I entered the Mayo today wondering what was ahead of me. Waiting for my name to be called I talked to a woman who was waiting on her husband who was having his radiation treatment. Her daughter also had breast cancer 2 years ago, she talked about how her hair grew back curly and beautiful, it has been so long since I have had hair I wonder how long it will take, and what it will look like? As my mind wondered off I heard my name over the loud speaker... my stomach turns and I get up to meet Chris, he will be with me in radiation today. After getting my gown on I was taken to a huge room, in the middle of the room is a table connected to an incredibly big machine. I now have 5 tattoos the size of freckles where they will radiate. My right arm is up above my head, it is painful, I have not had my arm above my head for that long of a time since before my mastectomy.
The technicians set up my body so that all the beams would radiate exactly where they are supposed to and I am told not to move. When the lights went out and the technicians left the room I felt like I was in a Sci Fi movie, the huge round machine above my head moves and makes noises, red and green beams penetrate my breasts. The technicians come in and out rearranging the machine and continuing to tell me not to move. The machine rotates completely around my body, the beams radiate each spot a few times, when it was all over I had been in the same position for 40 minutes and it was difficult to straighten out my arm and get off the table. My chest and face feel hot and now are red.
On my drive home, I was contemplating all that I have been through so far and what is ahead of me, my life has changed that's for sure and it will never be the same. I have been really studying and trying to learn more about HOPE, not really completely knowing what HOPE was until now I think I have a better understanding of it. HOPE is trusting that the LORD will fulfill HIS promises to you. When you have HOPE, you work through your trials with confidence, patience and optimism. HOPE helps me to overcome discouragement.
Seeing growth
2 years ago
6 comments:
That does not sound fun at all. I am so impressed that you always seem to find the bright side of things. Conference was probably a wonderful thing to fill you up before this next icky phase. You will make it and you are showing the rest of us how to survive our trials with the hope and love of the Savior in our lives. Thanks so much for that.
40 mintues! monya that sounds awful. i can't even hold my hair dryer over my head for five minutes without it hurting. i love how you are wondering what your hair will look like. Thinking about the wonderful things TO COME, because they are COMING!
I also love that you are thinking about the word HOPE. I was told a quote about hope a long time ago, and still haven't forgotten it.
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."
kinda cheesy i know. it helped my church leader get through her set backs.
like always, you are in my prayers and thoughts. LOvE YoU!
I love you! I'm glad you called me on the way home!
Though, we have never met, I wanted to say I love you. For your strength, for your vulnerablity, your pureness, your faith. You are incredible Monya. I wish I could meet you. My father passed away from liver cancer, almost 5 years ago. And I would do anything within my power to see him again and get rid of this ugly villian that has haunted so many people. I hope your day is full of sunshine, and love. I will keep you in my prayers, beautiful.
Monya - thank you for sharing your story, your faith and the hope that helps keep you going. None of us know what's down the road for us ... and I appreciate your example of endurance and joy in the face of challenge. My best to you now and always! Love, Sue (aka Norm's wife)
Love you Monya....the journey continues...but you do it with grace, love, wisdom, acceptance and hope......this won't last forever....and soon you will reclaim your life....love you!
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