Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Timing is EverythingšŸš©

I'll never forget the day we got home from taking Blake to the MTC,  (Mission Training Center) September 23rd, 2009 I went in his room sat on the bed and cried.  I have a lot of faith but to be quite honest I wasn't sure what my future would be, or if I would have the opportunity to hold and hug my son ever again.  I know for him it must of been so difficult to leave.  I worried night and day about him, wanting him to have a successful mission without worry or stress about me.  Now I understand why the Lord has order and precision, things are more clear than ever before-  TIMING IS EVERYTHING-  Most boys leave on their mission when they turn 19, my Blake was not ready, it broke my heart at the time.  I now know the Lord is in full control of all we endure and HE understands more than we realize.  Blake made the decision to leave when he was 21, all of his friends who left at age 19 were just getting home from their missions.  Only 6 weeks before he left I found out I had breast cancer, during that time I remember thinking "this is the worst timing ever"  when I look back on that time, I realize now how much I needed to learn, TIMING truly is EVERYTHING... 
I know with all my heart and soul I am alive because my son chose to serve the Lord, if it weren't for his service and Recker's love,  I think I would of checked out a long time ago. When I look back at the last 2 years of our lives, I can see the blessings, oh so many blessings, tears run down my face as I think about what the Lord has blessed us with.  My son, my hero I love him so much.  He endured the last 2 years with strength and reliance on the Lord to help him through some tough days and nights.
Tonight I am sitting on his bed writing this blog- so many emotions are running through my head--he will sleep here tomorrow night, he will kneel and pray here in this room where I have knelt and prayed so many times for him to be safe, for him to not worry about me or what is going on at home, so many pleas to the Lord in his behalf have been in this very room.  Looking around I see scriptures sitting on his night stand--my scriptures the ones I have studied.  The Preach My Gospel book  is  right next to my scriptures, the pages are tattered a bit from me turning pages trying my hardest to learn the Christlike Attributes, reading every scripture I could get my hands on about faith, hope, charity, love, virtue, knowledge, patience, humility, diligence and obedience.   Boy, I have along way to go before I a can say I have mastered even one of those attributes.  Yes I believe TIMING IS EVERYTHING .... it's now time for Blake to come home, be with his family and start his life--I know he must have some mixed emotions too.  I have been dreaming of the hug I will get from him, praying that my health would be good enough to greet him at the airport without him being disappointed or discouraged.   He made it through, I made it through,  we all got through 2 years that I would not trade for anything in the world.  The knowledge I have of our Saviors Love for me and my family has been strengthened ten fold, I have said it so many times, I KNOW HE LIVES.   I am so thankful to my friends, family and to the Lord for lifting me up on the days when I thought tomorrow would never come.... now as I pick up my scriptures to walk out his bedroom door, I am closing it like a chapter in my life is over, but opening it to walk towards a bright and beautiful future.
P.S. another reminder of Timing--exactly 2 years ago tomorrow I was in Mayo Hospital having a radical mastectomy and being told my cancer had spread--and now we celebrate.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

LDS Missionaries Coming Home Mix

Next week I will be getting my 1st hug--One Week from today--Thank you Norm Watkins for sending this video I loved it and cried like a baby.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Careful what you wish for

I dream about running in a marathon--sounds crazy I know, but I do and I have for years.  I have always been an athlete.  When I was diagnosed with cancer I was training for my 1st marathon--it was so hard not only to get the diagnosis but to have to give up running, cycling, kick boxing and lifting weights.  Tonight I went to a kick boxing class--it kicked my behind end, at one point I seriously thought I was going to throw up.  The funny thing about this story is as we were cooling down I listened to the words to the song that was playing--it said "be careful what you wish for, it just might come true" I got the biggest smile on my face--my body was allowing me to do what I never thought I would be able to do again.   I'm not sure I will ever be able to do push ups like I used to do--with the lymph nodes being gone it was very painful I did what I could (not much) Tonight I'm grateful.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Poem to my Son-BlakešŸš©

Today is Blake's 23rd birthday--I just sent  through email this poem I wrote for him--I've never written a poem and don't know that I ever will again-but this is how I really feel.  I don't like to use the word PROUD but I kinda am, this boy is now a man, knowing he was out serving helped me get through some really tough days and months--

When you turned nineteen, and decided not to go
 my heart ached for what you didn't know.

Times were rough, and thoughts weren't clear
deep inside I was glad you were still here.

Dad and I raised you in the Church,  saying
"where will you go?"
your answer to us was "NO"

I prayed morning and night, wanting
everything to be just right.

I'll never forget the day of your call
it was such a shock to us all,
seems you too had been praying and preparing.

Tears of joy filled my eyes, for now I knew
and could empathize-

You would go out and tell
of Heavenly Fathers Plan
and how Adam fell.

When my diagnosis returned positive for cancer
 I cried "no, this can't be"
I wanted a different answer.

You were given a blessing that said
"your mom will be here"
then I begged the Lord to take away your fear.

The day I hugged you good-bye,
I wasn't quite sure how I'd get by.

As I felt my heart explode in my chest,
I knew it was time to let the Lord do the rest.

Every letter,  Christmas and Mother's day
there was so much to say,
 you were serving the Lord,  and it made me  glad
to hear you so happy for good days and bad

Now those two years have gone so fast,
soon you will be home with us at last.

Our family has been so blessed, you have
served with honor and done your best.

When people ask me "how did you survive your fight?"
I look at them and say "because I have a son who chose
to share HIS light"

I love you Elder Blake Williams-Happy Birthday


Sunday, September 11, 2011

Heaven - 9/11 Tribute - 10 years

From Boy to Man-BlakešŸš©

Blake wrote this letter to us recently, Eric and I were really touched by how much he has sacrificed,  it's hard as a mother to know some of the conditions he has lived in, however, to hear him say he loves it, he loves the Dominican people, and to know he can see good in sometimes dreary conditions makes my heart melt.   He has gone from boy to man, I really never thought he was rough around the edges, but hearing him grow as much as he has in two years I realize how much refining and smoothing he has done.  

I've been thinking about  the time I have left  here in this country it has really come to be part of me I mean I really consider myself one of them. I love these people and I really honestly am going to miss them soo much, even the people that dont want to listen to us or the dogs that always chase and bark at us, or the random drunk man thats always there to talk to. Even the things i dont like, i am going to miss soo much, like when there is no light in the whole town for 24 hours having to go to sleep drowning in your own sweat being eaten by mosquitos, when theres no water to shower before you leave the house, or no light to iron your shirt before church or when, no one is in their houses the whole day not even the members to give you some water or juice, and then it starts to pour down rain, these are the things i rally am going to miss, i love this country and i will always say it is MY country....

I am so grateful to be in the best misison in the whole world, with the best mission president in the whole world

This week the things have been a little different after the hurricane, it took out a hotel right on the beach here and ruined this street the place got pretty flooded in places here which is crazy cuz here it never rains its like a desert here, its the first area i have been in where it kinda reminds me of home, cuz there are cactus here haha.

This week has been pretty good i think i gave my last talk in the mission this last week, so it was 830 in the morning on sunday and we were preparing ourselfs to leave and go pick up this investigator and the branch president calls and tells me to prepare a talk for church and i said that its fine ill do it cuz i thought at first it was for the next week but then like 15 minutes later it got to me so i called him and asked if it was for this sunday or the next and he said this sunday, and said to make sure its long cuz my mission president was going to be there so he tells me 30 minutes before church when im already in the street to church that i have to talk, but its fine thats just another thing that i really am going to miss it went really well they told us that the chapel is going to be remodeled and that we will be moving into a little house for a 5 or 6 months. We are going to baptize this guys named Alvelino in a few weeks hes has 8 years with the missionaries and his wife is a memberthat has her endowments and shes tried and tried and so have the misisonaries so we have been working hard with him and we put a date for him so we will be baptizing him a week or so before i got home i cant wait to see the look on his face and his wifes face when he gets baptized, this is one of the things i am going to miss the most is seeing the lifes of people change

con mucho amor

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Blake's IteneraryšŸš©

Saying Goodbye was so hard Sept 23rd 2009
I wish I could bottle up this feeling I have right now---I'm in Mexico I opened up my email and had gotten a little itinerary from Salt Lake City saying--Elder Blake Williams will be home in the US of A sky harbor airport on September 28th at 5:25 pm--not only did I do a little dance by myself in my kitchen--I smiled from ear to ear and even let out a few "oh yeah's he's finally coming home" with my hands in he air...I know this is bitter sweet for him, but it's ALL SWEET to me.... I miss him so much and I literally dream of that first hug, nothing I can write will even come close to explaining the feelings in my heart---I think it's time for some SUGAR--