Even at my old age of 50, words can hurt. They can penetrate a heart and soul and for many leave a lifelong scar. It's interesting, we sometimes say the harshest words to the ones we love the most. Why is that? Maybe because we know them the best and we know what will hurt them, maybe we know they will forgive us, especially when it is family. I was so upset a couple of weeks ago, my daughter was wearing a pair of pants that belonged to me, and although this was not the source of my anger, it escalated into me telling her to take them off before she went home, I did this in anger, and immediately felt the pain I had caused her--of course an apology was necessary, and I'm quite sure this will be a comical story told at my funeral or memorial service one day when I am long gone, but truly as I write this now I am embarrassed and sorry for how I treated her, it was not necessary.
I was deeply saddened by words spoken to me recently, it's going to take a long time to get those echoing words out of my mind, and then out of my heart, not necessarily by a family member, but even a complete stranger can not knowingly trigger a memory or thought that can hurt.
One of the only compliments I ever heard my mother give me growing up, was that I had the ability to be stung by the words of others, sting back (sometimes unnecessarily) get over it, and move on.
In so many ways I am still that little girl, I am usually not effected by the words of others, unless they are words of wisdom I can use in my life. Other than those words I try to keep the negative out, but I have this nasty side of me that comes out like the devil sometimes, you know when someone says something mean about one of your children? That mother hen comes out and fights for her own.
It's amazing to me how a song or smell can take me right back to my childhood, or teen years. There are certain songs I listened to during difficult times in my life, that now I cannot stand to have my ears hear. There is a smell that will take me back to an awful memory of life. However, there are tender moments with music that will immediately take me back to a grateful place, a place to keep me grounded and happy for who I am, and what I believe in.
The Lord gives us the ability to forgive others, this is a commandment. For so many years I wondered how this was possible, how could our Heavenly Father ask us to forgive those who had hurt me so deeply, especially the people in my life who I was sent to from Heaven to be protected by and loved unconditionally for eternity. I soon realized it was my responsibility to form my own relationships with others respectfully and worthily. As a young mother, I was unsuccessful in doing these things, I tried so hard to keep my covenants, but many times missed the mark by raising my voice or speaking unkindly to my children or my husband. I realize now after attending the temple on a regular basis that Satan has his ways of getting us to follow him, then he says "now go and get someone else to do this too" oh how evil enjoys company, and so many of us follow as it is so tempting to act out instead of embrace and say "I'm sorry, I was wrong" so much of this selfishness we portray is Satan getting his way, prompting us to follow in his ways. I promise those ways will bring you into the darkness and can be a black whole hard to get out of.
Recognize the good in others, not their stains. At times a stain needs appropriate attention to be cleansed, but always build on his or her virtues.
When you feel that there is only a thin thread of hope, it is really not a thread but a massive connecting link, like a life preserver to strengthen and lift you. It will provide comfort so you can cease to fear. Strive to live worthily and place your trust in the Lord.
We need not worry if we can’t simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him one consistent step at a time.--Richard Scott.
I love you my sweet children, there is nothing you will ever do or say that can take away my unconditional love for you--