The day after expansions, I literally want to slap someone...namely Dr PK. Good thing I am not seeing him for another 2 weeks. My breasts hurt so bad, this last expansion was the most we have ever tried and I am paying for it now. I told Haleigh today it feels like it did right after I had my surgery, they (boobs) ache and I cannot get any relief, when I cough they ache, when I breath they ache, when I move on the sofa they ache, I can't turn over in the bed because they are constantly reminding me of the VILLAIN. Last night I took 2 vicodine, 2 muscle relaxers and a Atavan before I headed off to bed around 1am. I could not sleep, I got up came down stairs took a warm bath, listened to some music and tried to get my mind in the right place. However, nothing I did worked, my mind wondered and raced, you would think with that much pain meds in my body I would be knocked out. I got on the internet and did some research, looked on FB to see if anyone was out there, by now it was about 3:30am not one of my friends was awake WHAT???? Around 4:30 I went into Blakes room and quietly snuck under the covers hoping if I was really soft and quiet it would work......how dumb is that? I listened to his clock tick tock, tick tock staring at the ceiling of darkness until Eric came in the room around 8am. Then I got up and was totally awake and ready for my day.....do you think I will sleep tonight? I hope so, if not I just might be calling someone, one of you, at the wee early morning hours, just for a little chat....
Ok so the highlight of my day today was from a woman I have never met or seen before in my life. Saturday I headed over to Dillard's to pick up some Origins Grapefruit Bath Wash and body Souffle, the sales lady talked me into trying this bath soothing stuff for aromatherapy, but Saturday night I was throwing up from the smell of it (I think because of chemo) they also gave me the wrong package and I did not get any of what I went to Dillard's for in the 1st place, today I went back to exchange it. I was explaining to the sales lady about how sick it made me, she was so surprised, she says everyone loves it. When I explained also to her that I have the VILLAIN inside me and I am going through chemo therapy, she smiled and said "I'm sorry this happened to you, let me see what we can do to exchange anything you want" So we rectified it all and when she was done ringing me up and finishing the exchange she looked me in the eye and said "what is your name?" I told her Monya she said "I am going to pray for you" I could feel this sincerity in her voice and in her beautiful latino face, something was different about this lady, I could feel it.
She had on a necklace, a picture of a young boy and I asked her who it was, she said
"this is my son, he died 2 months ago" I asked her how she said "He was diagnosed with the VILLAIN one year ago, it attacked his legs first, his bout with chemo was successfull for the 1st few months, then he became immuned to all they tried and he died at age 11" my eyes were full of tears and we shared a hug, she said "when I say I will pray for you, I will, I pray the Lord to take away your pain and I ask you to please come visit me again"
So today I complain about not sleeping, about my aches and it seems to not be as important anymore, life could always be worse, I could NOT have my life. I hope everyone I know will read this and find something in their life to be grateful for, just for today be happy about something, look forward in life with optimism, knowing that you are loved and appreciated by ME!!
Seeing growth
3 years ago
5 comments:
Thank You
Monya - I read your blog everyday and you are definitely helping people, including me. Thank you for sharing your feelings, your experiences, your soul. I am thinking about you often as you fight this villain and this I know about you - you ARE a fighter!
Thank you for sharing this sweet story Monya. I believe this new friend you made was for a reason. Another tender mercy in your life. We can never have too many reminders of how blessed we are no matter what challenges we are facing.
It's 12:30am and you can call me now or ANY time of the night bc my phone is always with me and on during the night. Love you, Jenster
love. tears. smiles.
Love you sis! You touch so many hearts with your blog. I love reading it and being away from you it gives me comfort when I am down or having a hard time not being there...we all will come out of this better and stronger...
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