Music Fills My Soul With Light

Today I spent my day at the MAYO chemo clinic. This time was no different than the last, I had the restless legs again during chemo but the doctor called in some OXYCODONDE for my pain and it really helped alot along with my Ativan for anxiety they worked well together. Tonight I feel a lot of pain in my hips, back and legs, it's seems that the aching in my breasts will never go away, I wish I could say I am used to it but breasts are such a huge part of women and are recognizable to us. I just took more meds and I am going to soak in a warm bath, this seems to always work for me. Again, food tastes like a metal to me, so I will lose some weight until I find something that will taste good. (oranges work this week)
I love music and have received some beautiful music from Debbie and President Slade family, and from Norm Watkins and his wife. I want to give a warm thank you to them, this music gets me through some of the roughest days and I have not given you the acknowledgment that I think you deserve. Listening to the words gives me such a better perspective on my life and my journey and helps me on the days when I think I cannot go on. The have become invaluable to me in so many ways and I thank you so much for taking time out of your busy lives to think of me and know me well enough to know how much I love up-lifting music. I have made promises to the Lord, because of the music there are days that I am able go forward and listen for Heavenly Fathers calls. I am ready to put all my trust in the Lords hands and finish this battle with dignity knowing I am ready, and when this war is won and I am holding the final torch at the end I will fall on my knees and give complete thanks to HIM. I will give my soul to him from now until the end, being worthy to stand and listen for more instruction.
Being a good mother and wife has always been my priority, I wish I could say I have always 100^% been the absolute best at both, I have made too many mistakes along the way, but because of the ATONEMENT and the teachings of Steve Petersen I have read every scripture on the ATONEMENT, I do not fully understand the concept of the pain Jesus went through in the Garden of Gethsamane but I do understand this, he did it because he loves me and he loves you, we wants us to be happy in our lives, being happy means sometimes he has to raise the bar, and it seems way too far. I believe will all my heart when this happens he wants to see us if he has our heart with him, which means some raging fires to hurdle over, he gives us more fierce desire to stand against the hard winds, he wants us to feel more LOVE that is inspired from within ourselves, so that there is more and more of us to give. I know he wants more and more of each one of us and we all can do a little better.
I just want to be able to give more of my self, more love, put more purpose behind it, more faith and patience. In order to be more and more like HIM who gave us life we all need to to more to be like HIM. WE have made all these promises if we will give our ALL, now it is time to do our part, take at least one day this week and try to think only of someone else and not yourself, do something to make someone else feel of his love for them. I know for me my heart is fixed on getting home to HIM who loves me so much and has blessed my family immeasurably, there is more hope, more purpose in this world and I commit to put on my Temple voice and strengthen my heart by serving others. There may be someone in our own family who needs to see the light in your soul. Because of the ATONEMENT of Christ, Heavenly Father knew we would make mistakes, but he also gave us a plan that allows us to be forgiven and move forward with a fullness of heart leaving all sin behind. I have learned that in order to do this without being resentful, you have already had to give your full SOUL to him, dedicate your life to his teachings and be ready for when he calls upon you to do hard things. Right now is the time for us to stand as Soldiers, the Lord is harboring the strong to go out and serve him, are you ready when he whispers to your soul?
and when he offers to send you if you are faithful and anchored in the gospel you will be ready, no matter what the challenge is. I think some journeys are harder than others and sometimes it is hard, as the natural man, to understand why. I along with some many other worthy people wish we could answer this questions. I know when chains are around your heart, it is possible to have those chains broken, but only by putting on the full armour of God, then going out and finding other broken hearts and help them find the way back to the Lords Mercy, which we all not matter what we have done deserve. When the clouds break they give light, broken lives soil gives grain, broken bread feeds man for one more day, I truly believe that the Lord not only loves but wants us to seek out Broken things and give them hope once again.