Friday, July 29, 2011

YALE Hospital with Recker

Just finished up a 3 day trip with Kayla Recker and Jeremy.  We were at the YALE Hospital research center for Autism.  Recker went through quite a bit of testing, he was so good and patient, especially with the time change from Arizona to Connecticut his sleeping pattern was completely off and he was extremely tired throughout the testing.  I was able to observe him through a one way mirror as they put him through some intense tests.   He yawned and jabbered as they asked him to do tasks, the reason for this was to test his ability to communicate without speaking and what level of understanding he actually has--they also did a speech test,  there are no right or wrong answers here--just testing to see what kind of therapy will be best for him--one of the things I loved was how positive all the doctors and therapist were,  they focus only on what he CAN do and stayed away from what he can't, just gave us some things to work on with him this next year until he returns.  The last test they did on him was a genetics test, he had to give his blood--I stayed in the waiting area knowing I would not be able to handle it, still Kayla and I could here him, it was not fun to listen to.  He wanted to rip the Band-Aid off--we let him-- after all they are annoying, I can't stand to have a Band-Aid in the crease of my arm.
The test results will be back in a few weeks until then--life is so happy with this little guy.

Woody was on Mine and Reckers bed when we got back to the Hotel

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


A person I work with said this to me the other day "Hey, are your boobs lopsided because of your mastectomy?"  I was so embarrassed, especially since it was not a question about breast cancer, it was a question asked in front of 6 or 8 other co-workers about something I have not really cared about, until now. My eyes welled up with tears and I had no immediate response, I just quickly sat in my chair and said "yeah, I guess so" It was difficult for me to finish out my shift without thinking about it.  I text my friend Heather (she works with Dr. PK and has been with me since my diagnosis) when I told her what happened, she was so sweet and kind.  Heather told me not worry about it, and that I am a beautiful woman, she said "maybe they are jealous" I laughed and said "It was a guy"   Now that I've had a few days to ponder it, and take a good look at myself in the mirror--no "they" are not perfect--Dr.  Peter Kreymerman said perfection is not going to be achieved.  Now I kinda wish I could go back to that person and say "they are not perfect, but I'm ALIVE ..... and to me that is perfection"  I really don't think this person was trying to be rude, it hurt to hear, but gave me a chance to reflect.  Does it really matter if we are lopsided?  So many times in my life I have felt a little lopsided physically and spiritually.  I just have to get focused again and remember what is most important, balance in everything is not always going to be achieved however, we always have tomorrow to get back on track, I love that the Lord loves us lopsided or not.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Las Vegas Nationals

I made a last minute decision and flew to Las Vegas for Dance Nationals..... yes dance.  My girls danced for so many years and every year during the summer we would pack up and go to Nationals.  This year I decided to go watch all by myself, it was amazing how much more I enjoyed it, I loved to watch my girls dance but being there without any stress or hurry was  so much more relaxing.  Kaitlyn and Brian were in Las Vegas for the 1st night I was there, we had fun shopping together.  The last 2 days I have spent with Mysti, & Timmy Brown--loved, loved, loved watching the choreography talents of Taylor Brown and the beautiful girls and dancers Bryton and Ivy have turned into--I love the Brown family--Mysti has always been a loyal, sweet and giving friend.  I really don't particularly love Las Vegas, in fact it is the last place on earth I would choose to go if given a choice....I stayed in the competition the entire time except to eat--there is just not a peaceful feeling in Vegas, I know a lot of people love it here, but it's not for me I almost feel like a fish out of water, I don't gamble, I don't drink and I am definitely not a party girl ---I think I'm kinda boring--ha ha ha
Taylor Myself and Ivy
breakfast with Frank and Susan Brown ♥
Susan, Me and Bryton
Ivy and B

Me and Mysti

You smell good Mysti

she has no idea I'm a weirdo

Saturday, July 9, 2011

✭Celebrating our Freedom God Bless the USA ✮

My cute Hales and I
✭Kayla and I✭

✭Me and Kaitlyn✭
✭Recker, Jeremy and Kayla Roussel✭
✭Eric getting a little crazy in the streets of Mexico✭

✭Chasen and Eric Dancing✭

✭chasen, michael, shelby madison halcomb✭
✭Sand on my towel-thanks Reck✭

✭Recker loves Mango✭

✭Me and Hales✭
✭Recker loves the Ocean and Laffy Taffy✭

✭Recker fell asleep in the Pool with Eric✭
✭Brian and Kaitlyn✭
✭Greg and Lindsey Smart✭
The past few years we have celebrated the 4th of July down in Mexico ✭ Probably seems kinda strange to be celebrating an American Holiday in another country, but we absolutely love it  and it's always a huge celebration ✭ The Halcombs are good friends of ours,  they too like to celebrate in Mexico so we always have a big bar b que with them, play volleyball, soccer, and of coarse the homerun derby ✭ by the way Teresa and I tied for 1st place this year ✭ those youngsters have nothing on us old women.  This year we had 13 people in our condo--Kayla, Jeremy, Recker, Skyler, Jessica, Kaitlyn, Brian, Lindsey, Greg, Haleigh and Emily ✭ Eric and I too ✭

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Just Breathe

Eric and I drove down to Mexico a couple of days ago, I love having alone time with him we laugh a lot, we even cry sometimes together, life is good when I'm with him I feel safe.  This morning as I ran (yes I ran)  on the beach the sun was just coming up and the cool ocean breeze was hitting me in the face, I had an emotional moment thinking about the journey I've been on.  On the way I saw some foot prints in the sand and decided to follow them, I could tell it was a runner by the imprint.  Sometimes in Mexico when the water goes out it leaves ripples in the sand--these are hard to run on because it is very uneven I always fear I am going to twist my ankle,  when I saw the foot imprints I decided to follow them I could see that this runner knew where to step without twisting an ankle. I followed the prints all the way to the wall -- (a couple miles)  it made me think of the people in my life who led the way for me, who have been examples to me, the ones who taught me the gospel.  Stan Johnson was my seminary teacher and I learned how to pray to the Lord for help and answers, I also learned how to read the scriptures and love them he taught me life lessons that I still use, I will forever be grateful to him.  As I ran I thought about young women's leaders who paved the way for me,  their examples of faith taught me to have HOPE.  I found myself searching for my foot imprint on the way back so that I could just retrace my steps, to my surprise there were no imprints to follow--I realized I was on my own and I was in some rough sand trudging along, my pace was slowing down and I was really struggling to breath, soon I saw my imprint in the sand, next to my step was  baby footprinst--boy that brought me back to my 20's, having children learning how to balance life with children I sometimes got distracted and felt alone, without having a mother to lean on, I looked to women in my life who had already raised their children, maybe I could learn somethings from them, Debbie Slade became an incredible friend to me, I watched Cindy Packard for an example of strength and endurance, Carolei Phelps was a soft and gentle mother I wanted to be more like that,  they probably have no idea that I watched them for an example, they inspired me to try harder and endure a little longer.   I suddenly realized I was running on some rocks-or maybe they were coral whatever it was it shook me out of those memories and into the present--I turned and looked behind me--I've come a long way but up ahead I have so much further to go--my feet where sinking into the sand and now I was struggling to keep up--just like in life I have been through times when I feel like I am sinking and that maybe I can't make it hoping for some smooth packed sand, it started to rain on my already difficult conditions and I thought to myself "this is perfect" the waters are rough, waves are strong, the sand is sinking me and the  wind is blowing against my body.  Just when I thought it couldn't get worse I feel the sun peak up and say "hello", the warm on my back put a smile on my face--just like the light of Christ in my life, at times when I have felt defeated and weighed down I know I can get on my knees, get some answers and continue on just as I looked up I could see my finish line for the day-a song by Carrie Underwood came on my IPOD temporary home as I listened to the words, tears came to my eyes, what a great song to end my run with--my life has been filled with distractions, disapointment, failure, and unbelievable pain, however, I have loved, felt love, found joy, and discovered during all these rough times the Lord never left me--this life is all about learning and growing--this time on earth is just temporary this is not where we belong, it's just a stop on the way to where we're  all going,  now that I know that--I'm not afraid.