Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Marathon Dreams

I was thinking as I watched Brothers and Sisters with my daughter the other day, I wish my life was like this TV show. One of the girls on the show found out 2 months ago she has cancer, she has already gone through chemo, lost all her hair, radiation and is now running for a Senate spot, oh yeah and her hair is back ............. wait what??????? I wish it was that easy and fast !!!! Actually I take that back I am glad my life is real, I have to feel something, I have to learn something, and HOLLYWOOD is not where I want to learn it.
The last 2 nights I woke up from dreams of me running, it felt so good. I know to some that would be a nightmare, ha ha but I am so determined to fight this VILLAIN and be able to exercise again. During this dream I was not in a race I was just running in a park, happy with all my hair in a ponytail, I was keeping up pace and enjoying the scenery around me. The trees were beautifully green and along the path were flowers, I could see ahead of me were some weeds, like tumble weeds and I remember wondering how I was going to get around them because they were completely covering my path. I tried to run straight through them but they were so thick, and the thorns were cutting my legs up, next thing I knew the tumble weeds were starting to disappear and the path was clear again. I continued to run, back on pace the sky as blue and wonderful as I had ever seen it before, up ahead was the biggest mountain and again I wondered if I could make it without being pushed from behind., as I started to conquer the hill tears began to run down my face, it could feel the pain and wanted to give up, my legs were burning and mind started to say "you can't do this" just when I thought I couldn't do it I woke up. I was so mad, I tried to go back to sleep but could not get the dream back. Until last night,,,,, I was at the top of that mountain looking down, knowing and appreciating where I have been but looking ahead KNOWING the road is still long and hard but I continued to run. The feeling on this night was as if I was in a race, so I stepped up my pace and smiled at the road ahead of me. I cannot see the finish line but know if I continue on the pace I'm at I will finish, I say to myself "it's not how you start the race, it's how you finish it" this is my famous saying I give to all my kids when they are facing something hard in their life. I wake up.
Tonight as I ponder this dream it means so much to me. I know I am not at the top of the mountain yet I am still fighting the VILLAIN but this is "my marathon" there have been tumbleweeds along the way, and I've kicked them to the curb with the help of prayers and fasting from so many people, right now I am on the uphill with the Lord picking me up and carrying me on those days when I think I cannot finish. I know when I finish this race my family will be at the finish line cheering me on, along with so many good friends, old and new.

4 comments:

Kristin Walledom (337) 912-5909 said...

Your dream is your journey. You are right, I will be there not just at the top of the mountain but along the path, cheering you on everyday. I love you!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to be there too Moaners. I will stand next to you, Kristin :)

Jen

Blair and Katie said...

Hey I made my blog private and wanted to invite you. Could you email me at kbbentley@gmail.com so I can give you an invite?
Thanks!
Katie

Linda Bennett said...

I think this may have been one of the most inspirational posts yet. Your determination is amazing to me. You'll finish the race- no question about it. I love you.