Today while working at USAirways, I received an incoming call from the cutest couple. They were each on the phone line, one in the kitchen and one in the bedroom. They made a reservation with me, and the gentleman asked me what type of aircraft it was, I told him it was a CRJ. Then he proceeded to tell me a story about when he was around 12 years old (he was born in 1928) he and his friends were playing in a farmers harvest, and the owner came up to the boys and asked them if they would like to go for a spin in his Ford Trimotor airplane. He said to me "I don't think I ever did tell my parents that story" When I asked him if it was because he thought he would be in trouble, his response was so sweet, he said "no, I knew they would not be upset, I didn't tell them because I didn't want them to be sad knowing they would never in their lifetime have the opportunity to fly" His wife was on the other end of the phone with the kindest voice saying "Oh darling, we need to let this girl get to work" I loved to hear her laugh, while I was preparing their itinerary they were talking as if I couldn't hear them. It reminded me of Vi and Ray--I asked them how long they had been married, and they laughed, both of them, so cute. He said around 68 years, but that they had known each other since childhood.
This was such a great conversation, I think one reason why I loved it so much was because they had no idea what I looked like, a voice on the other end of the phone was being kind and considerate, as they were with me also.
They were going to the funeral of their son. " I'm so sorry, It must be a difficult situation to have your son pass away before you do" she said "no, he was old, lived a good life and was struggling with cancer the past few years, so we are glad he is no more pain, I wouldn't mind visiting him soon" Then they laughed again....under normal circumstances I would of felt uncomfortable, and wondered what to say to that, but I didn't I fully understood.
This has been a difficult week for me, I really never thought It would matter to me what people think about my face, but it does. I went to a spanish speaking meeting with one of my partners. Have you ever felt like someone was looking at you? You know the feeling I'm talking about, you want to look back at them just to see if your feeling was right. I did, I looked at these two women who were talking about me in spanish, I know this because the older woman looked at me then whispered something to her daughter (I believe it was her daughter not positive) then they both looked at me, and the mother made this really strange face, again they both looked at me. At that very moment I was more vulnerable than I had ever felt in my life. I could not concentrate on the speaker after that happened, some of that was because it was completely in Spanish. I wanted to leave, but I didn't I stayed stood tall and made it through. I don't see any changes in my face, and I know when I smile it is crooked, so it looks different. I love to laugh, I love to smile--that has been taken away from me, hopefully temporarily.
I know I will never look exactly the same, I can recover and reprogram my brain; but I will re-form into a person different--hopefully better, stronger, happier than I have ever been. I trust in the Lord and the plan he has for me, it's just so dang hard on days like today when reality of how I look is slammed in my face by others. I have a new journey now, one that I hope I can recover from. Hopefully one day I will be on the other end of a phone conversation making a reservation and be able to smile with my heart like this couple did.