Saturday, October 15, 2011

Insomnia freaks me out🚩

As grateful and elated as I am to have my son home with me, if I am totally honest I will say I'm scared to death right now.  I am having a lot of really irregular symptoms,  nausea, INSOMNIA night after night even when I've taken my medicine I still cannot sleep, sort of reminds me of the days I was dealing with chemo and radiation--SORT OF-- headaches, my heart is making extra beats or stopping all together, it's hard to tell sometimes,  the pain in my legs has returned in full bloom, feels just like the neuropathy and last but not least my hip pain has gotten a whole lot worse--these type of conditions make me crazy in the head.   I have this feeling I'm about to be taught a lesson.  Today I went to Mayo for some blood draw, the girl taking my blood could not of been more than 18 years old, she apologized before she stuck me, I guess that should of been my first clue that this was not going to go over very well for me--she stuck my arm and it pinched and burned like no other--I looked down and to my surprise there was no blood coming out into the vile--she said "Is that hurting you?"  My reply was very nicely "uh y y yes darlin' it hurts real bad take the needle out and start over please" by this time my rear end was raised up out of the seat, and I'm pretty sure she could tell by the look on my face I was in some pain, then the cute little nurse said "Oh no, I have a one stick policy, I will get someone else to try"  Thank Heaven for that, I was not willing to go through that ordeal again.  I ended up with 3 sticks to the arms (yes that would be plural) not complaining but the reason why I have a port sticking out of my chest is for this exact reason--NOT TO BE STUCK A MILLION TIMES--even if the needle is the size of a nail head I would rather be accessed and stuck with that then be stuck 3 times by a nurse who looked like she was still in daycare.
I fear that my body is giving in, giving in to the VILLAIN--or am I just getting old and this is what happens?  What ever it is--I say NO, I don't like it it feels weird to be up at 2 am writing about stuff I know nothing about, except that I do know the pain I am in is real,  Next week I will go see Dr. Northfelt well more like Maryann Forrett for my oncology visit--I have a few things we need to talk about, 1st off I want to ask if I could at least see Dr. N once a year I need the reassurance from him.  Marayann is wonderful and I love her but for me at least I need to see my oncologists face once in awhile.   Dr. N is so busy, he is a big part of the administrative end of oncology  at Mayo Clinic but I need a dr who wants to grace me with his or her presence once in a while.  My list of stuff to ask about is getting longer an longer, Maryann is in for a treat when I go to Mayo on Monday.


lorie said...

Monya! Good luck tomorrow. I hope you are okay. I'm sorry I missed Blake's homecoming today. We were hiking the Grand Canyon and just got home a few minutes ago. Can you believe Alden and Blake are such good friends. That is a small world. Thanks again for your lovely blog. It is my fave.

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