Sunday, January 30, 2011

Recker....BonBon ♥'s YOU

Haleigh took these darling pictures of Recker, I couldn't resist posting them, I, of course think I have the cutest grandson on the face of the planet. He makes me smile EVERYDAY, EVERYTIME

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Fundraiser

Monya and Eric

Hales and Monya

Monya and Kels

Tamy and Monya

Eric and Jenster

Jenny and Monya

Megan, Rachel and Ashley

Jenny Eric and Monya
1st just want to give a huge shout out to Kayla Roussel (my daughter) for organizing the 1st fundraiser for TEAM MONYA- Relay For Life team.  I understand from her that the team needs to raise $1500.  Last night she organized together with Sweet Tomatoes Restaurant a fundraiser from 5pm-8pm, any one who brought in the flyer and ate, 15% of their bill proceeds went towards TEAM MONYA, I'm pretty sure they were only able to raise a few hundred dollars, but every dollar counts when it comes to the research for the cure of cancer.  Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to come and eat, I appreciated it and I loved seeing some people who I have not seen for awhile.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Only 8 months Left

Temple in the DR
Today I've been feeling a little depressed and down, so I decided to get out of the house by myself for the 1st time in weeks.  I drove to WALMART, of all places?  Mostly because I needed to pick up some groceries, and also because it was close enough that if I needed to get home quickly I could.  I am healing very well from surgery, but because of being laid up in my bed for weeks I am starting to get a little antsy, I still have some pain but it is manageable.  Yesterday, I went to church for the 1st hour, it was very painful I realized I was not ready about 10 minutes into the meeting, however,  was glad I went later though, Sterling Priday had his farewell, he is going to Samoa for his 2 year mission, his talk was great, and very entertaining. I thought about Blake and how fast his mission is going, he is incredible to me, how he changed his life around and decided on his own to serve the Lord, leaving only 6 weeks after his mama was diagnosed with the VILLAIN.  I love getting those Wednesday emails from him, you know his personality is still the same, whitty and funny, but he is a man now more mature and softer around the edges.
Today when I left the house for WALMART I decided to pick up my mail, I was happily surprised to get a handwritten letter from Elder Blake Williams, and Elder Rhett Sheurn.  It warmed my heart, Rhett is Tamy's son who has been in the MTC (mission training center) in Provo Utah, he will be serving his 2 year mission in Milan Italy.  It was so good to hear from him and see how the Lord is blessing him with the language and the knowledge of the Gospel he will be teaching.
I tucked Blakes letter in between my seats and decided I wanted to relish every word and that I would wait to read it when I could snuggle up on bed, also because I knew I would have a good cry.  When I arrived at WALMART and parked, I could not resist that letter sitting there with MOM YA WILLIAMS
written on the front..... ok so I didn't wait for my bed, I opened it right there in the parking lot and yes, I cried like a baby.  There is something about getting a handwritten letter from your missionary son that just makes a mama not only SMILE like there is no tomorrow, but get a heart overwhelmed with love, and eyes filled with tears, it really is the best feeling I have ever had, and was exactly what I needed today.
Just reminds me that the Lord is always mindful of what our needs are, ALWAYS.  We only have 8 months left until we will get to embrace Blake, I miss him so much, but on the other hand I can never deny the blessings he has received from serving.

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Quiet House

The house is quiet, Haleigh is out with friends, Kaitlyn and Brian went with Eric to Backyard Tacos, I just finished reading my scriptures and it's really, really quiet.  Maybe some time for me to reflect, no I've done way too much of that lately my brain needs a break.  I think I might turn on the TV and see what is up, ok did that nothing worth anything is UP.  I am healing, it is hard for me to sit for long periods of time, but Eric and I did go to Outback tonight, by the time we were done I felt a lot of pain, so  I know I am not quite ready for "LIFE" yet, I miss going to church though, I think this Sunday I may try and go with a pillow, but I know I won't make it through more than an hour.   I have so much to be grateful for, and just want to smile about my miracle, the Lord has truly blessed me and answered a ton of prayer.  It's funny when you get that kind of miracle, suddenly I wanted to run a marathon, well not literally but it did make me feel like maybe one day soon I can start exercising again, maybe my neuropathy will be the next thing to go away, and maybe just maybe the pain in my hips will go away for good.  It could happen!!  I guess I'm just really hopeful right now, I love my family more than they will ever know and wish I could express to them in meaningful words how much, I wonder sometimes if this is how our Heavenly Father feels about all of his children?   I am so blessed to be a mother, wife, sister, daughter of God, and friend I never realized before just how blessed we all are to have simple pleasures in our life, the ones that you cannot buy, the ones you can feel in your heart.  Thank you to all who have helped me to realize who I am, and the importance of listening with my heart.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Hardest Part Of Recovery

Recker, Recker, Recker Oh how I love you little man.  I miss you so much, being able to be the ONE who picks you up when you stretch out your cute little arms, or hold you when you are sad and need a little lovin' from the last fall you took and bumped your head.   I want to run after you yelling "I'm gonna get you." but I can't yet because it still hurts, bonbon has a boo boo and the doctor says I have to wait 6 weeks again, to pick you up.  I know you don't understand what is going on, because you love bonbon and I always hold, tickle and play ball with you, but just a few more weeks and I will be able to do those things again, I promise.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Best Birthday Ever

This is My Happy
Today is my birthday, and all I wanted for my birthday was for Trystan to wake up from her coma and talk to me one more time.  Trys is my friend who is in the Mayo Clinic Hospital in Rochester MN, we both had surgery on Friday at the same time but different Mayo Hospitals.  We were  both going into these surgeries with our own fears, mine very personal something I have never, ever found the courage to talk to anyone about until our friendship developed enough that I knew the Lord had put her in my path for this reason, she has been through similar life experiences and both of us were able to let those demons go with each other.  Thursday night we spoke on the phone all night until they came to wheel her away into her pre op surgery it was around 6 am her time, this surgery for her is life and death and the doctors are only giving her a 15% chance of survival it was a very emotional "later" to say we never say "good-bye" it's always "later-sis"
Since waking up from my surgery I have been so worried about her, she has flatlined more times than I can count, the doctors almost called it one time when she stopped breathing and was blue, then all of a sudden  her heart began beating again.  On Wednesday I got an email from my son who lives in the Dominican Republic serving a mission, he asked me about Trys and said he and his companion were continuing to pray for her everyday, but that he suggested we have a fast from noon to noon .  We sat it up as a family to start the fast Thursday at Noon and to End on Friday at Noon.  I also forwarded the email to Trys's brother and invited his family to do it too, they are not members of the same church we go to,  they really had no idea about fasting and prayer, but was humbly willing to try anything, and so we did my family, Trys's brother and wife, her mother, aunt Helen and two of her doctors. Immediately we started to see some improvements, she had not been urinating on her own, so for a few hours we were praying for pee, it started she started to pee, what a miracle in itself.  The day and through the night was agonizing for me (not because of not eating) my heart was aching for every report we would get of improvement. I wanted this miracle more than I wanted my own miracle I had just received. At noon on Friday (my birthday) they started to take her off the life support to see how her heart would do, after hours she started to move.  I remember going into my backyard and yelling as loud as I could  please Trys, it's time for you to wake up.  During those 24 hours I had some pretty special experiences with Trys visiting me, one time she even asked me to give her permission to go she wanted me to say it out loud and I said NO its not time.  All day I was calling her phone leaving her messages and singing her songs that her brother would put the phone  up to her ear, around 5 pm I got a text from her brother that said to please call Trys, I called and she answered "sis, I love you" and then I cried, and cried some more, if anyone does not believe in modern day miracles they just need to test it, the Lord knows what is best for us, he knows us and he will bless us when it is his will.
We talked until 3 in the morning,  laughing like school girls again and tearing up for the miracle that again happened twice in my life in one week.  I told her before she went into surgery last week that all I wanted for my birthday was to hear her voice, and I got my wish it was the best birthday ever.  God is Good all time, and I am so thankful that he worked through Blake to help remind us of the power of fasting too.  I love You Trystan, we have so much of life to live, no regrets, no looking back.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Miracles Do Happen

Eric drove me to the Mayo Specialty building early this morning, I seriously think they should come up with some type of auto pilot for cars, (maybe they do have it and I don't know about it) just get in and say Mayo Specialty Building and off you would go. Mayo has become my home away from home the past year and a half.  I was glad the wait wasn't long especially  since I had a cath hanging out of the bottom of my pant leg, the nurse took me right back and did her thing. Then the news came that the masses in my uterus were nothing but non-cancerous tumors, but none the less had to be removed  what a miracle being told that 98% sure it was uterine cancer? to non-cancerous turmors, I was banking on that 2% I was praying for a miracle and I knew in my heart we would get it.  There was another reason why the Lord had me go through this, I was literally petrified of that reason and again the Lord knows what is best, puts the right people in our paths and takes care of the rest.  I hope that one day I will be able to talk freely about what those demons were but for now I want them to rest a bit and let me enjoy this miracle.
Thank You, thank you, thank you I say to all of you in a humble quiet, tears running down my face way, I love you all.  I was told that I am still not cancer-free, but I am Uterine Cancer Free because I don't have one.  The Lord Loves Me, and kneeling in humble prayer I say thank you. Miracles do Happen.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dr. Peter Kreymerman Leaves for Fellowship

Today I thought a lot about Dr.Peter Kreymerman and his family moving to Atlanta, it looks like there is going to be a huge storm there. I pray for success and happiness to him and his family during his fellowship.
 I'm home from the Mayo Hospital. However, I had to come home with a foley (cath) seriously? that is nasty, even though I won't be going anywhere other than my bedroom I still don't like walking from the bedroom to the bathroom with a pee bag handing from my pant leg, and then I have to empty it..... nice!!! Tomorrow I will go see Dr. Magtibay, get the foley out, pray I can go to the bathroom on my own, and if all goes well not have to go back and see him for 6 weeks. Tomorrow we get a miracle, I know we do.
I am still in pain, which is to be expected, but mentally my demons are gone. I know there will be days when I will have to face him, but I've taught myself how to let go and let the Lord take it.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Still a little Out of IT

This is what I wrote down as I waited at the Mayo Friday.  My hands are shaking so bad, my thoughts are with Trys, its hard to believe we are both having surgery today-her in Rochester Mayo and me Scottsdale Mayo.  Walking from the car through the Mayo hospital doors, I told Eric feels like I'm walking the Green Mile. It's 9:30 am, check in time.  The sitting, anticipating, watching, waiting and pacing is terrible I hate this part.  I feel like I need to throw up, my stomach is sick, partly because of my nerves, and partly because Mayo smells of sickness today!  I'm in my most comfy jammies with my breast cancer blanket wrapped around me, Eric is rubbing my back and reassuring me...this waiting is terrible.  I am going into the OR today with 3 wallet size pictures, one of Eric and I in Paris, one of Recker, and the last one of me letting balloons go to Heaven for Paige, this one reminds me to let go and the let the Lord do his stuff. They finally call my name over the loud speaker to take me back for pre-op, they tell Eric he can come back in about 40 minutes, right before I go into the surgery.  I know the routine, it's always the same, only this time I am really, really scared I'm shaking and in a fetal postition, Dr. Magtibay comes in to see me and tells me it's all gonna be ok, as soon as he leaves I curled up under my blanket and cried like a baby, I could hear nurses coming in the room and scurrying around, but I didn't take my head out until one asked me if I was ok, I said "I'm fine"  then I wonder what is happening to Trys right now, is she ok?  While going into the OR the nurse told me she liked my blanket, and that Recker was such a cute little boy, I was clinging to those pictures, they help take my mind off of what was about to happen.  I got the best surprise ever....while I was waiting in the OR for them to put me out, Dr. Kreymerman came in to see me, he stayed until I went to sleep.  He will never know what that meant to me, his face was the last one I saw and his voice was the last I heard, thanks PK, you really are the best doctor in the Universe. I'm going to miss you the most, how many doctors leave their office and go over to the hospital to see a patient get put to sleep for another doctors surgery?all because he knew I was scared.... I love Doctor Peter Kreymerman.
I woke up in recovery, and was ready to go home, well not physically but mentally I just wanted to get out of there, I have this love/hate relationship with Mayo Hospital.  I remember waking up and asking about Trystan, how is she? They had no idea who I was talking about.Where is my husband?  Where is my uterus? The nurse said "are you in pain?"  I responded 'very much so" "FROM ONE TO TEN HOW WOULD YOU RATE YOUR PAIN?"  well I'd say when it gets to the point that I want to kick you then it's time, I hate pain meds and will put them off as long as I can but....... it;s time, right now or I am going to start kicking and screaming. My post op nurse is so nice she stayed with me util I went to my room on the 7th floor. Room 64, never been to this room I always come to the 7th floor though.
Taking me from the OR bed to the regular room bed was difficult, I had to lift my own weight, I did good they readjusted me a little, but I could see some blood. They quickly replaced that with a clean sheet, thank you.  I don' t remember much about this night except my children came to visit, and Recker was all over the place he laid his head on my shoulder a few times and gave me a little kiss.
If I stayed awake to enjoy them I don't remember, I just remember waking up with Eric in a bed on the floor next to me, and right now as I write this I am dozing I will write a bit more later

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

New Year's In the DR

well this week was good the work was kinda hard because  it was New Years and the people here like to drink. New Years Eve and then on New Years day no one works but also no one wants to listen to us ha but we tried, for New Years we had fun we had some other misisonaries come stay Thr night at our place but New Years Eve we ate with this family that we are teaching then we left and went to Villa Olga (my last area) but we were only there for little and we met up with two other misssionaries then we caught a taxi back to our house and just hung out at our house and went to bed really late but it was good its weird thinking that i will be at my house the end of this year......The work here in this area is alright i am really trying to strengthen this area because when i got here the only investigators we really had were girls so when i got here i told my comp after 3 days that we need to find new people so we have been trying and focusing on families, we had to drop the girls we were teaching because they were not progressing and their intentions were not right.  But now our church starts at 8 so the investigators didnt want to come this last sunday cuz its to early but we are really hoping that they can wake up and get to church even though its at 8.
Well these next 8 months are going to fly by i just hope that not to fast cuz i got a lot more to learn before i get home into the REAL WORLD haha

con amor

i love you mom  i am so thankful for the  great example you have been in my life and i just wanted you to know that .
this was the part i liked the best from a talk I read by President Hinckley

Long ago I worked for one of our railroads whose tracks threaded the passes through these western mountains. I frequently rode the trains. It was in the days when there were steam locomotives. Those great monsters of the rails were huge and fast and dangerous. I often wondered how the engineer dared the long journey through the night. Then I came to realize that it was not one long journey, but rather a constant continuation of a short journey. The engine had a powerful headlight that made bright the way for a distance of 400 or 500 yards. The engineer saw only that distance, and that was enough, because it was constantly before him all through the night into the dawn of the new day.
The Lord has spoken of this process. He said: “That which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.
“That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day” 
And so it is with our eternal journey. We take one step at a time. In doing so we reach toward the unknown, but faith lights the way. If we will cultivate that faith, we shall never walk in darkness.

maybe someday you can use this or share it with someone i love you mommy

For a missionary mom, this is the best medicine ever, I love my missionary boy.  8 more months, he comes home

Monday, January 3, 2011

Dr. Paul Magtibay is a Good Man

Dr. Peter Kreymerman
Dr.Paul Magtibay
This morning just as I left my house and headed for the Mayo Clinic, my phone rang, to my surprise it was Dr. Paul Magtibay he was just calling me to talk a little about my surgery on Friday.   I was so happy to hear from him, as I explained some of my fears he listened with an intent heart, I knew he was listening with his ♥, I could feel it.  I feel like I am the most blessed person to have such great doctors, he is a good man, a really good man.
As I drove down the beeline the mountains were the most beautiful I have ever seen them, bright red and completely clear, off behind that red mountain was another mountain topped with white beautiful snow, what a contrast, we live in a beautiful place where the Lord has blessed us with earthly beauty, I thought about Trystan and wished she was with me to take a picture, she is a very talented photographer.
Today at Mayo there was a hustle and bustle, if you have never been to the Mayo Clinic on Shea Blvd. it is quite an experience. It's like a little city all of it's own, and all the people who "LIVE"  there have common interests, but yet are all in their own little world.  Does that make sense?  This is what I experienced as I waited, I see an older gentleman asleep his head bobbing-reminds me of someone trying to stay awake in church ha ha. Now my eyes and ears are tuned to this man who from his obvious accent is from New York or New Jersey, he is very loud and everyone in the waiting area (which is huge) now knows his entire medical history and every complaint is aired for all to hear, however, he is very polite and extremely entertaining.  I then see an elderly woman stroking her husbands head very lovingly, I found it interesting because she stroked his head as if she were running her fingers through his hair, only...... he was completely bald, she loves him I can tell they are in love by the way they look at each other.  There are a ton of people texting, one man with his headphones on totally rockin' out to the music, body movements and all, he is lovin' life right now, the best part is he is oblivious to the rest of us.  Then  over the loud speaker I hear "Reverend Larry Johnson" (I changed the name)  all of a sudden the New York funny man stands up throws his hands in the air and says"don't look at me, but God Bless Rev. Johnson" it was so funny  Just then this lady with an attitude walks by looks right at me and says "this is a freakin' 3 ring circus" I just smiled then thought to myself "I love this 3 ring circus."
After my appointments at the Mayo on Shea, I had to head over to the Mayo Specialty Building next to the hospital for the rest of my appointments.  I stopped by to see Dr. Kreymerman and Heather, I got to see PK but Heather was with a patient.  Yes, I still love him, I know that was what you were thinking.
I now have an hour and half before my next appointment, so I decided to go to the cafeteria and people watch.... funnest part of my day.  There is so much going on around me, where do I even start?  I was talking on the phone to my dear friend Trys, out of the corner of my eye I see Dr. Kreymerman walking by and talking on the phone with someone, probably his wifey, he didn't see me, but just beyond him I see a woman in a pink breast cancer sweatshirt I'm not sure why she caught my eye but this is what happened..... she stood up and decided to take off her pink sweatshirt, along with her sweatshirt off came her undershirt and she was standing in the middle of the cafeteria in her bra, seriously?  are you kidding me right now?  Normally I would of felt really, really bad for her and even would of tried to assist her,  but she had no care in the world, the doctor sitting at the table next to her tapped her as if to say "uh, you're half front of everyone" she looked at him and just shrugged her shoulders took her time to  put her undershirt on, no big deal.  Now that is a true Mayo Patient, she has probably been so exposed to doctors, nurses and students that she just said "to hell with it, who cares?" I know how that feels.  Except with me I just forget to put my bra back on after taking it off so many times.... ha ha
On Monday nights our family likes to get together for dinner, games, singing, and a spiritual or life lesson we call it FAMILY HOME EVENING.  Tonight for FHE I invited my friend Trystan to join us via. the phone.  Trys is in Rochester MN right now, and I wanted her to be a part of our family tonight as we sang "Families can be together Forever" then my son in law Brian gave a beautiful lesson about adversity he read from the scriptures "My daughter, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a  small moment; and then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.  Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands"  There was not a dry eye in our little family room tonight, we sang "I am a Child of God" had a closing prayer and I talked to Trys, she was so happy to be a part of our FHE tonight, she reminded me that I am blessed to have my family all so close to me and be able to share such good memories together.
Tonight as I go to bed I am exhausted from a long day, I have a migraine starting, my legs, hips and cramps are horrific, but still I am at peace and grateful for my family and my friends who help to lighten my load on days when I need it, days like today.  I love you all so much.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2011 Has Arrived

 It's New Year's Eve once again, and I am doing my favorite thing ever..... ready for it?  drum roll please ..... laying in my big comfy bed next to my honey, and my little favorite man Recker, in my Jammies,  eating Rumbi blackened Maui Maui, talking to Trys on the phone and getting ready to watch a movie "Coal Miners Daughter"
It seems that the years are just flying by, I can now say  that my son will be home this year, 2011 is sure to bring the Williams Family many blessings and much happiness.  I pray that you and your loved ones will take advantage of making goals and changes in your life that will help your family to become closer not only to each other but to our Heavenly Father who loves you so much.