulnerable has been the best blessing of all.  I've learned that happiness is so much more infinite and real than I could  ever imagined. 


Loretta Valenta said...

Monya, I understand the feelings that you write about nothing else mattering when you are in the throes of cancer. I remember well when Tim was going through his surgery and then 2 weeks later he bagan radiation and chemo. During that time I would hear people talk of how busy they were, how they needed to do this and that and every other thing and in my mind I thought "none of this matters, none of it." Life mattered. Fighting through the awful times mattered. Staying close to the spirit so that we could be led as to what to do and when mattered. Our dependence on Heavenly Father mattered. Us staying close and loving each other mattered. Staying strong for our children mattered. All the really important things came into focus as never before. Looking back it was a blessing to glimpse what truly is needful, a blessing indeed. :)