Sunday, May 8, 2011


Me and Hales

Me and Kayla

Brian Me and Jeremy

Eric and I

Me and Katilyn
Today is Mother's Day, I woke up so excited to get to talk to Blake, but if I'm completely honest that excitement was quickly replaced with a little resentment and anger.  I came down stairs and the kitchen was  a mess, I had to hand wash 2 sinks full of dirty dishes ...... really? I opened the shutters in my kitchen hoping the sunshine would bring some light into my soul   Uh, didn't work the more I washed the more angry I got, I guess you could say I  was expecting to not be the maid today.  I expressed myself to one of my children, (by the way this was my 1st of many mistakes today)
Ryan Durfee spoke in Sacrament today,  homecoming from his Brazilian mission.  My heart began to soften as he spoke of his mother, and of the sacrifice so many mothers make for their children.  My mind starting thinking about my own mother, I wonder what she is doing today?  I wonder if she wishes she had 2 sinks full of dishes she could do?  Wow, how could I be so upset this morning over something so small and insignificant?  The truth is being a mother is hard, I can honestly say I have not felt like I did this morning in over 2 years.  I realize now that the adversary tries so hard to break up families, in contentious times there can be no light, only darkness and that is how I felt this morning it was awful.  Tears filled my eyes as Brother Phelps began playing "The Spirit of God" (the traditional closing song in our ward when RM's give their talk)  I could feel the music in my heart (literally) it was so loud the Bishops son was sitting in front me plugging his ears, Brother Phelps never disappoints, the right music always, without fail brings the spirit to my soul.  I'm grateful for the Atonement in my life, I love the knowledge I have that I can renew my covenants I have made with the Lord  every Sunday during Sacrament and ask for forgiveness for the little things I've done during the week, the things I need to work on.
I'm ending this Mothers Day tonight with gladness in my heart and thankfulness for the children my Heavenly Father has entrusted me with.   Blake brought joy and happiness into our home today as he spoke to each one of us, I told him as I hung up how much I loved him, and that the next time we talk I will be hugging him-only 4 months left.  Kayla and Jeremy came over and made dinner, Kayla is such a great mom and Jeremy has been a loving and supportive husband and now daddy.   Haleigh, is so sweet to me and I love just to sit and listen to her, she is wise beyond her years spiritually.  Kaitlyn is most like her mother, and I'm not sure if that is good or bad, but I do know that she has a deep strong testimony of God, that I cannot take any credit for she has found the answers all on her own.  Brian was so sweet to today right before the Sacrament he handed me a copy of his Patriarchal Blessing, I asked if he wanted me to read it and he nodded "yes" He has been promised some specific blessings, after reading his blessing I have thought about it all day, I realized tonight his blessing is detailed and more specific to him than any blessing I have ever read.  I was honored that he allowed me to read such a special blessing, he is the best man,  Kailtyn could have chosen for a husband.   
As I kneel to say my personal prayers tonight I am especially thankful for the opportunity I have had so far in my life to be a mother, times are not always easy, choices are not always black and white, tempers sometimes get in the way of allowing a family to grow to it's potential, but the good news is that we (I) can try harder tomorrow to be better than I was today.  I love being a mother, it's the most rewarding and spiritual experience I have ever had... I love you Kayla, Blake, Kaitlyn and Haleigh more than you will ever know, please be patient with me, I'm still learning and more good news is that you will have the opportunity to be a better parent than I have been to your children.


Anonymous said...

Happy belated Mother's Day to you Monya. You are the most wonderful mother. I have watched you mother your kids for 20 years. You are such an example to your kids on so many levels yet your are so much fun and such a good friend to them as well. Well done mama. I love you.

Jill said...

Your family is all grown up, when does Blake come home? You look beautiful and healthy. I hope you are feeling well!