I wonder if it is even possible to find joy in all we do, to be cheerful in our trials. Are our afflictions and trials but a moment in time?
According to a talk given by Jeffrey R Holland they are. (Shawna Crum brought over his talk on a CD for me to watch, it is wonderful, thanks Shawna)
When I think of all the people who do not have jobs right now, I wonder if they think this is just a blink of an eye. What does it mean, "if you endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high, thou shalt triumph over all they foes?"
I have felt the hand of the Lord in my life through so many trials I have faced. When I was a young daughter of God, I learned to rely on the Lord, I knelt and prayed day and night for the Lord to get me out of the situation I was in, I promised him I would obey and follow the rules and honor his name...if he promised to just get me out of the HELL I was living in everyday. He did.
Because of the sincere faith that I had in the Lord I was blessed to be married in to a man that I adore and love, who has always treated me with respect and honors our marriage as a sacred covenant between husband and wife. Has our marriage always been perfect? Yes it has, to me it has, a perfect marriage is to understand eachother, even if we do not agree, to be willing to hear the other side and respect eachothers decisions as individuals, to be able to work out any differences by including the Lord in all our decisions. We have learned to forgive eachother for our shortcomings, and love eachother through good and bad times.Is it hard at times? Absolutely !!! but who said it would be easy? I have always believed anything worth having is worth working hard for.
Now as we face this new trial I wonder if I have enough faith to endure it, will I be able to do it with dignity? And can I be cheerful? Is that even possible? I sure want to be, but I know I will fall short and it scares me. I want to have that magnificent attitude and maintain it during the good times and the bad, in sorrow or in joy, what if I fail?
So many people have said to me "You know that the Lord will not give you any trial he knows you cannot handle?" everytime I hear someone say that, (and I too have said it before) my mind says its true, but my heart says "can I do this?" can I be the wife and mother that I want to be, with a cheerful heart? Can I find joy somehow in this journey?
I feel the love of my family, friends and especially the comfort of the Lord. I think during the hard times in my life I have felt the closest to the spirit. There have been times when I have felt alone but I have always been able to re-connect through service to others. Right now I feel a little guilty because I am not giving to others, what am I doing to serve so many who are in need right now? (I will work on that one this week)
One thing I do know without a doubt is that bad times do come to an end eventually, maybe not the end that we were expecting or even that we want, when we are faithful to that end, we will be blessed, and I love this quote and believe it to also be true "heavenly promises are always kept" Heavenly Father will always keep his promises, it is just who he is.
So sounds like I have some questions that need to be answered and the only one who can answer them is me...
1. will I be cheerful during my afflictions?
2. how can I find joy in this journey? this one is a big ????
3. what does it mean to endure it well?
4. forget myself and find someone to serve, who will it be?
Tomorrow its back to the Mayo for more tests to be run, and Tuesday I meet with Dr Pockji (oncology surgeon)to schedule the surgery. I'm a little anxious, but I think the bad news is behind us.
A new life part 1
4 years ago
5 comments:
Thank you for your service - to me and many others. Sharing your feelings strengthens me, inspires me and encourages me to trust in the Lord and to be the very best I can. When you are doubting yourself, please know there are so many friends and "others" who care about you and have confidence in you and regularly think of you. So much love to you and your family - Norm
Love love love this!!!!! And love you too! Everything will be ok with an attitude like that!
Monya, you are such a good example. I love reading through your blog it is so inspirational. Just reading through it makes me cry as I can feel the spirit through your words. I love that I took that pict. of you guys in mexico. You 2 are so cute:) You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jenny Boynton
Love how you put this post! So true! I find myself in the same position all too often, thinking I am not serving others enough... and after this post I think I will go and serve just a little EXTRA this week before I go for my surgery on friday. LOVE you dearly Monya! You are in my prayers every single day and night!
Well Sis, you are an inspiration to me in the strength you have shown through this trial. I think finding "JOY" is something you have already found. Exhibiting that "JOY" at all times is impossible. But, believe me you have found and know the "JOY" that Heavenly Father wants us to know. That is exhibited profoundly in your testimony of Jesus Christ.
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