What would your sign say?

~ Never Judge Anyone ~

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call ASAP, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. 
He found the boy’s father going and coming in the hall waiting for the doctor. Once seeing him, the dad yelled:
“Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have the sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled and said:
“I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came the fastest I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily

The doctor smiled again and replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Bible “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace”

“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank God! Your son is saved!”

And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

NEVER JUDGE ANYONE because you never know how their life is and as to what is happening or what they’re going through. 

I have thought about this story a lot lately.  One of my favorite movies is called "For Love Of The Game" with Kevin Costner during the movie the girl he is dating says that she wishes everyone could wear a sign around their neck saying what kind of mood they were in or what was happening in their lives so we could just know and treat them different.  Sunday a lesson was given with this exact same concept in mind and I just loved the message.  Maybe we would be less critical of each other if we knew what people were going through in their private lives.  What if the sign said "My husband just left me"  "I just lost my job"  "someone in my family is dealing with addiction"  "my marriage is struggling"  "my child was just diagnosed with Autism"  "I lost my job"  "I lost my home"  "I'm being abused"  "my child is rebelling" and the list can go on....the point is we all need to be a little more kind toward everyone we meet, unfortunately our Heavenly Father is the only one who knows all of what we are going through, and HE is really the ultimate judge.

Blake and Chloe are ENGAGED

The actual proposal

so happy

he did good on her ring--rose gold beautiful

tears of joy

they look good together

sweet

haleigh, blake and chloe, wy wy and mattison brown,
greg and lins smart and Kaitlyn and Brian

He got the girl--

Blake has now been home since September--a few weeks later he started to date Chloe Dana--we love her and are excited for her to join our family--Let me tell you a little about this sweet girl--she danced with Haleigh and Kaitlyn--I knew her mother, who sadly lost her life to cancer just before I found out I had cancer-- Chloe brings out the best qualities  in Blake.   They continually laugh, compliment each other and are genuinely supportive of the goals they not only have made together but individually--I have never been nervous about who Blake would marry because we have always joked with him about whoever he decides to marry has to get passed the Williams girls approval--and Chloe does--we love her and are happy for them to start their life together.  We also always knew Blake would marry a girl with dark hair and coco skin--they will make some cute babies.

It's been fun watching Blake prepare for how he would ask her to marry him, he wanted his family involved and to be there--so we all packed up and went to Mexico--he and Brian planned the actual event so none of us really knew when it would happen or how--Chloe had no idea it was coming which made it even that more sweet--and to top it off it was her birthday Feb 18th, the day he asked her.

Blake and Brian asked this hispanic family with small children if they would help, and as we were sitting down town enjoying the beautiful weather, this family walked up and in broken english asked for Chloe--completely surprised and in her bubbly happy attitude she said "yes, that's me" then the little cute boy handed her a box with the ring, Blake got down on one knee and asked her to marry him for eternity.  I wish I had her reaction on video--I had no idea it was coming, we all cried and hugged and oh yeah she said "YES"  Welcome to our family Chloe we love you --oh and by the way you have to teach Family Home Evening next week--

Valentine's Day 2012

This Rose was from Shane Urban ♥

My famous sugar cookies

Look how precious this is

The Necklace

I woke up this morning to balloons and rose's covering our kitchen counter...thank you Eric.  He was so sweet to give all the girls and myself a rose in a vase, with a personalized card, mylar balloon and Hershey candy bar.  In my Anthropology bag was this beautiful necklace--good job Eric I love it.

Frustration at Mayo

Mayo, Mayo, Mayo oh how I despise Mayo today--after all my scans and needle pokes I was anticipating some answers today, a diagnosis of my hip pain--NADA
I got my port accessed--blood taken, more blood taken and just for fun one more vile of blood taken.  I then went to see Dr. Freeman who I was hoping would give me some news I could live with.
My labs show some elevations, the MRI shows the spot on my hip bone has grown twice as big as last year at this time, it is NOT bursitis, but possibly the bone is deteriorating ??  I was told to go back to oncology-- Frustrated is an understatement--I'm trying really hard to see the positive in all of this, but just needed to vent a little--OK I'm done--

Donations? Beware

As all the ads and commercials start their campaigning to "Fight Against Breast Cancer" walks and runs, please do your homework before donating to any of them.  I was shocked as I researched to see just how much money is donated directly to help breast cancer patients, one of the Huge supposedly "non-profit" organizations kept 80% of the proceeds for employees and personal gain in 2010 and 2011.  Which means if you do the math only 20% went to the actual cause--

There are a lot of great non-profit organizations out there to donate to if you are interested in donating specifically to cancer in general--American Cancer Society is one of them that our family supports, 100% of proceeds from fundraising goes directly to patients. ACS has programs to house families who need to have shelter during chemo and radiation, one of the programs gives women who lose their hair meetings they can go to and learn how to do makeup and gives them scarves and wigs--they also have shuttle services available to pick patients up and take them to and from their treatments--

Just beware of who you are donating to and what they are specifically doing with the money.

MRI

I spent the day in a gown at the Mayo Clinic today.   Pretty proud of myself, I didn't have to take any anti anxiety medicine to get me through.  Good news, my insurance is still going to cover me at Mayo--YAY.
Tonight, I'm in some pain. The process was not what I was prepared for, they have to inject some dye into the area around the bone, the contrast  helps them see what is going on in my hip bone.   I really liked the doctor, he explained each step of the way what he was doing.  They numb the area first, then inject the dye,  he told me to let him know if I had any pain.  Then..... he hit my hip bone twice with the needle--OUCH--
After talking to me about side effects, the nurse got me off the table and told me to walk down the hall for the MRI.  There was a strange feeling in my leg, probably because it was  numb.
They took me immediately in for the MRI.  Oh no, I remember this machine.  I asked if I could listen to some music, being so claustrophobic I was afraid of having a panic attack.  For the next 45 minutes I listened to the Eagles, and suffered through the  pounding noises of the incredible MRI machine.
As I sit here, in my bedroom, I can't help but think "when is this going to end?"  I rub my hand over my port and wonder if I will ever be free of this VILLAIN or the side effects.

Never Forget

I found this quote lying on the floor of the chapel this morning.

Never forget in the darkness, what you have learned in the light--

There is a transformation that occurs sometimes when people go through a life altering experience in their lives.  For me it started instantly, when I was diagnosed, on the way home I remember thinking "nothing else matters right now, nothing !!" When my brother died, I thought the same thing--I knew my life was going to change, what I didn't know at that time was how much.  Before cancer  I was arrogant to think that I could never be touched by the cancer, after all I was healthy right?  My life was happy, nothing needed changing, I liked my life the way it was.   Little did I know, I had so much to learn, I still have so much to learn.

My priorities changed quickly, along with the emotional turmoil came the realization that I was fragile, and frightened.  I've always known God lives, even though I was raised in a confusing atmosphere I learned to rely on the Lord and HE always blessed me with light.  How grateful I am for the knowledge of prayer, faith and hope.  Giving in to the fear and allowing myself to be vulnerable has been the best blessing of all.  I've learned that happiness is so much more infinite and real than I could  ever imagined. 

Recker's Rules

Eric and I bought a trampoline for Christmas, we know how much Recker loves jumping on the little one he has in his room.  When we purchased it we had no idea what a BIG hit it would be with the entire family, but especially with Recker.   Every time he walks through the front door of my house, he starts grabbing hands to lead him outside.  He has rules however, and you must follow them.

1.  you have to be on the tramp with him-----

2.  you are not allowed to sit down or slow down-----

Celebration

Today, is a good day--my new friend rang the bell for his last radiation treatment--whoo hoo.  When I walked into the waiting area and saw all the blue balloons and people, it put a smile in my heart, they were all there for him.  There is something beautiful about having loving, supportive people in your life.  For cancer patients it gives them HOPE, and FAITH in their future, that love is what gets them through one more round of chemo,  one more port access, another day of hovering over a toilet.  For me, I love  to have family around, keeping connected with them gives me pleasure, and I just want to cultivate it while I can,  enjoy every moment I have.   I will forever look at family and close friends differently than I ever have in my life.

As I sat and watched and observed this huge support system he has, it reconfirmed to me how vitally important it is to nurture good relationships,  be kind to everyone who is in your life, and those who are passing through, tell the people in your life how much you love them, how much you appreciate them.   Hold on to good memories and cherish the happy times.  What a happy time for this guy and his family.  I KNOW he will remember this day and hopefully it will bring him comfort on a day when he feels alone or scared--Thank you for inviting me to share in this moment with you and your loved ones.

Porche or Pinto

The past couple of days have been rough, not a lot of sleep, insomnia is kicking me in the behind.  It's the worst feeling to be up all night, staring at the ceiling, knowing in just a couple hours I have to get up and go to work.   Part of the reason for this besides the obvious hormonal, cancer crap, is I just realized that Us Airways has changed our insurance carriers, and I may not be able to go to Mayo Clinic anymore--when I opened the envelope and read it, I literally wanted to throw up, I felt sick.  Eric had just got home from work when I was reading the mail, I asked Blake to please go get him, when he came down stairs I asked him to read it too, he read it, and read it and then read it again, the next couple of hours I tried to find out some information but of course the offices are closed until Monday--I was watching Recker he was a great distraction, he and I jumped on the trampoline together, I had to keep saying to myself "it's OK, whatever happens, you can't control this, so just go with whatever happens"  yeah right, this means no more Dr. Northfelt, Dr. Magtibay, Dr. Freeman, Dr. Kreymerman,  MaryAnn Forrett,,  and all the wonderful people who have touched my life and been with me from the beginning of my journey. I could not get my mind off of it, I watched a movie with Recker on my bed, he makes me laugh and takes everything away just for a little bit--I loved that time with him, as soon as he fell asleep on my chest, I laid him next to me and just stared at him--he is so perfect, so untouched by the worries of the world.
Needless to say Eric and I were up all night worrying about this insurance thing, I went down stairs and laid on the sofa, it wasn't long before he was sitting next to me.  I love Eric, he looked at me and said "no matter what I want you to be at Mayo Clinic with your doctors, I will make it happen"  I told him it's not fair, it's not  that I think Mayo Clinic is superior to any other facility, it's just that those are MY people, they  are the ones who I cried with, the doctors I love and who I feel love me and know me.  I will never share with any other  doctors what I shared with Dr. Kreymerman and Dr. Magtibay they know a part of my life that I have never shared with anyone else, except Eric.  I was so upset I looked at Eric and said "it's like driving a Porche and then all of sudden being told you have to drive a Pinto, but you are going to have to pay more for it.  He looked at me and responded "yes sweetheart, but you still have a car"