Yesterday Blake spoke in church, he did a beautiful job speaking about the experiences he has had the last 2 years while serving the people in the Dominican Republic. I was touched listening to him talk about the power of the Atonement in his life-it seems the best conversion story was his own. His Spanish is flawless, I love to listen to him. Someone said to me very non-chalantly "so glad you could be here today" at 1st I thought "what are they talking about? I'm here, every week, what does that mean?" then my thoughts immediately went to "you have no idea how glad I am to be here" HERE as in here on earth, still alive able to see the success of my son, to hear him speak in Spanish so fluently, to see his passion and love for what he believes in, "Oh yes, I am so glad I'm here too!"
This morning I woke up, knowing I was going to spend the day at Mayo Clinic, I have this love/hate relationship with that place. I love it for obvious reasons, and I hate it for more obvious reasons. The drive to Mayo was much shorter than I expected, my thoughts were wondering--kinda scary for anyone driving down the beeline highway today--some of the things I was thinking about -- the mountains are beautiful, the dessert is dry and I am wondering who I will meet today.
The 3rd floor smells like always--of sickness and chemo, there is a stench difficult for me to stomach, especially when I am so nauseated anyway--as I sit in the waiting area I see, like always sick people, some look really, really sick I wish I could hug them and tell them everything will be OK, but I know just as well as they do there are no guarantees with the VILLAIN. I'm not there for long, my name was called within a few minutes as I walk into the infusion lab and see it loaded with people today, it made my heart sad for each of them--my nurse today is Allison, she is pregnant--seriously? can she smell what I smell? I wonder how does that work for her? So... I asked her "do these smells bother you?" her response "what smells?" WOW what just happened? it's hard to believe she can't smell the same things I smell.
|Linda-Stage 4 Colon Cancer-What a blessing she is to|
her family--so happy and positive
|Jenny-- stage 1 Breast Cancer--her husband shaved|
his head to match hers--they have a 17 month old baby
|Dan-stage 4 colon cancer-metastisized to his lung--|
so happy and full of life
|Sandy--stage 4 extremely rare cancer--going in tomorrow|
to have his bladder removed--will have to wear a colostomy
bag for the rest of his life-yet he made me laugh--
I loved visiting with him
After spending more than an hour and half in the infusion lab, I was off to get my bone mineral analysis, and X-Rays. I have always wondered why they make me undress and put on the hospital gown, I thought those machines could see through clothes--they can see through clothes at the airport.
By now I have a splitting head ache--I think trying NOT to be effected by everything going on at Mayo, I get the opposite effect--every little thing I see, hear and smell drains me. I started early this morning, looking at my watch as I wait for Maryann I can see the time is now 2:30, I won't be out of here for a couple more hours. These are questions I have for Maryann:
1. Can I see Dr. Northfelt at least once a year
2. Why am I so nauseated
3. Why am I in so much pain, legs and hip
4. Why does everything taste like metal
5. Why am I having headaches and insomnia
These are the answers I got from her:
✓1. Yes, I need to see Dr. Northfelt, its not too much to ask, especially since I will be seeing him for years to come, its important for me to have the reassurance from my oncologist once a year.
✓2. The pain my body is in is causing the nausea
✓3. The Xray is showing a spot on my hip bone and lower back caused from the osteoperosis, neuropathy is still in my legs caused from the chemo--
✓4. Forgot to get answer about that one--
✓5. Not sure about the headaches, she wants me to stop taking the Arimidex for 2 weeks and see if they go away, insomnia is part of the process--its not going away.
Maryann is going to call me in 2 weeks to check on me, and get an update about some of the conditions.
I'm also being referred to the Physical Medicine unit at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. Maryann told me they will be able to get to the bottom of the spots on my hip and back. Leaving Mayo today I'm satisfied that all my questions were answered. I loved meeting all the wonderful patients in the infusion lab, I realized for the 1st time today that this journey is life long--sad but true.