Life Goes On

For a couple of weeks now I have been experiencing HOT FLASHES, seriously? It's so annoying, at first I thought it was just because our house was warm and I needed to turn the air down, that's not it. I think I could be living in an Igloo in a snow storm and the flashes would still come. Doctor Northfelt said that the chemo sometimes throws women into menopause, or it kills your ovaries temporarily and makes your body think you are in menopause, then all of a sudden a few months down the road they start producing estrogen again. Chemo does some strange things to bodies, both of my big toes went black after I finished chemo, I was talking to some other women and they all said they experienced the same thing. Insomnia is another side effect to chemo and radiation, I have a hard time sleeping, well actually I have a hard time staying asleep my mind wonders. The skin around the 6 areas they radiated is so dry and red, also I am still experiencing fatigue and exhaustion. I'm not complaining I really just want to journal everything that is happening so I will never forget. Speaking of forgetting, I was in my spinning class the other day and realized that there is not a minute of the day that goes by that I don't think about the VILLAIN, I'm hoping that I never forget but that I will be able to function eventually without it consuming my every thought. It's a scary thing, probably one of the scariest health diagnosis a women could get. Until my diagnosis I never thought about the VILLAIN, I was more worried about Eric and his health, always thinking that I need to eat healthy and exercise so if something happens to him I will be here for my kids. I never, ever imagined the VILLAIN would be a part of my life. Now when I think about it, I think why not me? One in 8 women will receive the same diagnosis that I did. Life goes on, every life is important and the experiences we have in life is what makes us who we are.