The Lord Loves Me

Tuesday December 24th--

This week I got a phone call from my sister Sonya, her son and his wife Katie are having a baby in a couple months, she's been so excited because she had all boys and now finally they were having their 1st baby girl in the family, her phone call was to let me know Katie had gone to her regular appointment and there was no heart beat, the baby had died.  It was heart breaking, and Jimmie was in California.  She was induced gave birth to Dannie Jo, named after her dad, she was 12" long and weighed 1.3 pounds.  Yesterday we attended her graveside, nothing has touched me like this did, seeing Jimmie carry this tiny little casket to burial area  and then he and Katie stood and talked about their love for Dannie Jo and the plan of salvation, I was very impressed with their knowledge of the plan of salvation there is no doubt in my mind or theirs that they will hold and love and hug and kiss Dannie Jo again someday.  She is a good reason for us all to live like Christ did so we can be with her again --

Also going on in the Williams family Blake was admitted to Banner Gateway early this morning, he has been to the ER a couple of times this week and been sent home with really no answers.  He has incredible pain in his stomach, throwing up, diarrhea and complete  frustration not knowing what the problem is.  They took several  cultures and we still have no answers.  He was dis-charged from the hospital with antibiotics, pain meds, and a referral to a gastro Doctor.  Also last night our little Recker was in the ER, I don't really understand a lot about his diagnosis (Autism) but he has breathing problems when he gets a cold it is intensified. Last night he was gasping for breath, so Kayla took him to the ER at Phoenix Children's Hospital,  he is home now and doing well, he was given some breathing treatments.

After spending time at the hospital today, when I got home the right side of my face was very swollen, Sonya had said something about it yesterday but I didn't notice anything except that I cannot eat much as my jaw hurts when I open my mouth, so soup has been just about all I can eat.  Last night when I washed my face I could see the swollen areas Sonya was talking about, and it felt different on that side when I put on the face lotion. Tonight I had Sonya and Greg come over and look at the inside of my ear with a flashlight, Eric was gone and I cannot see inside my ear, I always put two pieces of cotton in my ear like the Doctor showed me how to do, but I could not find the other one. Greg did the looking, Sonya held the flashlight--not a fun sight to see I'm sure, I asked Greg to take a picture so I could see what it looks like.

Sonya had some tears in her eyes, but I know she has had so much going on that this was not what she was worried about.  The pain is still unmanageable, and I am so worried of getting germs, but quite honestly I do not feel great and have not left my home other than  Eric taking me for a ride and that was not what I had expected.  Tomorrow is Christmas and Eric and I both looked at each other and said we do not feel the Christmas spirit that we normally do.  Let's hope 2014 will be an uplifting and learning year without surgery or pain.

Christmas Day 2013

I woke up this morning to my sweet Ezra in my face, smiling big.  Oh I love my grandchildren they certainly can  turn a frown into a smile.  Neither Ez or Recker  understand or know what Christmas is, we enjoyed giving them some little things and spending time with Kayla and Jeremy, but the second Ezra got tired I took the opportunity to feed him his bottle in my bed and take a nap next to him.  We slept for awhile until Blake and Chloe, and Scott and Haleigh showed up, Kaitlyn and Brian are in Utah so we will celebrate with them when they get home from spending time with the Wrights.  I have to enjoy my time with Ezra when Kaitlyn is gone because she really does like to hog him...he loves her and lightens up when she comes int he room.

While I write this post it is almost midnight, I am sewing, blogging and watching The Sound of Music--my favorite movie of all time--Eric is fast asleep.  He tried his hardest to get someone to go to see a movie tonight, no luck.  I'm glad he has such a great relationship with his son in laws and Blake.  I looked at him tonight before he went to sleep and said "You know how much I love you?" he smiled and said "not more than I love you" and that was music to my ears, no better way to go to sleep at night I suppose.  Tomorrow I will see the surgeon for a 2nd opinion, but I told Sonya yesterday I don't consider it "giving up" but I really am done with all the cancer stuff, it is no way to live and my quality of life may not be the same as what others may think they would want.  So lets pray tonight that the news will be good tomorrow. Tonight I have a lot to be grateful for another Christmas I have been given to spend with my family.  The Lord loves me.