Excepting a Compliment is Hard for Me

Today I had an appointment with my endocrinologist at the Mayo, the appointment was really late in the day 4:30, I went by myself. Earlier in the day I took lunch over to Haleigh at the Seminary building and I ran into Jenny Scow Ruttinger she and I have been friends for over 20 years, I love her and always loved having a conversation with her, she came over to my car and we talked for about 25 minutes. She is so sincere and always concerned about others, as I took the long drive to Mayo today I had a lot of time to think about Jenny and some of my other close friends who are so supportive and fun to be around. I have surrounded myself with people who are positive, have integrity and love life, during this time in my life I am so grateful for these people.
Since being diagnosed with the VILLAIN I have had to learn how to deal with some of the things people randomly say to me., I've definitely learned what NOT to say to a VILLAIN victim, I have learned how to approach other patients at the Mayo who are obviously going through the same journey as I am, some of the strongest women and men I know I have met since being diagnosed, I'm not the same person I was a year ago. On my drive to Mayo today as the rain fell down and the mountains were absolutely beautiful to look at, somethings were so clear in my head, somethings the Lord is trying to teach me became very clear today. Most of my life I have struggled with self identity, I have never enjoyed someone giving me a compliment, most of the time I didn't believe they were being truthful, I have always self doubted myself and felt like I had no friends, and that I have nothing to offer, you know what I mean, I know I have friends but I've felt limited and chose my friends very wisely for fear of being hurt or disappointed. Through this journey I have learned a lot so far, but I will never doubt the amount of people who have prayed for me, people who I don't even know have prayed for me, strangers come up to me and ask my name so they can pray for me, and I KNOW they do. I have felt the overwhelming love from people who I normally did not talk to before. I have more friends than I ever thought I did, I love them all, even the ones I don't know anything about, but I want to change that, I want to open myself up, but to do this I need to trust in the Lord more. Why did I waste so many years in self doubt? I know the Lord loves me but I have always doubted the sincerity of MAN. I know now that most people want to reach out, they want to have friends and help when they can, I have had more service for my family in the past 5 months than I ever thought we deserved or could be possible. I will continue to pray for help from Heavenly Father, ask him to help me understand myself so that I can understand the heartfelt love of others.
When I checked in at the Mayo today, the cute young girl said "oh my gosh I love your hat, more people should wear hats, it really brings out the color of your eyes, and your smile" I looked at her and simply said "thank you"