Sunday, January 25, 2015

Divine Connections

God knows every hair on my head.  He knows who I am.  He knows what my future is.  It seems with this knowledge I should have no fear.  If I trust in the Lord there should be no doubt of His love for me.
Living completely in faith, knowing he will lead and guide me is still hard at times.  I know He has my plan already mapped out.  I've said so many times, nothing happens by mistake.  People come and go in my life for a reason.  I've made divine connections with some pretty incredible individuals.

When I was at Cleveland Clinic last summer I met a woman named Darlene Ballard.  I sat in the waiting area feeling vulnerable and weak.  I looked to my right and she was sitting with her friend (I believe) I noticed Darlene right away, her eye was completely shut.  Without hesitation I walked over and sat beside her. "Do you mind if I ask you what happened to your eye?" I knew I was taking a risk asking such a bold question.  Perhaps she was not like myself, would she be offended? I'm so glad I decided to speak with her. She turned to me and immediately I felt something, a bond.  "Of coarse I don't mind." Darlene continued to tell me  about why her eye was closed. She had a benign tumor. It wrapped around her eye.  Although she was elated the diagnosis was not positive for cancer, this was and is a major trial to overcome.  Her journey with this unexpected burden will not soon be over. In fact she will probably deal with this the rest of her life.  She explained the surgeon could not get all of the tumor, even after a very long grueling surgery.  She was positive, she showed me her eye was beginning to open just a bit.  I asked her if her eye will ever completely open. Darlene said her surgeon told her it will open.

Last Sunday night I received a phone call from Darlene.  She was simply calling to check on me. We talked for quite a while.  She has had another surgery since I last saw her. She explained it will take several surgeries to get the entire tumor.  I believe she came into my life for a divine purpose.  Sometimes the Lord closes a door so that another one can open.  I know there is not a support group for the loss of a nerve.  However, Darlene and I have struggled with similar feelings and emotions. It is my pleasure to call her my new friend. I will continue to pray for her full recovery.

I've learned I cannot force things in my life to happen, I can't manipulate God and his timing. He brings the right people into my life, so I can weed out the wrong.  I know this sounds a bit strong.  The truth is in life there is always going to be good and bad.  We cannot know the good without experiencing the bad. Just as we cannot know the light, unless we have experienced the darkness.

My dear friend Sheldon passed away this week.  I made a divine connection with him.  I will always be grateful for that connection.  He was diagnosed with cancer in 2008.  I was diagnosed in 2009.  Over these past 5 and a half years we were able to connect on a different level than I could with other people. Sometimes all I needed to do was turn around during church to meet his eye, at that moment we both knew.  I could see in his face if he was having a good or bad week.   Today, my immediate prompting was to turn and see if he was there.  Sheldon was a quiet giant, I never heard him complain.  We shared moments, thoughts and feelings about oncologists, medicine, chemo, and side effects.  He had a great love for his family.  He loved his wife Kit, and his children Estee, Noah, Peri and Chloe deeply.  I often listened to him share his feelings about each one of his children.  He didn't want Kit to have to deal with the effects of cancer and often took it all on himself.  Kit was an incredible caregiver and strength for him.  She was well aware of his care and was always concerned.  She made sure Sheldon ate clean and healthy.  I was always impressed at how well she was able to balance everything in her life.  I understood him wanting to do things his way.  I have felt those feelings of concern for my own family.   There have been many times I have chosen to not tell my family what is happening in my world at Mayo Clinic.  I think this is normal for a lot of people who deal with life altering events.

I will be eternally grateful for divine connections I have made.  With my Heavenly Father, this connection has been invaluable. As I continue down the journey of life, I will never ignore a prompting to introduce myself, find a friend or share a moment.


m.estelle said...

Love you, Monya.

Anonymous said...

Very nicely said.