Hangin with T Swift

For Christmas I bought all the girls and I tickets to see Taylor Swift in concert, tonight was the night.  WOW how that time went by quickly, seems like they just opened those tickets up.
I like Taylor Swift, I know she gets a lot of publicity about all the songs she writes about her brake up with the boys she dates, but tonight I heard it from a different perspective and I have to say I agree with all she said.  She writes about what is happening in her life at the time and how she feel at the moment, this special times, or difficult times is what will eventually help her to become the person she ultimately wants to be in life.... in other words she learns from each experience and her songs are almost like writing a journal of her life, not much different than all of us who journal or blog about our lives.

The girls and I had great seats and it was so fun to be together with all of them, not sure what the guys did tonight, but our girls night out was fantastic, and I wouldn't trade these memories for anything in the world, love my girls and really enjoyed the concert.

Birth Control and Mormons--Monday Mormon Myths and truths #4

THE REASON MORMONS HAVE SUCH BIG FAMILIES IS THAT
1.THE CHURCH TELLS THEM NOT TO USE BIRTH CONTROL
2.THE CHURCH HAS A MINIMUM OF 8 KIDS PER FAMILY

FALSE and FALSE

The reason Mormons have larger families than the average American family has nothing to do with birth control being prohibited (ITS NOT) but has everything to do with our belief that children are a blessing and that married couples have a divine responsibility to assist in God's work by providing physical bodies for God's spirit children.
The Church's official position regarding birth control is stated in the book True to the Faith married LDS couples should "prayerfully decide how many children to have and when to have them.  These decisions are between the husband and wife ONLY.  Church members are highly counseled to consider such things as the physical and mental health of the mother and father, as well as their ability to provide financially for the necessities of life.  My daughter has an autistic child who is non-verbal, he is extremely difficult to successfully watch over and take care of, imagine if she were required to have a minimum of 8 children--NO WAY--
After I had my 4th and final child, we decided it was time to upgrade to a different vehicle and we were in a financial position that we could purchase a Suburban.  One of my very dear friends, asked me if the church gives families a Suburban after they have their 4th child--Boy--that might be an incentive but the answer of course is NO--we are given no incentives, or told by any person in authority of the Church, that we are required to have a certain amount of children.
I know many women who cannot physically have any children, for those women and men my hearts go out to them--many of them are fortunate enough to adopt-My brother and sister in law adopted 4 bi-racial children, and as far as I know they too were not given a Suburban ha ha.

This brings up the subject of sex.  I also was asked if we are only allowed to have "sex" if we are pro-creating.  Is sex good and right, or is it evil and wrong?  Apparently there are a lot of Mormons having sex, Utah has the highest birth rate of all states.

We can pretty much boil down everything that relates to Mormons' views on sexuality to three things:
1. The human body is sacred and divine, including its power to procreate
2. Marriage between a man and a woman is central to God's plan of happiness for HIS children and
3. the family is the fundamental unit of society
Therefore, sex between a married man and woman is Good. it brings children into married families, and it is a way to express love and total commitment between husband and wife.
Sex between unmarried people? Not so good, it can lead to pre-marriage pregnancy, single parenthood, abortion, adultery, divorce, mistrust, guilt, and sexually transmitted diseases.

The basic rule of thumb is that Mormons should not have sex before marriage, abstinence before marriage shows commitment and fidelity to your spouse after you are married.  I've had plenty of people tell me "this is a very old fashion way of thinking" but when you consider the millions of abortions, the high incidence  of sexually transmitted diseases, the fact that 40 percent of all US births are to single women, and the countless broken hearts and homes that result from sexual immorality, adhering to the Mormon standard of sexual morality appears to be not only a spiritual blessing but a societal blessing as well.
SOME FACTS TO CONSIDER:
*between 1973 and 2008 nearly 50 million abortions were legally performed in the US, and four or every ten unintended pregnancies ended in abortion
*There are 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases reported each year in the United States and one in four sexually active teenage girls in the United States has a sexually transmitted disease.
*The US census bureau data shows that the birthrate for unmarried women has risen in each reported year from 43.8 percent in 19090 to 52.5 percent in 2008

So call us "old fashioned" but the fact is abstinence is the one and only way of staying clean and pure before marriage.  Some may ask Why Wait? isn't it better to have sex before you are married to see if you are physically compatible?
In a 2010 study of 2,035 married couples across the nation, researchers found that the couples who waited to have sex until they were married rated their current married relationship stability 22 percent higher, their marital satisfaction 20 percent higher, the sexual communication between them and their  spouses 12 percent higher than those married couples who had sex before they were married.  Most Mormons believe waiting to have sexual relations until after we are married is key to having a marriage based on a foundation of communication and trust, respect, shared goals and social enjoyment.  To me it seems like it solidifies an already healthy relationship.  The longer the couple waits the better.  From what I have seen, there is no lasting happiness in immorality.  There may be momentarily pleasure for a time it can seem like everything is wonderful, but it seems to quickly fade and become sour...love begins to die, bitterness, jealousy, anger and even hate can begin to grow.  All of these things are the natural results of sin and transgression.

ABORTION IN THE CHURCH: Members of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints must not submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for an abortion.
HOWEVER: there are rare circumstances that may result and justify an abortion form an LDS view, including when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth.  We believe when a child is conceived outside of wedlock, the best option is for the mother and father of the child to be married and work toward establishing an eternal family relationship.  If a successful marriage is unlikely they should place the child up for adoption.

Our bodies have the power to create another human life, think about that, we have the ability to create another human being, a unique human being, someone never has seen or duplicated, with eyes and ears and toes, and with a divine  potential and infinite worth.  For the LDS religion, there is perhaps nothing more divine that to share with God the title of "creator" and "parent"  This is why married Mormons have and enjoy sex as something sacred, but at the same time are not flippant or careless about it either.

For Mormons, sex in marriage is a symbol of the total union of a marriage.  When a man and woman have given their whole lives to each other, all that they are or ever hope to be, all their hopes, dreams, and desires--and have joined their lives together in a covenant marriage, then sex becomes a physical symbol of that union.  It is a reminder that in every way spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically a married man and woman can and should "cleave unto" each other and be "one flesh"
(Genesis 2:24)

Also, while we believe in controlling our appetites and passions, a celibate life is inconsistent with our beliefs that God's plan for HIS children and the purpose of life itself, centers on marriage and family.
The scriptures say "For marriage is ordained of God unto man....that earth might answer the end of its creation"

To answer one more question I received this week per email,
ARE MORMONS WHO HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE DOOMED TO HELL?

The simple answer to this is NO.  Although our moral standards are high and quite strict in the "worlds eyes" Mormons who have sex outside of marriage are subject to Church discipline, which depending on the situation, can mean not being able to participate in some Church ordinances like taking the sacrament on Sundays, maybe not being allowed to serve or teach in the Church, the suspension of membership, or most severe, removal of Church membership through excommunication.
We do believe sexual sin to be very serious, we also believe that God is merciful and that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ someone who has been sexually immoral can repent, change his or her behavior, recommit to follow Christ, and be totally forgiven for their sin.
I hope this has answered your questions, if not please feel free to email me and let me know what else needs cleared up.

My visit with Dr. Northfelt🚩

This past week my husband turned 55 years old--we decided to go to Paris for the week.  We always have an enjoyable time together, but I don't think we will go back in May again, it was rainy and cold. We went to my "happy place" to ride bikes and it was pouring down, no bikes and very cold.  We walked around, drank some hot chocolate and talked about having my ashes spread there in that beautiful place--they painted the house/chateau a red and white color, I think I liked it better when it was just white--Eric spoke to the guard at the gate and he said for a fee we can rent out an area, or room for family--could it be that he is finally warming up to the idea of my cremation?

Porte Jaune my "happy place"

the walkways and bike trails in Porte Jaune

This is the cute little hot cocoa/sandwich shop we love

the river, usually with huge white swans

the private chateaux

Paris, is and always be "our place" I love spending time with Eric there, it never gets old to me, we have our favorite places we like to go, but mostly just spending the days alone together holding hands walking through the beautiful parks and streets is the best.

Frenchie

Notre Dame picture for Dr. Northfelt

These are what I save up all my sugar for--days to look
forward to--pastries are my favorite sweets and I will
wait a year if I have to knowing I can have them

I have to admit I'm not always forthcoming when it comes to my visits at Mayo Clinic, especially with my family.  I really just don't want them to worry--if there is concern I will tell them but to go for regular appointments with my doctors and for tests and more tests, I usually just go and don't give any reports.  I saw Dr. Northfelt just before we left for Paris, (he is my medical oncologist) we visited for awhile, lots of questions, not many answers...NO I'M NOT CANCER FREE is all I pretty much heard. He asked if I wanted to change my cancer medicine I take everyday and see if I would get less side effects from it.  My question was "what does it do?" his answer "blocks estrogen" then I replied "what does the medicine I'm taking now do" his answer "blocks estrogen" we both looked at each other and laughed, he shrugged his shoulders and all he could say was "1/2 of my patients do really well, the other half don't, but they all have side effects" I then smiled and said "well, OK then, lets try it" until I went to get the prescription filled and found out it costs $299.00 pp, and that was with my insurance, I decided to stick with the original medicine and live with the side effects, if I was 100% sure there would be a change for the good I would pay it, but I'm not willing to take the chance of even more side effects and a huge possibility of no changes.  I emailed Dr. Northfelt from Paris and told him, he replied back that my decision was reasonable, and to please send him a picture.

I am coming up on my 4th anniversary of being diagnosed with breast cancer, I'm grateful to still be alive and know I still have a long road ahead of me, but don't we all?  Life is Good for me right now.

Love Shouldn't Hurt🚩

For some people who have felt the deep scars of inadequacy after being battered, whether spiritually, physically, verbally or mentally it may take longer to heal and recover, but the truth is when you love or are loved, it should never hurt.  This truth took me many years to figure out.

Being abused as a child leaves open wounds that can take years to remove, and in many cases there open wounds never completely heal, as years pass and abuse continues the victim often times molds into the life they've been accustomed to. In other words, it becomes NORMAL,  the perpetrator is successful, he/she wins the battle.

Constant hyper critical words can totally invalidate or erase the occasional words of affirmation the victim may hear.

EXAMPLE:  I was told I was ugly, too skinny, too stupid and ignored when trying so desperately to be heard and acknowledged as a child/teenager.  As a result of this I went to school everyday believing it was true--So I really was not that great of a student.

I remember a couple of times being validated by teachers I will never forget:
In 1st grade (yes I remember this far back) Mrs. Davis told me the winter tree I had drawn was the "Best" she'd ever seen--
another example was Mrs. Fish, she was my 2nd grade teacher.  We were given a project to draw an insect and label the parts, the anatomy.  I spent hours on it, Mrs. Fish loved it so much she asked if she could keep it and use it for future students to see, she actually wanted to frame it and hang it in her room.  I will never forget that moment.  Those 2 compliments got me through elementary school.

One time in middle school I can remember my mom telling me one day "Monya, you have the great ability to forgive, forget and move on" I really don't remember why, or the context of the entire conversation, all I remember is how it made me feel, she noticed me, something about me she liked.
I remember this so vividly, exactly where I was standing in our living room, and even what I was wearing.  Those words of affirmation, although brief, validated me.  Those words have stayed with me for life.  I absolutely do not blame my mother, now as an adult I realize she was doing the best she could do, and who am I to decide what another person's "best" is?

Even though I never once heard the words "I Love You" until I met Eric, I believe those 3 little words are worthless unless you are able to show it.  So, even if I had heard those words as a child, I think it would of messed me up even more.  A person who smacks their wife or kids around one day, then the next day says "I Love You" does not know what LOVE is, this behavior is painful and confusing..LOVE DOESN'T HURT.

I can truly confess that I can't remember loving myself until I started my cancer journey.  The chronic betrayal I endured for years forced me to stop loving and trusting myself.  Irreversible damage was done---I am a typical "text book" victim of abuse, it is typical for the victims to feel unnecessarily guilty.  My main concern as a child was my mom, if I told her what was happening when she was not home, one of two things could happen:

1. she'd leave him and be forced to suffer through another divorce
or
2. He would kill her, me or my sisters (the textbook threats of a perpetrator)

either way, both of these choices were not an option for me because I would of caused this awful pain my mother would have to endure. I can't believe I actually thought this, as most victims of abuse do.

My biological father Colby, was indulged in drugs and alcohol in the 60's.  My mom was so young and "in love" they were high school sweethearts, his family loved her, he seemed to be "in love" with her and they married at a very young age.  One night in a drunken/drugged rage he hit me up side the head, broke my eardrum and then passed out on the sofa.  When my mother came home from work, she found her 3 years old little  blonde headed girl, sobbing, holding my ear blood running down my arm and she immediately took me to the ER.  From that point on throughout my childhood years I endured many, many surgeries trying to repair the damage, to this day I am deaf in my right ear.   My mother divorced Colby, it was devastating on him and on his family.  They were a large family and loved my mother so much, my aunt told me it was like having a death in the family.  Over the years they tried their hardest to keep a relationship with my sisters and I, but it was  difficult years.  Colby went to prison and remained there until I was at least 18, so honestly I didn't really remember him growing up.  I just remember about the time I was 14 thinking "where is he? why is he not protecting me?" When I was 18 he came back into my life--he scattered those connections with me for years a part, finally one day when I was visiting my grandmother  (his mom) in Eagar Arizona I decided to go visit him in the jail he was in--I drove to see him, and I told him exactly what I thought of him, it was not a pretty sight, anyone within ears distance of a 1/2 mile or so could hear, when I finished it felt to good--It was like I had finally released every negative thought I ever had of him, interesting enough, the issue of my deafness and my ear problem never came up--I was way past all that, it was part of my life and I really was so young I didn't know any difference.  What I did find out, was no matter how much I told him I had forgiven him for that one act of violence, he could never forgive himself for what he had done.  He was a sensitive man when it came to "his girls"  I truly believe he tried so hard to become sober, but when he did, he would call me and the wounds would open up again for him and the drinking would start all over again--sometimes forgiving ourselves is the hardest part of the Atonement of Christ.  It was a difficult process to watch him go through, up to the day he took his last breath he was worried about me and the pain he had caused me--having the knowledge of our Saviors Atonement tells me that he has been forgiven, and has now moved on to dwell in a better place than he did while he was on earth.
In respect to this post, do I think he loved me? Yes, I do, his behavior was random and not perpetual, the drug and alcohol abuse were more powerful, and controlled him to the point of not being physically able to raise three children and be an effective dad.  BIGGEST REGRET OF HIS LIFE.

I know this may sound like a contradiction to everything I just posted about "love not hurting" but there is a difference.  Although, Colby was unable to be an active responsible father in my life, he recognized his faults and asked for forgiveness, admitted to his wrong behavior and yes, he loved me.

The bottom line for me, is that families, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents we all say things that HURT--I've have most definitely done it as a mother and wife.  Does this mean I don't love my children or husband? Of course not, however, words can leave a scar that will not wound.  When this happens put your arms around that person tell them you are so sorry, that you love them and would never want to hurt them, and move on.  This is not chronic abusive behavior, this is family life--and not always at it's finest moments--I will never blame my childhood on the mother I am today, I am old enough to know right from wrong and I take responsibility for my own actions.
I am grateful for those lifetime experiences that brought me to where I am today, boy I have so much more to learn, all I can hope is that the next generation will be better than I was.

Saved by Grace Monday Mormon Myths and truths #3

MORMONS DON"T BELIEVE IN BEING SAVED BY GRACE

ANSWER: I hope you will hear this loud and clear this is 100% FALSE

Amen and Hallelujah!!  If you ever hear someone answer "no" to whether Mormons believe they will be saved by Jesus' grace, then they simply don't understand our doctrine.  The Book of Mormon is laced throughout the pages on this doctrine and teaches us that "there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah" (2nd Nephi 2:8)  THERE ARE MORE THAN TWENTY EIGHT REFERENCES TO "grace" in the Book of Mormon, and the concluding message of the Book of Mormon is this:

"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in Him and deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might mind and strength, then is the grace sufficient for you, that by His grace ye may be perfect in Christ"  (Moroni 10:32)

The idea that Mormons believe in salvation by doing good works is not true.  Mormons try to do good works for a few simple reasons

1. we love Jesus and therefore worship Him by striving to follow His teachings and example
(John 14:15)
2. when we do good works, we become more receptive to and influenced by God's spirit, which produces increased joy, love and happiness in our lives (Galatians 5:22-25)
3. we want to be worthy to make and keep sacred covenants  with God that will bind us to Christ eternally.

However, I will say this, even if every Mormon in the world, fed all the hungry people in the world, put clothes on all the naked, gave all they had to the poor, prayed 100 times a day and studied the scriptures until our eyes popped out, we still do not think those works would save us.  So really what we believe is that it is ONLY through the grace of Jesus that we will be SAVED.  There is no end to Jesus' ability to SAVE.

Gettin' Old Eric turns 55

I have no regrets marrying this guy.  However,  he gets relentlessly teased by our family for a few things.  He cannot tell a story--my mind gets terribly scrambled when he starts to tell one of "his" stories.  The stories usually start in the middle, with a few of "then he .... and it went over there...." by the time he is done with the story, none of us have any idea what was just said.  Another annoying thing he gets constantly teased about is how he eats his popcorn at a movie theatre, NO ONE wants to sit next to him, he's loud and shovels it in his mouth like its his last meal--I can live with this, no problem--over the 30+ years I've know this guy I have not met anyone who does not love him, have never heard a curse word come out of his mouth, and he does not gossip but finds the good in people--thank you to his parents Viola and Ray Williams for instilling those qualities in him.

When I first met Eric it was not love at first sight, we met at an ASU singles dance.  Brent Stapley (who I really liked) introduced us, we danced, Brent went off to BYU married the love of his life Julie then Eric and I continued to date and eventually marry.  The night I came home from our 1st official date my mom asked me "so, what did you think of this guy?"  I said, "he's OK, I really like his family though"

As time went on and we dated on a regular basis, I began to see what everyone else saw this was a great man who wanted nothing more than to please his parents and family, he had a great love for his mother and father.  Over the next 3 years as we dated his mother became the biggest influence in my life.  Year after year when we did not get engaged on birthdays, or holidays I began to question whether this was right for me.  I will never forget a Christmas when Vi (erics mom) set me down and told me how much she loved me, and that she could see the sadness I was feeling, but told me not to give up on Eric.  I was given a blessing and I knew this was what I should do, but still it was frustrating.   We got engaged that year on Christmas day, the date was set for April 28th.  Vi went into the hospital in February and passed away 10 days later.  One day while I was visiting her, she was asleep and sat straight up stared me in the eye and said "no matter what happens to me, promise me you and Eric will get married"

We did, and we have experienced a lot of trials and hardships through the years, but with all of it we have truly become best friends, he was deeply compassionate with me when I was diagnosed with cancer and has continued to be my biggest fan and cheerleader during this fight.

I love you Eric and hope you love your Birthday--Paris here we come.

Monday Mormon Myths and truths #2

WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE THE MORMON TEMPLE IS "SECRET"

ANSWER: False

It's not a secret. It is sacred--and there is a difference.  If something were secret then it implies that we don't want other people to know about it.   This is simply not true, Mormons would love everyone to gain the knowledge and blessings available in the temple..  But because what happens and is taught in Temples is sacred, then we are careful not to discuss it with those who might not understand or appreciate its significance.
Jesus himself often told His followers not to publicly discuss certain sacred experiences such as what happened with Peter, James and John on the Mount of Transfiguration, charging them to "tell no man" (Mark 9:9 also Mathew 8:4; 16 and 20)  Most everyone has had a special or personal experiences that they wouldnt share or discuss with just anyone, fearing that sharing something near and dear to their heart with someone who is unappreciative wouldn't be understood or would be taken lightly.  Aslo, LDS people are instructed to discuss certain aspects of the temple only within the safety of the sacred setting of the temple.

 The Temple is to Mormons what Mecca is to Muslims and the Bodh Gaya is to Buddists.  The Temple is literally the house of the Lord and figuratively the place where heaven meets the earth.  Entering the Temple and receiving its ordinances is the pinnacle of Mormon activity.  Therefore, although I am speaking openly about this and this is open to the general public to read, these things are sacred and highly reverent and I hope that they are received in the same way.  To Mormons, when we enter the temple, like Moses at the burning bush, we feel that we are walking on holy ground (Exodus 3:5)

From the   beginning of Old Testament times, God told His people to build temples--sacred places where the Lord could meet with, teach, bless, and make known His will to HIs people.  We believe that temples and temple worship have always been vital to Gods plan for His children.

There is a difference between normal Mormon meeting houses, like the chapels where Mormons meet each Sunday for public worship.  Mormon chapels are open to all visitors-those who are members of the church and those who are not. On Sundays we we sing, pray, teach each other, and partake of the sacrament, and conduct church business for our local leaders.  We baptize new members of the church in our church buildings. But Temples are reserved for our most holy ordinances, such as performing sealings for eternal marriages, and only practicing Mormon members who are prepared and been found worthy can attend.  Many people wonder why there is certain qualifications that must be met before someone can ender the Temple.  To make this easier to understand, Remember when you were in school? Addition was always learned before division and multiplication, then comes algebra before trig.

There are certain ordinances that are necessary to learn and partake of before entering the temples.
1. a person must be a member of the LDS church (baptism is our first important ordinance)
2. a person must be a member of the LDS church for at least one year, be at least twelve years old, and be found worthy to hold a temple recommend.

To determine ones worthiness our LDS leaders, such as a bishop (like ministers) conduct a PRIVATE INTERVIEW and ask certain questions about the persons faithfulness.  If we have complied with those requirements, then we are granted a recommend to enter the temple and participate in its ordinances.  Anyone who is prepared and found worthy is welcome  and encouraged to attend the temple.

LDS Apostle Boyd K Packer wrote--"Here in the interview with their local LDS minister the member is asked searching questions about his or her personal conduct, worthiness and loyalty to the Church and its leaders.  He or she must be morally clean and is keeping the word of wisdom, paying a full tithe, living in harmony with the teachings of Christ and not maintaining any affiliation or sympathy with any apostate groups.

In the temple we learn about God's plan for His children and make covenants with God to be obedient and to dedicate our life to Him.  Much of the work that goes on inside aLDS temples is related to families.  We believe that the ordinances performed in the temple help us to fulfill the fundamental purposes of life, which are centered on forming an eternal family.

An "endowment" is a gift, when Mormons go to the temple, we receive many gifts, gifts of knowledge, understanding, covenants, ordinances and blessings. These combined make up the "endowment" The endowment helps us focus on the Savior, His role in our Heavenly Father's plan and our commitment to follow Him.

The eternal marriage is actually a sealing of families to be together forever.  When a couple kneel across the alter and are married in the temple by the proper priesthood authority, we believe they are "sealed" together for time and all eternity, unlike many religions who perform marriages outside of the temple will say "till death do you part"

One of the ordinances performed in the temple is called baptisms for the dead, but not to worry we don't actually baptize dead people.  We believe it is a labor of love, to baptize in proxy for and in behalf of our deceased family and friends who died without the opportunity to be baptized.  Some people have often asked me "why would you do that?"  I simply reply that LDS people believe that baptism is necessary for our salvation (Mark 16:16 or John 3:5)  Many people without any fault of their own have lived and died without the opportunity to be baptized by those holding the proper authority.  With that being said, we believe in a just and merciful God who has provided a way for EVERYONE to accept the ordinance of baptism.   The deceased person then has the opportunity to voluntarily accept or reject the temple baptism that was performed in their behalf.  This way, all mankind can receive baptism if they want it, and if they choose not too they can say "no thank you"

Like many religions that have special clothing as part of their worship, such as Orthodox Jews wearing a hat, Muslim women covering their heads or body, or a Catholic priest who wears symbolic robes, LDS people have symbolic temple clothing that is very meaningful and sacred, and is a part of our temple ceremonies.

Some people wonder why they cannot go inside the temples. Before temples are dedicated for official Church use, they are opened for several weeks so the general public can go in and see what these beautiful temples look like inside.   We have a temple opening in the fall of this year right here in Gilbert, the LDS people in this area feel extremely blessed and I myself invite anyone to enter the temple and see it before it is closed for dedication.  After the temple is dedicated, a person must be a worthy LDS member to enter and participate in the ordinances.  For some it is hard to understand why they cannot enter and see their child be sealed (married) if they are not members, hopefully what I have just posted will help you to understand and respect the sacredness of our Temples.

When we enter the temple, we make promises to God to obey His commandments, live pure and virtuous lives, and serve our fellow man.

Jeremy Roussel

Meet my son in law Jeremy, he is kind gentle and the best father.  Jeremy is married to my oldest daughter Kayla.  This week will be there 5th wedding anniversary.  When Eric and I first met JJ we knew from the 1st date that he was a good man.  He comes from a family of 9 children, his mother and father raised him to work hard, they also taught him how to treat a woman with respect.  I have never had to bring in my groceries from the car when he is around, he always opens the door for me, and without a doubt he always gives the biggest bear hugs to anyone who enters our home--He has a laugh that is contagious, when Jeremy starts to laugh EVERYONE  in the room laughs, not necessarily because of what is being said or done, most of the time we don't even know why we are laughing, we all laugh because he is so happy and his laugh makes us all happy, sometimes to the point of tears.

I love when Jeremy comes to the house, he usually looks at me and either says "what's up tuts?" or "Hey Monya, guess what?" then I say "what" and he says "I love you" he gets me all the time.

Jeremy is a peacemaker in our home, he loves and protects us all, he deeply loves Kayla, Recker and Ezra.  He has a sister who is mentally disabled, being raised with her has given Jeremy the ability to show unconditional love to most everyone he meets.  Recker, oh my gosh Recker just loves his daddy, when Jeremy comes in the room Recker runs hugs and kisses him, then leads him with his hand to the door--he knows daddy will take him outside to play, throw a ball, jump the trampoline, swim in the pool or just sit and watch Recker be Recker--I LOVE THIS ABILITY IN JEREMY--

I have been so blessed to have Jeremy as a son in law, he was here through my entire cancer process and with deep caring and compassion in his heart he helped care for me when I needed it the most.
Thank you for being a hard worker,  providing for your family,  being gentle and kind to me, and especially for helping to bring these two special spirits into the world--my grand babies,Recker and Ezra will carry on your Roussel name, and be proud of who there daddy is, and was, long after you are old and grey and have left this mortal life--your name will be praised by your children and family--We love you.

Mormons Mormon Myths and truths #1

When I started this blog it was for the purpose of sharing my thoughts and feelings, it seemed easier for me to do on a regular basis, I have always been a journal writer, but wanted to start something new along with my hand written journal.  I have said many times in the past few years since starting this blog, I want my family to have a history of my life.  Many times when I write I forget my blog is public for all of the world wide web to read, I usually sit at a quiet time with my church music and write what I feel. (Music usually provided by The Slade Family, or Josh Menden)

I'm sad to say I have probably offended some people, no, I know I have, but to those people I will not apologize for my beliefs, and I respect what you believe.  When I put my stamp of approval on this blog and push PUBLISH, I take responsibility for my words--to those of you who leave me anonymous comments I would love if you would put your name on it, if you honestly believe in what you are saying then put your name on it--OWN IT. Shout it from the roof tops, maybe we can bring together both of our beliefs and make this a better world to live in, that is what Christ wanted for all of us, to serve each other, help each other, we can at least agree on that.  I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, so yes, we believe in Christ and I believe it is Christlike to be kind to others and share HIS light.

I have allowed the anonymous comments but when someone leaves comments with words that are simply untrue- I cannot have those published.  I have no problem with you asking me what is true and what is not true, but it is not fair to TELL me what I believe, I have prayed, searched and pondered about all different religions, and for ME the LDS church offers what is best for ME and MY family.  I did not force my children to be LDS, and I do not force my beliefs on anyone else either, I also do not force anyone to read this blog.  If someone asks me a question I will always tell the truth,
I respect and honor those of other religions, we all have the right and agency to believe whatever we choose.  Like I've said, and I will continue to say,  I have no problem when others want to ask me a question about what I believe in and are willing to listen to the truth of what we believe in, but I do take issue with others who "think"they know what we believe because they have heard it from Mitt Romney, or read it on a website--not everything we hear or read are exactly true, it is always best to go directly to someone who you know lives what they believe in and ask for the answers instead of assuming, because it can hurt others.

 If you claim to be Christian, to me this means you try your hardest to live as HE did, when I think of Christ life,  it is evident  people wanted to be around him, the children wanted to sit on his lap laugh and sing with him, they felt safe, men and women flocked to be in his presence because he offered something that none of us can offer--COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO EVERYONE--in return HE has asked us to do the same.

-I stand behind everything I believe in, I am honest in all that I say and do, sometimes to a fault. But one thing I will never do is discard what I believe in for the approval  of another person,  I LIVE WHAT I BELIEVE and although I am not perfect I am trying my hardest to be more like the Savior and accept all that is thrown at me.

I have dear friends of all races and religious backgrounds. I have a brother and sister in law who were not blessed to bare their own children and adopted 4 bi-racial children, some from the LDS church social service program.   I am always so impressed and interested in hearing  what others believe, but mostly I love when they teach me new things and new ways of understanding,  the spirit has come into my life through others who are not of my faith, it has helped me to be more tolerant and to come closer to my Heavenly Father. However, I am also human and I am not in anyway perfect, I have said cuss words in front of my  children, I have even asked a bishop if I threw out the "damn and hell" words every once in awhile if it would keep me from ever being called to be a Relief Society President? his answer was "hell no"  so as you can see not ALL MORMONS think they are better than anyone else.

With that being said, I have decided to dedicate every Monday blog to Mormon myths, what is true and what is not, maybe this can help.

Monday Mormon Myth #1
BECAUSE MORMONS BELIEVE THE CHURCH IS TRUE, MORMONS THINK THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO WILL GO TO HEAVEN AND THAT OTHER CHURCHES ARE BAD.

ANSWER: ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE

Thinking about this, if it were true, heaven would be a very lonely place, considering that 99.98 % of the worlds population are not members of the LDS church.
We firmly believe that God is a God of perfect justice and mercy and that no heavenly blessing will be given to one person that is not made available and offered to everyone.
God has a plan and a purpose for each and everyone of his children (YOU) whether LDS or not.
Additionally, although we humbly claim that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Lords official church, we honor the goodness and virtue of other churches and belief systems as well as their faithful and wonderful adherents.  The LDS handbook of instructions for its local leaders say "much that is inspiring, noble, and worthy of the highest respectis found in many other faiths"
I think one of the LDS church Prophets President Gordon B Hinkley stated our viewpoint best in 2002. "This  must be our great and singular message to the world.  We do not offer it with boasting. We testify in humility but with gravity and absolute sincerity.  We invite all, the whole earth, to listen to this account and take measure of its truth...To those of other faiths we say in a spirit of love, bring with you all that you have good and truth which you have received from whatever source, and come and let us see if we may add to it"