Chronic neuropathic pain affects about 20% of woman who have breast cancer, and used TAXOL as chemo treatment. Guess who has it? It has been really difficult for me to sit down and blog, because my fingers are numb sometimes... from the neuropathy, and my legs, feet and back are in constant pain. I called the doctor today about it, I was advised that chronic neuropathy in breast cancer patients does not go away. However, I talked to someone who had it and she told me hers eventually went away. I am hopeful that the Lord will bless me just one more time and allow the pain to leave my body.
Many people have asked me how it feels, it is difficult to explain, my bones and muscles just ache 24/7. When it hurts the worst I cannot even walk without the pain penetrating my mind, body and soul. There has been so many times that I have been in a fetal position on my bed crying because of the pain, Eric rubs my legs, but the truth is I am not supposed to get my legs or back massaged because it can cause blood clots. Even when he rubs my legs it is only temporary relief, as soon as he stops, the pain begins so I guess that is not a solution either. I have been given pain medicine, they are narcotics and they do take the pain away however, I know I cannot be on those for the rest of my life. I try the natural oils and some other options but that does not help either. It truly is the worse pain I have had to endure on a long term basis, it is hard to deal with when I know it is not going away any time soon, I would love if the doctor would say "OK allow it a couple of weeks after chemo, then it will leave". I asked the doctor if I would be able to run again or exercise again, she said "most people are OK with just walking a little everyday" Well I wanted to say " I am not most people lady, so just watch what I can do."
I will run again someday, I will cycle again someday and I will do all the cardio and lifting weights again, this is just temporary and this pain just helps to remind me of how hard I need to still fight to get my body healthy again and be the athlete again that I was. It would be easy to give up and say that I will never be able to do those things again, but I will I know I will.
Seeing growth
2 years ago
4 comments:
Monya, My thoughs are alway with you. I know you will win this battle.
That doctor does not know who he is dealing with. You are a strong woman, a fighter, a go-getter, not one to be told how it is.... THIS will have you up and running as soon as it is time. We need to jump on hotel beds again..and we will. :)
xoxo,
Jenster
It is always good for the medical field to be surprised...and you're just the gal to do it......you will get better and better....does swimming or walking in the pool help? I just thought it might be a good place to start....fire up the heat on the pool and see what happens...love you and am so glad the chemo is over...it is so nasty!
It only gets better now!
Monya- you are an amazing person, that is the only thing that comes to my mind when I read your blog. I feel like i keep up on whats going on a little, but I wish i could come over and take the pain and just let you have the day. I love you and my thoughts are always with you.
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