Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Fighting the VILLAIN

OK so lots of people are asking about the chemo treatments and how they went for me, I am sorry I cannot get back to all of you personally, but I just took some meds so for a few minutes I can give you an update. BEWARE:if you don't want to hear the truth do not read this. I am using this blog as a journal and I apologize if I offend anyone.
Chemo was actually not too bad, I had some distractions if you read my last blog I imagined a battle between the chemo and the VILLAIN. The actual chemo med is bright red and comes out of my body the same bright red. I was told not to let anyone use the same bathroom as me, because it is so toxic, I need to flush twice. Monday night I felt very tired and weak, and urinated red, I never knew pee could look so pretty !!! OK, sorry but that is they only funny thing about this.
Tuesday, I went in for a neulasta shot, this shot is to keep the white blood cells growing. When a person goes through chemo it takes all your cells and kills them including the good ones that you need. So the "day after shot" helps to replace them. They told me that my bones and muscles may ache, but that some people do not experience it at all, I knew when I left the MAYO that I would be the one who would not feel the pain of the bones and muscles...again I am referring back to my hard cardio workouts.....WRONG...this morning I woke up with aches and pains that I never have felt before. Every muscle in my body hurts, I take the meds and it goes away but then I sleep. Since there are only 3 bathrooms in the house, I get my private one (Blake's) I spent a lot of time in the private bathroom today. I do not want to eat anything, Tamy came over today and brought me a smoothie from Tropical Smoothie, but it tasted like metal or something, so then for lunch she gave me some rice with veggies and chicken so I can get some protein that was good. However, did not last in my system, everything is coming out, purging from top to bottom. I spent the entire day on the sofa sleeping from the meds, or puking and having diarrhea. I love Tamy Scheurn. She just layed on the sofa with me, blogging in her online blog journal and watching me sleep. When I woke up the last time, Kayla and Jeremy were here and Tamy was gone. She informed them about my meds and told Kayla to get me some pasta for dinner. I ate a few bites and so far so good.
I am ticked off at all the times I heard from people that chemo would be a breeze, it is different for everyone, I am not one of the lucky ones it looks like.
However, I know this is the beginning of the end, I am going to get through this, I am going to fully heal and I am going to never take my life or anyone in it again. I have the highest respect and love for those who have gone through this before, and for the people who are the caregivers of VILLAIN patients. I don't think people realize how hard it is on them, my family has to watch and listen to me sick and cannot do a thing about it, I love you all so much, and I am sorry you are experiencing pain in your life also as you watch this VILLAIN fight with me.




8 comments:

Kayla Roussel said...

I love you and will be there for you whenever you need! You are such an amazing mom and i love you so much for being such a good example to me. I look up to you so much, more than you will ever know. I wish i could help alleviate some of this pain youre going through, i dont know how and it kills me. I love you, and always will!

Kayla Roussel said...

p.s. i need the link to T.S.'s blog!!

kittrean tanner said...

xoxoxoxoxx whisper

Dena said...

One day at a time...one hour at a time... You CAN do this :) My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kristin Walledom (337) 912-5909 said...

I am so grateful for Tamy. I really understand why she is the ONE that gets you through these tough times you are facing....she is so sweet and genuine what a blessing to have such a friend. As I have learned recently they are not easy to come by...REAL friends that is. I am such a ball baby as you know! I am glad you do not have to see my tears....I too have cried a river. I want to be there for you and hate that I can't......I am not sure what I could do but I feel so rotten to be here in Louisiana and not there. You are in my constant prayer and on my mind everyday. This journey has made me realize how much I love you and how much my sisters mean to me.

lorie said...

Monya,
You will kick this just like Lance Armstrong and be back on the bike/run soon! Praying and thinking of you often.

Marilyn said...

Yup....it is the pits.....some days will be better so watch for them...chrerish any relief you get and know that the bad times are temporary...it will just feel like forever....but it isn't. They are hitting you with the big guns...and those guns are doing their work....that's why the Villian is coming out red...get out of here.....flush him down 3 times...good riddens!!!!

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