A friend not of my faith recently confronted me about some of the things I believe in, this conversation has troubled me, and I wondered if I left the conversation with her heart feeling mine as I tried to convey what I know to be true. Although we do not have the same beliefs, I am open to and willing to listen to the beliefs of others, because I also believe many of the worlds best people all believe in the same God, just choose to worship differently.
Something she said to me has stuck in my mind for weeks now, and I wish to share it here on my blog. I was told "If you had the faith that God could heal you, heal your hearing in your right ear, and heal your health issues with cancer, you will be healed" I asked her if she believed those people who have died and gone before us who suffered from life threatening illnesses died because they did not believe the Lord could heal them? she replied "yes, that is proven in the Bible" since that conversation I have pondered over my situation, doubted my faith, and wondered what was wrong with me and my relationship with God if I was not being healed.
I have studied every scripture in the King James Version concerning 'Healing' marked it, cross referenced it and still found myself kneeling in prayer asking for answers. The answers came, and they came quickly, "do you believe in miracles?" this thought has been in my head for days. Of course I believe in miracles, I've seen them happen in my own life, but what does this have to do with her questions?
In my opinion, my life was all mapped out, after all hadn't I suffered enough through my childhood and the death of my brother? I soon found a huge mountain in my way. I used to pray the Lord would take it all away, but instead it became a beautiful journey. Heaven has shown me so many miracles, I now take the rain with the sunshine and enjoy every minute of it--well most of it--the sleepless nights I have tried to pray away, but instead they have become my most learning times of the day--and I would never trade any of it--I am so grateful for knowledge I have of our Saviors love for us all, I am ashamed I asked HIM to take it all away--life is our school of learning, and the Lord is giving us a test to see how well we do.
I stand on my convictions that the Lord performs miracles, modern day miracles just as he did in the days of the Savior. And yes, faith is needed to receive these miracles, I know because I have that faith-I have felt the spirit when a doctor who told me my cancer had in his opinion returned, 98% sure of it. We as a family, as a ward family, stake family, and friends of all faiths began to pray for me. I cannot say for sure what was said in those prayers, but I can tell you I had faith and believed in every fiber of my body that this was not the time for me to die--that through my faith in the doctor, and with my faith in miracles, I was saved. I did not live through that simply because I had enough faith, I lived through that because the Lord, and only the Lord knows when it is time for us to return home to him. It was not my time. Every trial we endure here on earth, the Savior has felt, he took our sins and sorrows upon himself. The Atonement is for EVERYONE, not just those who have faith in him, not just those who live in the light of Christ. The Atonement is for the men and women sitting in jails for unthinkable sins, it is for the perpetrators of hideous crimes, there is one thing I know for a fact is that HE loves everyone. He is disappointed, just as a parent is when a child makes a choice not appealing or wrong, he is sad when we do not kneel in prayer everyday and say Hi, there is always HOPE for every single soul, none of us are better than others in his eyes, he loves us all the same.
When it is time for me or any of us to go home to HIM, it is because HE is in control, it has nothing to do with how much faith we have.