Friday, October 9, 2009

Trying to Cope

I spent the night in the hospital Monday night and came home on Tuesday. The drugs take a tole on my body, I am not used to not having full control so it makes me nervous. I do believe that I have the best husband in the entire world, he has been taking good care of my needs. Eric finally went to the doctor yesterday (I have been trying to get him there for 3 weeks) he has some fluid on his knee that is really giving him some pain. He was given some anti inflammatory and told that he either tore or bruised some cartilage, he never complains but he is sure limping on it so I know it must hurt. All the while attending to me. This is what Eternal Love is about, I tell my girls all the time that I hope they marry someone as wonderful to them as Eric has been to me.
Since the last surgery I am having a hard time using my right arm, lifting it is really difficult since they took out all the lymph nodes. Don't take for granted being able to wash your own hair, blow dry your own hair, put on your make up, reach for anything that is above your waste line or sleep on your side. I miss not being able to attend the Temple, knowing that when this all gets a little better I can go again gives me strength and more incentive to do exactly what the doctors tell me to do. I will be starting physical therapy on Tuesday at the Mayo to help with the use of the right arm. Today I am going to see Dr. Peter Kreymerman and hopefully he will take out 2 of the drains, they are annoying. I still get emotional when I think about my life and the turn it has taken, last night when I had some quiet time alone to think about it I cried, but I always go back to the scriptures or prayer to bring me back to a spiritual place so that I can cope. I know the Lord knows me and that he is aware of me, and I also know it's ok for me to cry once in awhile.

2 comments:

Shannon said...

Thanks so much for your blog. It helps us keep in touch. We go to the temple every other week and put your name on the prayer roll. I know that mobility is an issue with the things you have gone through. My mom has shared her journey in getting her strength back in her limbs. You are strong. I know you will fight with all you have. There is no shame in crying. It helps keep you healthly too. We love you!

Have you thought about a HM book of your journey?

Lila McCleery said...

Monya. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings as you go through this trial in your life. Reading all of the thoughts and concerns as well as the inspiration that you have written have helped me so much. I have been struggling lately with a lot of depression and self doubt. Reading your blog has helped me to see the bigger picture that my Heavenly Father may have in store for me. I never would have thought that reading your blog would have answered so many of my prayers. I guess we never know when we are going to be a messenger for Heavenly Father. Thank you for your amazing spirit.
I know that you will be victorious in this fight.
Think of you daily.

Lila