Time To Get Away From Life's Trials🚩

Envoy--USAIRWAYS no better way to fly

the food

 One year ago Eric surprised me with a trip to Paris, it was an incredible trip and we decided that this time every year we are going to take the time together and plan a trip to places we have always wanted to go--NO REGRETS is our theme for life.
On Wednesday I flew with Kayla, Jeremy and Recker from New Haven Connecticut to Philadelphia they needed to catch their connecting flight back to Arizona and I was meeting with Eric to fly to Frankfurt Germany then on to Venice--One of the perks of working for USAIRWAYS is Eric and I are able to fly for free, and we can upgrade to 1st class when it is available, this makes it affordable for us to go on these trips.  As we snuggled into our very comfortable Envoy seats  I began to think about all that  has crossed my path this year.  This time last year I was just starting to get some hair.  When I returned from Paris with Eric, Dr. Kreymerman and I had a date in the OR to take out my expanders and finish up my reconstructive surgery, went back into surgery just a week before Christmas to finish up with PK.  Blake passed his year mark on his mission. One smidge of information I have not shared with many people --While I was in Paris last year I began to bleed vaginally, I tried very hard to keep it from Eric but when I woke up one night with a hemorage  I could not hide it any longer and he insisted I see Dr. Magtibay when we got home.   Dr. Magtibay is my gynocological oncologist, with some concern that the cancer had returned we scheduled a partial hysterectomy for January.  I remember crying in his office when he told me, he asked why I was so scared and confused about this surgery, I finally for the 1st time in my life opened up to him and Dr. Kreymerman about my fears-I do not feel comfortable talking about the details here on my blog, but I will say it has everything to do with the sexual abuse I endured as a child.  I cannot even begin to explain how difficult it was to talk about those details, to actually say the words outloud made me want to vomit.  I felt safe and comforted with both Dr. Magtibay and Kreymerman.  On the day of my surgery Dr. Kreymerman knowing how hard this surgery was going to be on me showed up in his scrubs just before they knocked me out, when he came in I could actually feel my heart leap in my chest, just before I was in a fetal position hysterically crying.  This was not his day in the hospital and probably had some patients waiting at the Clinic, but right now he was there for me, holding my hand his smiling face was the last I saw before I went out. I truly Love Dr. Peter Kreymerman. That was a special day for me.  I now look over at Eric and he is so asleep, snoring as loud as ever, this man means more to me than he or anyone else will ever know.  When I think about all he has endured with me and never complained, not one time it makes me smile...we belong together, and the past couple of months have been rough on me, without him I think I would of had a break down.  Some of you who have read my blog know about my friend Trystan, I met her about a year ago when she emailed me after reading my blog one evening.  Without going into all the details I will tell you that she told me she had a 2 year old daughter named Paige who died in a car accident she too was in a coma for 5 months, during that time her husband committed suicide, now she was going through cancer treatments and needed someone to talk to, when she found my blog and emailed me I was more than happy to share what I knew with her, over the next 7 months or so we became very close friends. During most of this time she was in the Mayo Hospital in Rochester where she was not only fighting the cancer with chemo, she needed a kidney which I was asked to donate to her, after talking it over with my family I decided I would. Our family fasted, prayed and even invited her to be included in our FHE on Monday nights via the phone.  There are so many more details that I really don't want to go into, but we found out she was a fraud, she never had a child that died in fact she has never given birth or been married, she did not have cancer--basically everything she told me was a lie her purpose was to find women who are vulnerable and get them to donate to a fake non profit organization she has for children with cancer, and for the kidney foundation--however the money is being directly deposited into her personal bank account.  I have now been in contact with at least 7 women who have been hurt by her.  The embarrassment and stress this has caused me is difficult to explain but one thing I know for sure is that the Lord has things happen in our lives for a  reason, I believe the reason is so that Shannon, April, Lisa, Donna, Ashley, Carol, Helen and the others could bless my life with their love and compassion, they have all become great friends thanks to Trystan--oh and by the way Trystan is not her name according to her parole officer.  I still continue to pray for her to get the help she needs and to find some peace in her life.
HONEST: I love People
TRUTH:  This could happen to anyone--maybe even me again
REALITY:  Life brings all sorts of people into our lives, we need to learn from them all
LEARNED:  Be myself-ALWAYS-it's not necessary to be a friend with someone who is not true to themselves or to you--I CAN'T SAVE EVERYONE

Now as I sit in this seat flying over international seas my thoughts are changed to another problem that is drowning my brain ....MY MOM--Recently I received a phone call from Ron Lundberg, his wife Susan is my moms best friend, Ron says my mom is not doing well and the husband and wife who are living with her as her health care workers are moving to Texas after being with her for 2 years.
This has been weighing on my mind for weeks now. She is not able to care for herself and refuses to move into a facility--the healthcare worker is turning her over to the state for evaluation.  I explained to Ron and Susan if I thought for one second my taking her in and caring for her would change anything I would in a heart beat--I asked him if I could pray  about it and discuss it with my sisters before making a decision, there is so much more detail to this story that I don't want to judge or go into it on my blog.  My heart is telling me maybe there is some HOPE for our mother daughter relationship, but my mind is saying NO WAY should I go there--my doctors are aware of the situation and in no way think I should be putting myself in any stressful situations--I took a week to think about it pray about it and discuss it with my sisters, then we met with Susan and Ron, they too have prayed about this situation and confirmed what Heavenly Father has already told me--now is not the time, she is not ready to change her heart--she would like an apology from me---I am not sure exactly what I need to apologize for but I would over and over again if I thought it would help cure and mend her heart. I spiritually, mentally and physically cannot put myself through this again--so for now, again, I turn it over to the Lord and let him take care of what I can't.  My thoughts and prayers will continually be with her for her health and spiritual well being.
So with that all being said--I am ready for a vacation from LIFE --we just arrived in Venice and I am excited about our little adventure.