Cubs Make History

On November 2nd 2016 the Chicago Cubs made history.  106 year's have come and gone since the Cubbie's won a World Series.

Frenchie and I were on the edge of our seats watching the 7th game of the World Series. I told him I wonder how many people actually had a heart attack tonight--sounds crazy? Not really if you watched this history unfold before your eyes you know exactly what I am talking about.  Sports announcers, and social media made this fact very clear several times proclaiming if you have a heart condition you should use caution watching the game.

Going into overtime we watched as fans from both Chicago Cubs and Cleveland Indians were biting their nails, sitting on the edge of their seats, covering their eyes and some watching with blinders on as they tuned out all worries of the world to see the ending of the great Bambino Curse.  A win for either side was going to make history Cleveland Indians have not had a win for over 60 years. Frenchie and I would have been happy for either team, but watching grown men cry, and embrace each other was touching and gave hope for people to NEVER GIVE UP.

As with all games, there has to be a winner and a loser.  I knew with thousands of people watching half would leave very happy and half would leave very sad-but all would leave completely exhausted as they cheered on their team.  Knowing Dr. Kreymerman is from Cleveland I began texting him-needless to say he went to bed disappointed.  I was very impressed with the classy response from the Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona-who has never lost a World Series Game -- he gave a very compelling speech in congratulating the winning Cubs team.

Days after the game ended Chicago Cubs fans across the nation are celebrating I imagine they will be honoring this win for years to come.  Frenchie and I attend the spring training games every year here in Arizona-with that being said....Arizona for the most part are all Cubbies fans.  They maintained a 'never give up' demeanor throughout the entire season and it paid off--Congratulations are an understatement-they deserved to feel proud and grateful for this historical win.

The Winning Game Was Played In Cleveland-
But Wrigley Field In Chicago Was Full of Cubs Fans

Captivating Moments

Final Score

History

Disneyland 2016

I had a wonderful time sharing Disneyland with Kaitlyn-Brian-Phoenix--Blake-Chloe-Wesley--and Haleigh and Scott--

My legs were so heavy and in pain most of the time, but it was well worth the memories we made. I only wish Kayla-Jeremy-Recker-Ezra and Theo could have been there with us.

Haleigh and Phoenix mesmerized by the parade

During the parade

Phoenix loves Woody

I love my family

Kaitlyn Brian and of course Phoenix

Cousins

Blake and Chloe are the perfect match--ask Wesley

I love this ride--it gives so much HOPE for our world

I couldn't believe I caught this picture with
no one walking through.

My girls-Kaitlyn-Chloe and Haleigh

Blake and Brian-the competition is on
to see who could spin the fastest.

I love Mickey

Phoenix and Wesley loved the parade

Wesley- the princess among our prince's

Brian and Phoenix--

I loved this, the maintenance man made this with
the leaves that had fallen from the trees.

Phoenix and Mommy watching the light show

The Art Of Being Happy

I'm so glad I attended the 1st Festival of Positive Education this past week.  I had to evaluate whether this would be a good idea or not, given I just had surgery and still have a drain hanging from my head.  Dr. Lettieri thought it was ok when I told him I was going. Boy am I glad I went, nothing quite compares to being in a room with others who share my same interest in making the world a better place, by teaching our children to love one another and themselves.

China

Mexico

I was shocked at how many people came from other countries to be involved with this positive movement towards happiness.  Dubai, Africa, Australia, Belgium, Bhutan, Brazil, Canada, Chile, China, Columbia, Finland, Germany, Greece, Iceland, India, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Japan, Jordan, Mexico, Napal, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Philippeans, Portugal, Slovakia, Spain, Turkey, U.K., USA, Singapore and Switzerland. That is a lot of countries included in the Global representation.  Well at least I was impressed!

Our country, the world as a whole is in turmoil right now.  This is a Presidential election year in the United States and while I can't speak for everyone, a majority of people are perplexed and undecisive about who they should vote for.  I usually agree and vote republican, but over the the last few years I've tried to listen with a silent voice trying to discern right from wrong, now I realize we are choosing good from evil.   Maybe our politicians should be attending the IPENfest.

One thing I learned is to practice like an expert, be deliberate in all you do.  Focusing 100% in the moment of what you are doing at the time is essential to accomplishing pure joy and happiness.  Talent matters, but those are not necessarily the people who show up, it doesn't matter what your talents are if you can't show up and be present in the moment.  When we allow our lights to shine on other people we are creating a ripple towards positive mindsets.

Sir Anthony Seldon

Martin Seligman--

Shawn Achor

When my children were very young I took them to a park most Sunday's after church, I learned an incredible lesson one day as I walked hand in hand with my son; he was only five or six years old at the time.  We went home after church and changed our clothes, my children were ready to feed the ducks. I was ready for a nap; needless to say they won me over and we went to the park.  My mind was not at the park, I was thinking about everything I needed to do when we got home.  We brought a blanket and a loaf of bread to sit and feed the ducks.  Blake wanted to take a walk, and so we did. Hand in hand we all walked.  Like most young children Blake was curious about the outside world. Imagine my perspective when he started saying things like this

Oh look at that rock

Wow that duck is hungry

Why are the trees so green?

Mommy, did you hear that bird?

The wind feels soft on my cheeks

That is a cool garbage can (it was pink)

The lesson I learned on that very simple light hearted walk was amazing and something I have taken with me throughout the rest of my life.  Children don't care about how many calories we are burning while we are walking, or that his hair was messed up and clothes unmatched.  He didn't care because he chose them, it's what he wanted to wear and he did.  I wrote in my journal that night, today I was not prepared to be Amazed by a child; yet I was.

What makes us change our perspectives? Look for the positive? I've tried and failed so many times at being 'in the moment' then I'm reminded of this walk and remember 'I can change at that moment; I have choices.' There was so much clarity on that day as we strolled along the lake at Freestone Park.

As times moves forward each new chapter or journey in our life is a chance to be renewed, take on a positive perspective and make adjustments where needed. We sometimes need to take a brain break; train ourselves with mindful awareness through our senses; touch, sound, sight and yes taste.  Treat yourself once in awhile to a simple piece of chocolate, just don't indulge in the entire bar. Savor those moments in time we seem to want to move so quickly through.

One of the powerful lessons I learned at the IPENfest came from Martin Seligman. He said "Pessimism is a risk factor for depression, as smoking is to lung cancer."  Wouldn't it be nice if we could diminish depression while our children are in elementary school by teaching positive education? Children need to learn the art of being happy before they hit puberty.  In fact I would say they need to learn it before they turn the age of five, those first five years of life are detrimental for learning and soaking up like a sponge what happiness is.  This starts in our homes, then should filter into our schools. Boy had I learned this as a child I would be far better off.

I loved each and every class that was available for me to learn from but I think the person I took the most from was Sir Anthony Seldon.  He talked about depression, the demons he battled in the 1970's trying to get himself out of the space of depression and anxiety.  I could relate to everything he talked about, I too have suffered from depression and learned a new way of dealing with anxieties. He talked about his wife who has incurable cancer living with this type of disease is extremely stressful on the entire family....yes, I know.  I wanted to talk to him one on one, so during his book signing I waited until the line was gone and he was sitting by himself.  I asked him how or if  mindful happiness has helped his wife deal with her diagnosis. He spoke very softly, which was very much different than his presentation -where he seemed to have a 'bigger than life' personality, but now we were talking perspectives on the same level.  He had a sacredness about him while talking to me. He didn't actually answer my question directly, but said they pray a lot.  He could see the drain I was trying to disguise in my shirt...(it actually looks like a 'third boob' as Dr. Lettieri described it) and asked

"And what is your diagnosis dear?" I loved his english accent.

"I started with breast cancer in 2009....." and with a brief few sentences I gave him the gist of what was happening in my world.

We shared the same emotions in that moment of tears; an understanding that both cancer patient and care givers are brave and live in a world no one else can comprehend unless they've 'been there.' Yes, happiness is a choice and I believe we can control our thoughts and feelings by being in the moment however he and I both agreed on another theory.  Trying to be happy every second of every day is difficult, it takes training and complete awareness.  Life and tragedy happens if not to you yet, it will be knocking on your door eventually; how will you deal with it?  Our theory is that even when life 'happens' it's ok to be sad, mad, anxious and scared those are natural God given tendencies, it's how we deal with the problem that really matters more than the actual diagnosis.

My awareness was heightened to a new level as I learned from the best positive psychologist and scientist in the world.  I am so glad I took the time, got out of my own world and went to this festival of happiness.

Abundant Blessings

Today a whirlwind of emotions over powered me and allowed me to reconnect with what is really important in my life.  Kayla came by with the boys, Recker is now 6 and a half years old.  He is non-verbal but I believe he knows exactly what we are talking about, he has emotions and feelings. He came in and hugged me, I said "I love you" and in his own way he showed me he loves me too. Then little Ezra hugged and kissed me. I said "I love you" he replied "I l@#$% you" interpreted it says "I love you too" he now says Bon Bon, Papa, all the families names, mom and dad he will also repeat anything we ask him to.....he is trying so hard.  I took them all to lunch enjoying every moment I had with them. Kayla is 9 months pregnant, she will be giving birth to her 3rd son our 4th grandson.  Ezra is so cute he smiles and laughs at everything and everyone.  On his hand he had a happy face and a sad face drawn I asked him what they were he said "Happy" and smiled really big with his huge cheeks I wanted to squeeze. Then he pointed to the sad face and said "Sad" and quickly showed me his sad face. "Very good Ezra, which emotion do you feel now?" "I happy" I left them feeling blessed with these special boys Heavenly Father has entrusted our family with.  I say sincere prayers daily asking the Lord to help me know as a grandmother how I can better understand how to love them and help them.
When I arrived home Blake was getting Weslie out of his car, happy thoughts rushed through my body.  I hoped I could spend some time with both of them.  I of course immediately grabbed Weslie, she is absolutely beautiful. When Blake let to go get food for he and Chloe who would soon be arriving I took Weslie in my arms and sang her a song I used to sing to Recker when he was her age.

I love you Weslie,
Oh yes I do.
I love you Weslie
Oh yes I do
When you're not near me I'm blue
Oh Weslie I love you.

I walked and rocker her for several minutes singing over and over the same words, when she finally fell asleep on my chest I laid down with her on the sofa. Examining every inch of the miracle straight from Heaven.  Her eyelashes perfectly shaped, long and lush. I could feel her heart beat on my mine the smell of her skin angelic.  An enormous amount of pride rushed through my body thinking about Blake, Chloe and Weslie they are a cute family.  Watching Chloe mothering little Weslie is so refreshing I love her as a daughter, I consider her my daughter.  Watching Blake being so involved as a father warmed my heart. Tears fell from my eyes, I have so many blessing to be grateful for. Nothing else in the world mattered at that moment. I was in awe.

I've wanted to transition the toy room we have upstairs to the downstairs room---this is a huge undertaking for me.  Still recovering from my last surgery has been slower but I really want to get this change done. I began by going through all the pictures and separating them out. In the mess I found several letters from my mother.  Now that she has passed on those letters are read by me in a different context. I believe she and I were trying to resolve a difficult situation however, seeing it from different perspectives  was difficult for both of us.  I feel good about the way I handled the delicate situation, just reading these old letters dredged up some old emotions I was not prepared for. I quit reading the letters realizing she is gone now and there is nothing I can do to bring her back. Heavenly Father is in charge and he will deal with this perfectly I have no doubt when it's my time to leave this earth the Lord will have this taken care of, take me in his arms and say I love you.

I rummaged through some letters from Blakes mission, he always has a way of putting me back in the right frame of mind. He really was a great missionary. Then I found a book Kaitlyn wrote about her brother she couldn't have been more than six or seven years old.  She illustrated the book with her and Blake on bike rides going to the Library and then to water and ice...the illustration showed them bicycling and her yelling out to him "Hey wait up" Her sincere love for her brother came out when she said how much she loved him over and over, and also how grateful she was to have such a 'cool' big brother. My heart was again swelled to capacity, I was never the 'perfect' mom but my children turned out perfectly beautiful to me.

To end my night tonight I read a talk given by a religious leader Elder Neal A. Maxwell--the title of his talk was Enduring Well.  I came to the conclusion it is impossible for me to completely understand.  Because I believe there is an Atonement of Christ it makes it easier to comprehend why suffering and trials are about trusting in God to keep his promises.

"Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass 

through us in ways that sanctify us."

I have been stretched at times in my life to the point of doubting my Faith and Hope in difficult times.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh wisely cautioned: "I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning. understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable." 

I have allowed trials to pass through me and sanctify me in ways I never thought I had the ability to endure.  We all suffer in our lives, but do we mourn those trials, do we go forward with patience hoping for the Lord's hands to guide us through?  I believe I have been open and honest with my entire life, my book is going to expose truth in trials and how I have allowed those spooks to over power my life..I am so grateful for those hardships and enduring them with grace it has allowed me to grow, love others and serve unconditionally.  I have not regrets, I love my life. 

Living in the Moment

Practicing living in the moment has been an intentional goal for my everyday living.  I have to  remind myself daily of the reward.  I've heard it takes 21 days to break a habit so I'm assuming it also takes 21 days to form a habit.
Today I will be seeing my surgeon Dr. Lettieri.  The last surgery I had on Thursday took me a little longer to recover from, purging my body of all the anesthesia is draining. Getting up and walking to the bathroom is about as far as I can go, even then I am wobbly, shaky and nauseated. On Sunday I was finally able to eat something, however it tasted of metal.
I feel like the world is hastily passing by just outside my bedroom door.  I'm praying Dr. Lettieri will take out the stitches and close the open wound on my neck.  The skin graft he took was from another area on my neck and those stitches seem to be healing well.
It's hard for me to comprehend that I have gone under general anesthesia 34 times in less than 6 years. Each time the healing takes longer and seems to weigh down my spirit.  I want so badly for all these surgeries to be over.  I believe now that this nasty infection is under control we can finally get going with the important issue of the nerve--yes, there will be more surgery; and I will endure.

My view from pre-op

Heidi my pre-op nurse--these nurse are always so sweet to me

This is what it looks like now, after surgery.
I see some bruising on my temple next to my
eye...I always wonder what the heck happens
during surgery to cause these bruises.

My life is so different now, I've learned patience and empathy for other's during the past few years. I've also learned what is truly important in life, family first, then friends who truly love me for who I am.  I've had to let go of a friend who I sincerely thought would be with me from beginning to end. I simply do not want anyone in my life who cannot be authentic.  Friendships are wonderful but when they become complicated and draining--I'm out! I refuse to waste precious time with people who do not reciprocate the same feelings.  I choose happy, with that being said I am not perfect and do need to say "I'm sorry" at times.  Part of the reason I have not allowed too many people into my life is the fear of being rejected or hurt.  I'm so over that now, I know who loves me and who cares I've learned to discern good from toxic.

This brings me back to the initial reason for making this post, living in the moment. I truly believe we are the equivalent of the few friends we associate most with.  If I kept myself in worry constantly wondering if I am offending someone I'm not being in the moment.  Spontaneously giving service to those around me on a daily basis, strangers who I will never see again have given me more satisfaction and clarity of the direction I want my life to go.  Living in the moment allows me to flow through life daily intentionally looking for ways to better myself by seeing the needs of others.

My Happiness Experiment

 I've always wondered why so many people who work in a customer service atmosphere whether through, text, an actual phone call or face to face; can have such lack of empathy. 

I've worked in the Airline Industry for over 30 years now.  Currently I work for American Airlines (formerly UsAirways formerly America West Airlines) Through the years of working with the general public I've learned to be a problem solver.  Yes, I've been called every name in the book. 

Many times I try hard to keep from laughing when a snow storm keeps a passenger from getting from point A to point B they are furious because the planes are obviously grounded for take off.  I can appreciate the frustration however God is in charge of the weather not American Airlines.  Finding some balance with people is sometimes a challenge especially when voices are raised and tears are falling. My heart usually reaches out and I am able to help them understand the reality of their situation. It's not always the ending they were expecting but showing a little understanding for their inconvenience whether American Airlines has a maintenance issue or nature decides to rear her nasty head of rain, snow or sleet it helps them feel validated.  

Today instead of ending my calls with "Thank you for calling American Airlines have a good day" I chose to say "Thank you for calling American Airlines, I hope you have a Happy Day!" In making a conscious effort to do this the cadence in not only my voice changed but the passengers noticed from the moment I answered their call.  In my job I have heard every heartbreaking story, every white lie and excuse in the book.  Today was no different, I just chose to hear things with a smile on my face. Call after call each and every passenger made a comment about my positive attitude, they thanked me for listening, apologized for attacking me and I hung up feeling happy myself.  I was less stressed, full of energy and excited to do it again tomorrow.

When I started working in the airline industry I was a totally different person than I am now in fact I am a different woman than I was two years ago.  I shutter when I think about how many times those heartfelt stories went on deaf ears as they would explain the tragic death of a child, husband, wife mom, dad, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin etc.  I was so much about the business at hand I forgot to take into consideration these are real live people with real problems.  Perspectives have changed, today a woman started to cry when  I asked how I could assist her.  She proceeded to make arrangements for her son who would be flown home from the war--in a body bag--I tried hard to keep the tears from falling but was unsuccessful.  Her choice of words was shocking to me, however the pain in her voice was something I will not soon forget.  So, do I say "have a good day?" or "have a happy day?" Neither, because I knew the trauma she was experiencing I asked her if there was anything, anything at all left I could do to make this easier for her.  Her response was, "You were the person I needed to talk to today.  Thank you for listening."  It was a simple reply to a complicated relm of emotions she was feeling.

I had choices today, lots of choices.  I'm happy with the ones I made.  I promised this mother I would be thinking about the sacrifice her son made on Memorial Day in just a couple of weeks and hoped she would feel some relief knowing he was serving his country. 

Happiness is a choice, but I also believe we all have a triggers within us that can cause an uproar of emotions, they can cancel out any feelings of joy.  It would be inappropriate to be happy and jubilant with the death of a child or family member.  Having the knowledge of hope for a brighter tomorrow helps me to flow through difficult emotions, I've learned to literally feel the emotion but not allow myself to invest or linger in the immediate sorrow for more than necessary.  Losing a child, divorcing, being diagnosed with a terminal disease, having a child with a special need these are just a few examples of life altering situations and will surely take time to process and learn from.  My hope is that the people who are experiencing these hardships will take the time they need to mourn, get mad, be sad, feel fear, anxiety and depression then pick themselves up, don't look back and never ever give up on the living.

Post-op With Dr. Lettieri

On Thursday March 31st I entered Maricopa County Hospital for my post op to the surgery I had on Monday March 28th. I felt good, had no idea what was about to come out of his mouth. " We are going to admit you in for an immediate surgery it looks like things have made a turn for the worst" The surgery was not long but I was not expecting to be headed to surgery so had driven myself. Frenchie left to take care of some maintenance issues on the condos in Mexico and would not return until Friday night. I wanted him to enjoy his time away, as he loves to visit Mexico and I know this would be an in an out procedure there was no need to alarm him if not necessary,  I quickly sent a text out to all of my children asking them if any of them would be available to pick me up after an unexpected surgery but to please not tell their father. I knew he would rush home only to be waiting on me when he could be enjoying the cool breeze of the ocean. Of course this escalated into a full blown major even when Blake decided to call his father and tell him what was going on, without actually knowing what was going on.  I ended up calling my sister Sonya and she was able to work out picking me up. She said Dr. Lettieri explained to her there was some infection to the peroded gland.  Sonya picked me up and drove me home where I rested for the rest of the day.

Sonya mention when Dr. Lettieri talked to her he told me the cut on my neck is an open wound, he stuffed it with antibiotic beads. I've never heard of them and have to admit I was curious; but I was told not take the bandaging off.  Last night  blood was dripping and causing the bandages to loosen up. I text Dr. Letieri and asked what to do, he said to keep it covered with an ACE bandages around my neck to keep everything sterilized.  It was never sterile, it dripped constantly their medicated bandage was falling off bit by bit, piece by piece....believe me it was not sterile.  One morning I was changing the dressing because it had so much blood, it was very difficult to keep it from leaking. The packaging and taping they used caused the sharp edges of the tape to gouge my neck.

Anti-Biotic Beads--they look like teeth

On Saturday I received a call informing me I would be back in surgery Monday April 4th (today) at 5:30 am. I'm not exactly sure what this surgery is for, maybe to take out the antibiotic beads
Dr. Lettieri place in the open wound on my neck, if that is the surgery it should be quick and I should be home to my comfy bed before noon. Giving me enough time to heal and be on a plane for St. Louis on Wednesday.

I was told when being released from the hospital exactly what I was suppose to do to keep this doozie clean.  It was stuffed with saline soaked gauze, then a dry gauze over that then wrap it up with an ACE bandage to keep it all sanitary and clean.  Pulling the gauze off was brutalizing. Not enough pain medicine could keep from wanting to scream out in pain. I soaked it with as much water as I could.the started to peel away the gauze it was dry and bloody.

now that is impressive

I text Dr. L to ask him if it was normal to feel throbbing pain, not be abel to turn my head one way or the other, and to barley be able to open my mouth....?  His text back was Yes it is normal, but you need to get some ibuprofen in your system then it will start feeling better.  Dr. Lettieri told me to keep the wound wet, clean and covered. He can't stitch this up until full recovery occurs.  I will see him next Monday.

My body has an awful time healing, I'm exhausted quite literally tired of surgery after surgery, weird diagnosis after another; it's time to live an abundant life free of pain, sorrow and exhaustion.  Within one week I have had three surgeries, scraping and cleaning out infection.

Different Not Less

IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH CURSE WORDS...DON'T READ THIS!!

Boy oh Boy, where to start.  The past 24 hours has been....well it's been eye opening.  1st off my book is well on it's way to being published.  I'm waiting now on little things like copyrights. This book writing stuff is serious business...not what I expected.

She's so cute, I love Weslie 

So yesterday I posted a picture of my new grand baby Weslie and I on Facebook. It was hard for me to post because of the way my face looked.  I take a look at myself everyday in the mirror,  I know what my face physically looks like. Most of the time I'm ok with the new look. I know doctor Lettieri is working hard to help me fight time with the nerve.  Realistically I'm completely aware my face will never, ever be the same but I find joy in the little changes I have been able to accomplish.  Sometimes I look at myself and feel sad or disgusted with what I see.  Then I tell myself I am beautiful, tell my lip to "move damn it" and go about my day.

When I got brave and posted an authentic picture of myself with Weslie, my mouth was not cooperating, neither was Weslies.  She had a crooked smile like mine, so I posted it with a sassy comment about she and I having the same smile.  Maybe I was trying to make other people feel better about what I knew they were seeing too.  I'm not sure but it was a monumental moment for me to finally be able to see it and say it like it is, I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable around me.

A man commented saying and I quote "You look like you're shitting yourselves" (excuse me I couldn't think of any other way to put it)  I'm so glad no one was here to see the reaction on my face when I realized what he wrote....I had to look at it several times to make sure I had read it correctly. I left my laptop went to the mirror and smiled, yep that's what people see! For the first time I was faced with the hurtful words of my reality.

I know the world can be a cruel place to live, but in my world I don't react the way this man did.  I was shocked and read it over and over again-then I cried, I cried like a baby.  I picked up the phone and called my sister Sonya, she of course thought I had been diagnosed with something new or perhaps someone I knew had died; that's how hard I was crying.  She soothed my pitiful heart, we hung up and I cried some more.  My friend Frank Filliapone text me a few wonderful accolades of kindness, to help me through the tears.  Danny Jones called at either the perfect time or the worst time possible....should I answer or not?  I did and tried to be a-ok, but again I started to sob. He was simply adorable and comforting with his words of encouragement. My friend Liz Decker text me too.  Then I had a Nerium meeting at my home, one that I have every Monday night.  I, again had to put on a 'happy' face and pretend everything was ok.  Inside I was dying, I couldn't stop thinking about every person in that room-what they see when they look at me.

On the playground as a child we heard "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" While this was a good childhood defense mechanism, words can and do hurt.  Sometimes the words said can linger long past the healing time of wounds of cuts and broken bones. Words can also cause pain that my never go away. They create an invisible scar that delicate people carry around their entire life. It's been proven that painful words can cause a lifetime of anxiety, anger, resentment and stress.  

In today's society we unfortunately live in a world much different than when I was a child. Social media is where the mean people can hide and sneak out every once in awhile to strike like a snake with venomous words. Sadly, it's not just children who suffer from cyber bullying and they don't just use name calling like we witnessed on the playground.  The internet and texting is used to hide behind, there now is a power people have to use hateful words they wouldn't dare to utter to someone in person or on the playground.  Some of the words are so hurtful and cruel they cause children and adults who have bright futures to turn to suicide to help escape the bullies.  

On the other side of the coin, the bright side, social media can also be used to spread messages of peace, love and happiness to the world. Kind words and posts on the walls of Facebook supporting one another, loving each other from afar can be supportive and actually nurturing to help people feel good about themselves.  We have the power within ourselves to build people up.  So often, people say something without thinking, I too have done this. Believing what we are saying is justified or they believe what they have to say is right or they think what they have to contribute is helpful.  

Sometimes silence is golden. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  Choosing words of kindness and sincerity are beautifully powerful. I'm not sure about you but I want to spread happiness.  Honestly, there are times I want to slap someone, I want to give them a piece of my mind; but I've learned through having life threatening scenarios happen in my life; those things just don't matter.  The person matters, however my opinion does not, and it doesn't do anything but open up a huge can of worms.

When I walk away, give myself some time to process and connect my head with my heart I believe I walk away a better person.  I learned something from this message yesterday, no matter how much I try to spread happiness there are always going to be serpents I cannot kill, but I can learn from it, remember how it felt and never ever do that to someone else.

Blaise Pascal said "Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured.  They also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is."  I choose to be someone who tries to make a beautiful image, one that unfortunately is not going to be a physical beauty, it is a beauty that will come from within me.

Both Liz and Danny left me with these words, go and write down as many things you can think of that you are grateful for.  I did that, and it helped it really helps because I have so much more to be grateful for than I do to be worried about.  The words of an obvious person who needs and desires attention through the expense of other people is really sad and sucked a lot of quality time out of me, time I could have spent on uplifting someone else.

I realized today, like my two grandson's with Autism we are different, not less.

#HappyActs 365 days

Whoa----I pushed myself today, but I've never felt more gratified.  365 days ago, when I found out about the International Day of Happiness--I was incredibly touched in a spiritually humble way.  I made a choice that day, I was going to do 365 days of Happy Acts and see if it would change my life in any way at all.  I began by writing everything I did in a private calendar.  Then I got a planner and made it an intentional goal for my everyday personal growth.  I had to be intentional with my thoughts, but not intentional with my actual act of kindness. I let those come naturally but looked for ways I could help another person.  After 6 weeks of doing it everyday, I was put into the hospital for 3 weeks, still I was able to follow through with those acts, they were on my mind constantly.  I became obsessed with overcoming obstacles and achieving this goal.  2 Weeks at Mayo Clinic, I came up with ways to help nurses or doctors out--sometimes just by thanking them using their name, and sincerely getting to know them. Smiles, special notes and gratitude were my best friends. I handed out Live Happy Magazines to everyone I could. Then I went to Cleveland Clinic for 7 weeks.  This time I went prepared, not knowing what the circumstances would be--I was still able to give thanks, and share happiness. In the past year I was blessed with 8 surgeries to help save my life.  What better way to say thank you?  These are people who loved, cared and helped me through some tough times....Diana Lents I will forever be grateful for, Angel and John were constantly giving me #HappyActs. Evgenya and Alex Kreymerman visiting me and showing #HappyActs was a huge surprise, but so much needed during that time when I had no family with me.

March 20th, 2014--- from this day forward I will give at least one act of kindness a day, and I promise to do this for 365 days.

Today March 20th, 2015---✔ I did it....
I can't even explain the overwhelming feeling of such an achievement and what it did to change me from the inside out.  I can honestly say, I am a different person now than I was a year ago.  I'm not talking about the facial paralysis, I made this goal before that happened.  My motivation behind this goal was to see how many people I could touch. Turns out the Lord had a different motivation in mind when he lead me down this path.  He wanted me to see how achieving this goal would change and help me.

THESE  people give unselfishly everyday as they
work at Mayo Hospital--5 and a half years with them
I'm grateful BOSA DONUTS FOR EVERYONE

You know if you read my blog I like to visit the chemo lab
and always take Holiday Treats for them to enjoy during
March and April before Easter...lots of tears today

Today as I drove the long freeway to Mayo Clinic, I pulled over to the side of the road, cried some tears of joy and actually said a prayer of thanks for helping me achieve this incredible goal.  I actually start goals and give up, but not this time.  It was certainly not for glory, or to boast in anyway. I wish I could post every act of kindness I did, however for a couple reasons I will not:
1. HIPAA laws and the privacy of some acts that are too sacred to share.
2.  Heavenly Father and I may be the only ones who will ever know the change these people made in my life.

At the end of the day, trying to change one life at a time, will hopefully help others to feel what I've felt this year.  These people have made an indent in my heart that will never ever be removed.  Most of these people will never know the difference they've made in my life--some of them are my hero's as I watched them struggle with different trials.  I was placed in some places at the right time for a reason--I am so eternally grateful for those times-- This year I found out how strong I am, who I am, what I can achieve and most importantly that because I intentionally found these people, I was then able to find myself,  I like what I found--for the 1st time in my life nothing can hold me back from being BRAVE--I've let it define me.  Today I realized while I was having that tender moment on the side of the road, I'm OK with me. I'm no longer afraid to open the door to a me I've never seen before, and I know on those days when the walls seem to high to climb Heaven is on my side.  I'm ready to let nothing hold me back from what I feel inside of me-- I will be forever be grateful to Jeff Olson for going before the United Nations and officially making March 20th the International Day of Happiness. I had the opportunity to meet Kym Yancey,  CEO of the Live Happy Magazine he is a wonderful man, with a love for his family and for spreading happiness--I will never forget my interview with him.  Good people, attract good people--don't we all want good people in our lives?
Happiness is part of who I am now, I look forward to inviting more blessings not only into my life but to give to others--365 days of Happiness.

I bought a couple extra Happy Tee's to give out to random
people.

Two of my grandson's, bought them Oreo's and Kool-Aid
something their mom doesn't buy them.  good thing for
grandma's to bring a treat every once in a while
instead of the apples and bananas #HappyActs

One of the Happiness Walls from today--love when parents
participate and encourage their children. What a great
Dad--no hesitation at all.

I made a decision to go to a gas station in an area
where I knew people struggle financially.  I sat and waited
I felt it with my heart, she was the one....sure enough
zero gas and only $10 to her name. I filled her tank...
she was so happy, and the gas attendants didn't
understand....LOL 

How cute are these sisters? They are going to fill the
buckets of others who need it with their love

Another mom showing her children the value of
Happiness and sharing in their lives

These are elementary school kids, no one helped them
come up with these ways to share happiness..
another tearful moment

Some of the cute notes from one of the boards the
children wrote on

I love these happy people for coming graciously into
my life a year ago.. I love them

For the anniversary of this day, I intentionally made plans.  The two walls of Happiness were so fulfilling, more than I thought they would be.  With the help of Carrie and Lindsay we set up 2 walls at elementary schools.  What a complete gratification to see every student want to participate, to watch parents instead of dropping their children off they got out of their car and walked their children to our wall.  I was so impressed by these sweet children and parents--if our next generation could share love everyday in some small way, we would be raising a new generation of grateful children.

ONE DIFFICULT YEAR--TODAY MADE IT ALL WORTH IT....This was such a rewarding,  fantastic day. Thank you Danny Jones, Elizabeth Decker and Shelli Richardson for never giving up on me.