Ok so I haven't been the best at blogging my true feelings about the unfortunate facial paralysis I have. Here is a quick synapse of what has happened just in the last 2 years.
- Mastoid (layman's tumor) in the inner ear canal, burned black skin, very long difficult surgeries.
- Woke up one day with the right side of my face partially paralyzed--spent 3 weeks in the ICU and had 3 surgeries to find out exactly what happened.
- The nerve in my face that controls the right side went completely dead--no reason except an infection we had a hard time getting rid of.
- I was told to go home and learn how to deal with the new face, Eric was told "Get used to your new wife, she will never smile again." (I love this Doctor, I am just stating how we heard it, not necessarily how he delivered it.)
- Went to Cleveland Clinic for 7 weeks waiting to have another at least 12-15 hour surgery. Had what I thought was a near death experience.
- Came home to Arizona, searched for a surgeon who specialized in facial trauma...found him, love him and he's at Mayo Clinic or Maricopa (options are nice)
- Had a nerve crossover surgery (layman's...they took the nerve from my calf and threaded it through the left side of my head, down to my cheek.
- Waited one year, and the nerve grew one inch a month--Dr. Lettieri very pleased..me too.
- Had the next part of of the nerve surgery, everything was great until it wasn't...infection again this time compromising the parotid gland (Layman's--your saliva gland)
Yesterday Dr. Lettieri called me to advise I will be having surgery tomorrow. I realized tonight as I mentally prepared to enter surgery tomorrow....I am a professional at surgery. The hospital admittance receptionist called and said
"Monya, we are planning on seeing you at 5:30 am"
"Ok I will be there."
So simple, so comfortable and so REAL. It's not normal for hospital staff to actually know a patient well enough to talk to them with such ease. No questions about health history or medications I take, not even the routine of no aspirin, no eating after midnight....nothing just "See you tomorrow"
I'm so tired of telling my family and friends about surgeries, asking for prayers, it's almost embarrassing for me I done it so many times. I know those who pray for me don't feel like it's a burden but this story is getting old and needs an ending of Happy, and thriving in life.
When I start to feel sorry for myself I think about all the people who have shown me so much faith and hope during the last seven years. I also think about my strength and the spiritual growth I have gained by going through these hard times. I'm not the same person I was pre cancer. I know Heaven is watching over me and everything that has happened is for a reason....I have no idea what that reason is but I know the Lord knows and has a plan for me. So as I retire to bed tonight I will kneel to pray once again to ask for guidance and inspiration for Dr. Lettieri to have steady hands and a clear mind as he enters the OR once again with me.