A couple of weeks ago my dear sweet friend Liz Decker asked me to give a testimonial at our Nerium Event, I knew I wanted to but was not sure what to say. How could I possibly inspire or be an example ? I have done ok with Nerium and fully enjoyed meeting new friends and taking my mind off of my cancer journey, but I am surely not an example of success in the Nerium world. I had goals written down, simple things I wanted to achieve daily, weekly then monthly when the tumor in my ear arrived and killed the nerve in my face all my goals had to be put on hold. I had 3 surgeries in one week, making it 18 surgeries within 5 years. While I was in Mayo Hospital for 3 weeks, my Nerium friends came to visit--what a surprise that was to me, I barely knew these people. That act of service was a truly heartwarming experience, I realized I really am loved by other people than my own family. These past couple of months have been incredible as I have fought my way through thick and thin to stay alive......right now I'm a little thick because of the steroids I am on, but guess what? I simply don't care, if those steroids can help me get to a healing place, bring on the thick.
|Look at these beautiful, happy successful women|
|Don't go anywhere without this magazine--every nurse, doctor|
and resident got one from me at Mayo and Cleveland Clinic
|Liz and Danny--great leaders, great friends|
Love Danny's shirt, I have it too it says
TODAY CHOOSE HAPPY
This subject of Living a Happy Life has become so dear to me over the past 12 years or so. Being raised in a fully dysfunctional home, then meeting the man of my dreams was quite an opposition from what I was feeling in my home , hearing Eric say "I love you" it was shocking to me. I remember going home that night at the ripe age of 19, kneeling by my bed and promising the Lord I would live worthy of this man, if He would keep His promise and get me out of this toxic environment. Promises made were not broken, we were happily married, blessed with 3 beautiful daughters and one magnificent son--they are all married now, and we have been blessed with 2 grandsons from my oldest daughter Kayla and her husband Jeremy--oh how our family has been blessed with great son and daughter in laws--I love them all-they make me smile.
So back to this subject of really Living a Happy Life, is it possible? There was a time I did not know what love was, not to mention true happiness. But the second my daughter was born, I was instantly in love with her, my happiness was filled to the brim, nothing could or ever would compare to this.....wait 13 months later my son came along, big 9 lbs 8 oz, Eric cried. I wasn't sure he was crying because he was blessed with a son to carry on the Williams name or if he was just happy for that special moment of being told "congratulations, he's a handsome healthy boy" All four of my children have brought such joy and happiness to my life, they lived the young life that I was never granted and I loved watching them make mistakes, figure out the problem and fix it.
When Kayla had her 1st child Recker, the doctor induced her so that I could be there for the birth, I was going through my chemo treatment and didn't want to miss the birth of our first grandchild. He was blond, beautiful and big--with a mixture of characteristics from both Kayla and Jeremy. Talk about happiness, there is not much more that compares to the unconditional love between a father, mother and their new baby, a gift from Heavenly Father, he has entrusted in parents to take special care of these special children of His.
Although those moments and days after a baby is brought home is such a happy time of life, trials do come to all of us. My question, even to myself is how do we maintain a happy life through sometimes what seems to be an endless amount of sadness, sorrow, anger and disappointment? I don't have much science to back it up, but would like to give my opinion on this subject. I believe each child is born into a family with their own spirit, some of those children will be born naturally happy all the time, smiles, giggles, hugs, kisses and eating may make him happy. Seeing both of my grandchildren laugh, giggle, run and play always changes my serotonin levels and creates a smile or two from me too. Recker our oldest grandson was diagnosed with Autism at age 16 months, I had no idea how to feel about that, should I cry or should I feel blessed that he had been sent to our family to teach and help us grow in compassion, and unconditional love? Now Recker is 4 and a half, he still does not speak, but tries hard to communicate--my daughter and son in law are amazing with him. Many times I have wept for them, not because of the diagnosis, but because of not knowing how to react when people are rude. I love to just watch him, no words, just watch....he seems so happy, he absolutely brings happiness to me. I'm not sure he knows he is different, he laughs and plays and hugs and kisses us--he truly is happy. Heavenly Happy.
|Ezra visiting bonbon at Mayo--he never stops smiling|
|My sweet little Recker boy, dirty from doing what he loves|
playing outside--gave me the #1 for the RedSox
When Eric and I first got married he would go around the valley speaking to hundreds of people about how to have a positive mental attitude....so weird that he and I ended up being married, because I was as far from a positive person when we met----maybe that's why it took 6 years of dating---I've learned so much about having a positive outlook from him. Imagine this, when we first got married Eric would make me stand in front of the mirror and tell myself I was beautiful, I was going to have a great day, and that I was happy. Laugh if you want, I did too, in fact I was so resistant at times he would laugh at me and tell me "if you don't believe in yourself then no one else will either, so hold your head up high and repeat after me"
My teenage years were fun with my friends Linda and Jami, I loved them so much and always found happiness, a joy in their presence, mostly because we were girls who made good choices and lived the rules and regulations not only of our faith but also our family rules. As I have thought about this question,"What is Happiness" the past 8 months I have deliberately made a decision to not allow negative influences impact my life. (The loss of a family member or family excluded), I allow myself grief but with that being said, I also believe the Lord wants us to be happy while we are alive and that we are promised a life happy after death, so happiness is never taken from us in life or death. We are the ones who make those decisions, "will I be happy today? or will I be angry or sad?" I found after putting this purposely to action when I walked or ran on the treadmill I am either reading a book or watch the TV in front of me, more than likely I listen to music on an Ipod. I noticed the difference, when a few years a go after finishing my chemo and radiation treatments my doctor told Eric and I it was time for me to look at my bucket list and start doing them. We first chose to go to Paris, my husband speaks fluent french and it was a place I always wanted to go. While in Paris I found my "happy place": Porte Jaune, we were in nature riding bikes being forced to see the Lords creations, to pay attention. I believe getting back in touch with nature provides endless abundance of happiness. We stopped and picked fresh flowers and berries, we sat and watch as an older generation of men played a game of horseshoes or chess. Children holding handing with their parents giggling so contagiously we had to see what was going on, it was a fish in the stream they were concentrating on for what seemed to be 15 minutes. Eric and I then joined in their happiness. Every surgery I have gone through before I go into the OR Eric says, now go to your "happy place, I'll meet you there" Do you have a happy place?
|the man feeding birds-so peacefully enjoying his day|
|MY HAPPY PLACE IN FRANCE Porte Jaune|
|with my favorite frenchy--selfies|
|On my nightstand--tried to edit out the pill bottles sorry|
|I loved this so much, I gave the CD and book|
to all of my son in laws, my son and husband
|This is the book that can change|
|Something I love to do this book|
is a good way to change your
attitude towards the blessings
you have in your life-and share
it with others
|You're never too young to learn how to |
a happy life
My life from that time forward changed, it took time, I had to go through every emotion and allow myself to feel pain, hurt, anger, guilt until finally after many years I was able to forgive and feel what joy and happiness, I mean true happiness is. I began taking my children for walks, going to the park, and being the mother I always wanted to have. I changed, I made a difference by being involved with my children, I did not do the best job but I did OK, and I know my children are going to be even better than I am as a mother. So the answer to the Question "Does Happiness Matter?" a huge resounding YES it does.
Researchers have found that "getting in touch" "earthing" "grounding" or "connecting with nature" regardless of what we call it, There is an obvious connection with a person's "we'll being, as well as our physical well being. So how do we start? One thing I have learned personally, there are like I mentioned before, some people who are naturally born with a happy positive attitude. I myself was not, I have had to work on this continually. Many times children are born into a family that is very structured and teaches them organization, which in many associations in life and at home is very important. I always wondered how people who taught their children at home could do it....I would of said to my kids "OK let's go to the park, or a movie, then we'll come home and do our math" In other words I am not a structured person--I love spontaneity--I look forward to doing small things for other people, I love to help people in need (which sometimes blows up in my face) I believe a person who leads with a positive mood is contagious, I would rather surround myself with uplifting, positive, compassionate people than the person who never has a good thing to say, or is a pessimist.
8 months ago my mother passed away I was not close to her and had a difficult time understanding her thinking. I decided at that moment I was going to take the next few months and do a kind service or something nice for for someone, anyone. What I did first was get a clicker I carried in my hand, every time a negative thought came into my mind or out of my mouth I clicked. After a week I decided to check out the clicker.....oh boy was I disappointed, there were more clicks than I wanted to have. Now what do I do? I knelt and prayed that night and asked the Lord to please help me to change those thoughts and actions. I've always been a little bit scared to ask the Lord for these types of helps, because if you ask for help He will give you more oppositions to increase your accomplishment of mastering this trial you have. So knowing this I pondered why I wanted to do this.
I reset the clicker and started clicking all of the service and good things I had done, good thoughts or comments I had expressed to others, unexpectedly after a week I took a look at my clicker surprising my positive thoughts and service had tripled in numbers. I bought 100 clickers and give them to all the people who want to work with my Nerium team--one week doing the negative, one week the positive, then make the adjustments, I started writing down my goals for the day, the week and finally the month. I check it everyday and re-evaluate whether those goals are realistic, in other words I don't set myself up for failure. Failure isn't falling down, it's refusing to get back up. I've learned if I had never experienced failure, pain or hurt, I would not appreciate the great blessings I have in my life.
|Without ever feeling sorrow or trials--|
you would never know what success
and happiness is.
|Think Happy-Be Happy-and the success|
will come--it's more important for you
to love yourself love your life and be happy
with who you are, than it is to struggle for
financial freedom, this secondary to
your living happy
Being astonished by the results of my positive week, I continued with the clicking method and I keep track of those happy thoughts and how they effected not only me but others. When I started this experiment I was 50 years old (essentially half my life over) Imagine if the people in the world all wore happiness clickers. I am a partner in a company called Nerium International, one of the reasons I joined was they were on the same thought pattern as myself. You may ask what types of things do I do to help others have a happy day. I started very slowly by opening a door for an elderly person who could not reach the door handle at Mayo Clinic. One day I was at a grocery store where all the floral's that
morning were being thrown out because they had a few brown spots on them, I asked the manager if it were OK for me to take a few, his response was "take them all", and I did. I then went to a local park and began handing them out to all the people who walked by me, I loved this, everyone had a smile. I went one morning and picked up trash that had been blown into the field where our children play soccer, I bought groceries for a family I knew needed them and dropped them on their door step, I bought lifesavers took them to a cancer facility and gave them to all the cancer patients, I gave a man a ride who was hitching, when I drove up and picked him up, he said "why are you helping me, no blonde woman has ever given me a ride, usually I hop in the back of a workers truck" I was listening to inspirational music, he asked me if I was scared, I said "should I be? do you have a gun or knife?" he said 'no' then I said "then you should be scared" and we both laughed BTW MY FAMILY WAS NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS ONE. I don't regret it. Giving a smile to an unhappy person, telling someone you love their blouse or outfit, does world of good and does not cost a thing. I remember a guy who was in chemo every time I was there, he looked so sad one week I brought him a bag of kisses, with a note, the smile on his face was priceless and we remained friends through email until one week he was not there anymore.....I cried the whole way home, but realized he is happy now, he won his battle--he gets to continue his journey in happiness just not from earth. I choose everyday to see happiness in others, I've found since doing this I get the rewards of contentment, no regrets, and simple joy. If you want to make the world a better place join the live happy movement today it's free to sign up and you will not believe the map you can follow of you paying forward, and then them paying forward it's global and I love it. http://Monya.mylivehappy.com/happy-reach go to this link and start today, it's free and so fun, when you get to the website click on join now from my website, so we can keep a count on the map of how many people we have reached.