I need Your Prayers !!🚩

Went to see Dr. Magtibay a few days before my surgery with Dr. PK ..... not such a good experience.1st off I really, really like him, he is soft spoken and compassionate.   He wanted to do a biopsy of my Uterus, I agreed and this is how it went:

Stirrups - yay

Relax- impossible

Insertion of needle - Yikes

"You may feel some pain" ----- wholly cow did I

Throw Up-

Fainting-

He had to quit the exam because I was in too much pain, my cervix is scarred shut from all of the other surgeries I have had. He was so sweet, got me a bottle of water and sat and talked to me for a bit.   There is a possibility I have Uterine Cancer, and because they cannot do the biopsy I will have an ultra sound next week, he wants to look at my ovaries too, then,  he and I will meet again for my options.  I have known from the beginning that the risk of me getting Uterine Cancer is very high, however, I was willing to take the chance it would not invade my life once again.  My doctors have been honest with me, and have explained that I am not cancer free, I realize this, and still there is a calm and peaceful feeling I have.  I can still say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life right now.

That night I decided to go to the church for the Woman's Christmas Celebration- (RS) I was so overwhelmed when I walked in, my mind was flooded with memories of last year... I went to the Christmas Celebration for the 1st time being seen with no hair, I still remember the scarf I wore and feelings of vulnerability. Now,  I have a little bit of my hair back, but  some of the feelings are the same,  vulnerability  is soon  replaced with the feelings of Love that I know those ladies all have for me, and I for them.  It's amazing how much you can change your perspective and recognize good hearted people when you are being served, and when you have the opportunity to serve others.  "We are the hands of Heaven on Earth." It is our responsibility to serve and comfort others, I so need to be better at that.

I really need to look up for some comfort, please pray for me.  I have a lot of faith not only in my doctors but in the Lord, he is trying to teach me something, my spirit sometimes fades, but my ears are listening for answers to prayers.  The Lord is Good and continues to bless us with his love.

CORRECTION

THE SURGERY I AM HAVING TOMORROW IS NOT A HYSTERECTOMY ..... THAT WOULD BE WITH DR MAGTIBAY..... TOMORROW I AM WITH DR. PETER KREYMERMAN FOR SOME MORE RECONSTRUCTION SURGERY.

Dr. Peter Kreymerman Back In Surgery🚩

Tomorrow I will meeting with Dr. Peter Kreymerman in a Mayo O.R. for yet another surgery.  If it wasn't for the fact that I know he cares about me, and that I will always think he is the best doctor on the planet, I might be a little scared, but I'm good this time.  I have so much to blog about with my appointment I had with Dr. Magtiby today, but my mind will not let me wander over there quite yet. I need a few days to process it all.  I will again be asking for prayers to be with me and my family right now.
I report to the Mayo Clinic Hospital at 11 am on Thursday. 

Dr. Paul Magtibay Mayo Clinic🚩

Ok so I've been putting off blogging about this, but now I feel like I need to.  The past few months I have been experiencing some extreme pain, like being in labor,  a couple of times I even fainted and or threw up, the pain does not go away like it would if you were having your period.  Which by the way, I am not supposed to be having because chemo killed my ovaries and I am in POST menopause, remember Mr. Hotflash?  he's been on vacation for a little while now.  I am taking a estrogen blocker, but I think it's not working.
I also have been bleeding really, really bad.   I have not wanted to face it, so I just don't talk about it, like that is going to make it go away.... right?  The truth is I'm scared, I don't want to go through any more, I'm so done, the VILLAIN took my breasts and now my other parts that are feminine are being compromised because I refuse to get treatment that is needed.   I feel like I would rather be in the pain then go through another surgery, however, I know the high risk I am at because of having breast cancer and I know that I cannot ignore it any longer.   I will be seeing Dr. Paul M. Magtibay tomorrow he is also at Mayo Clinic. Let's hope I love him as much as I love Dr.Kreymerman.

Warriors🚩

Who are the warriors in your life?   What is a warrior?    Webster has this to say about Warriors.......

war·rior

 noun, often attributive 
\ˈwȯr-yər, ˈwȯr-ē-ər, ˈwär-ē- also ˈwär-yər\

Definition of WARRIOR

: a man engaged or experienced in warfare; broadly : a person engaged in some struggle or conflict

I have been thinking about this word WARRIOR for a few weeks now. Athletes are sometimes referred to as warriors when they put it all on the line to win, sometimes at any cost.  The media has made some celebrities out to be WARRIORS, people in our lives who we can look up to or admire for their fight to get where they are today.  Going to battle is what you may think of, that huge big WARRIOR standing up for what they believe 

This is what I have decided, It's not about how much money you make or have, it's not about who you know or where you live.  It's all about how much love you have in your heart, it matters.  The person who struggles everyday to make enough money to feed their family, is a WARRIOR.  The people who share what they have with the less fortunate are WARRIORS.  The single mothers striving to raise beautiful, compassionate children, you are  WARRIORS. The father and mother who no matter what type of day they have had bring their family together every night and kneel for family prayer, they are WARRIORS. 

 Most WARRIORS don't know they are, they make life easier for those around them without any effort.  I've come to see people in a different light, most people are good and want to share, most of us want to become WARRIORS. I love Webster's 2nd example of a WARRIOR  "a person engaged in some struggle or conflict"  do you know anyone in your life without struggle or conflict?  I don't, WE ARE ALL WARRIORS in our own right.

Ditch the Bra🚩

Funny story, when I went to the Mayo Clinic on Monday one of my appointments I had to remove my clothes and put on the ugly robe.  When I was finished with my tests, I stepped behind the curtain pulled it shut but was kinda waiting for the technician to leave and she never did, so I hurriedly got dressed, I kept thinking she was going to pull back the curtain or try taking a little peeky peek .. ha ha anyway I said good-bye to her and drove home, all day I kept thinking WOW I love this sports bra I just picked up at FOREVER 21 In Scottsdale (the only store that carries them in AZ) I kept thinking it was so comfortable it almost feels like I don't have one on..... well turns out.... I didn't have one on .... when I changed that night into my nightgown I realized I had forgotten my bra at the Mayo and had not been wearing one for the rest of the day, all day I thought it was so comfortable ..... IT WAS because I didn't have one on.   Yes, people I am a true blonde, I must of had a little brain fart, or it was chemo brain, or maybe it was my subconscious saying "ditch the bra already girl"

She Made It

About a month ago my daughter Haleigh auditioned for the Easter Pageant, last night she found out she made it and will be one of the ten virgins.  It is held at the Mesa Arizona Temple Grounds the month of April 2011.   I love You Hales and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments in life.
Click Here to find out more about the Pageant

Mayo Monday🚩

Today when I arrived at the Mayo Clinic Scottsdale Campus, I realized it has been a few months since I have been at this campus. I walked in to hear Anne Monte, an elderly woman playing the piano. It reminded me of a year ago, Tamy and I were at the Mayo for a chemo appointment and Anne Monte was playing the piano, a familiar tune to Tamy so she and I walked up and said hi to her and Tamy sang along with the music. Today I watched her play the piano so beautifully as I waited for the nurse to call my name. I watched Anne as someone came and lifted her into a wheelchair, she smiled and said Hi to me as she passed. What a cute woman, and how wonderful  she volunteers to cheer people up with her music. Another one of those Angels !!


I'm ready for my 2nd appointment, I notice I have labs and want to get the numbing cream on my PORT and mentally prepare myself for stepping off of the elevator onto the 3rd floor, breast clinic, and chemo lab. I don't want to smell it today, I don't want to see the people waiting, and I don't want to sit in those all too familiar reclining chairs---WAIT looking at my itinerary I see that they have scheduled me for labs on the lower level, I have never been there before. I go check it out, I step off the elevator...no smell, lots of people, and they called me back quickly with no reclining chairs, this time the blood is coming out of my arm instead of my PORT?? The lady had to stick me several times to get a good vein, I was upset because I know my veins are iffy .... this is why I have a PORT, so I won't have to get my veins collapsed. When I left there I felt as if I had been given a tender mercy though, I didn't have to go to the 3rd floor at all today. My last appointment was on the concourse level.... yay no anxiety today, no smells, no anxiety, no smells, no anxiety do you see me dancing? I'm doing the dance right now, arms in the air, smile on the face. Thanks to my sweet Angel Trys for calling and walking me through part of Mayo today. I Love You.

Angels Among Us🚩

Today is Thanksgiving 2010. I have so much to be Thankful for, we all have so much to be Thankful for. As I prepared the meal, I could not stop thinking about Ray Williams/. Dad,/ Grandad/ We all loved him so much and Thanksgiving was a fun time with him, he loved to eat and enjoy his family. I always called him earlier in the week of Thanksgiving and would take his "PIE ORDER" he would always ask for Pecan, but loved anything I made, in fact he would take a sliver of each PIE and try them all, oh how his eyes would light up. This year we have so much food left over, I wish he was here to take some home with him like he always did. I love him and think of him often, always with a smile on his face, a pass along card in his pocket, and a hug for anyone and everyone, what I would give for one of his hugs today.

I believe there ARE angels among us, some who touch our lives by their example of strength, compassion and FAITH, some who have already passed on and frequent our lives with their spirit every once in awhile.

Tamy was an angel who took me to every one of my chemo appointments then back the next day for my "day after shot of neulasta" I will eternally be grateful for her example of compassion and serivce. Eric is my eternal angel, he has saved me more times than I can mention. The angels who brought dinner to my family for months and months will never know how much that meant to me, those angels are still helping us out. The silent angels who serve are the ones who amaze me, how is it that our lives can be blessed by those who choose to be invisible? It's that feeling of service I want my children to understand. I have angels who leave me messages of HOPE with cards, letters and comments on my blog. I can't help but think that all of the angels that touch our lives are not random, they are placed in our path by the Lord for a reason, it's up to us to recognize it and be in tune enough to feel it. It makes me wonder how many times I have NOT been in tune, been caught up in too many worldly "things" and not acknowledged the many other angels who have tried to embrace me.

Some angels are strangers to us, you know the lady who smiles at you on a day when you really really needed it, some of the most influential angels in my life I have never even met, yet I know the connection is eternal. Opening up my circle of comfort and allowing others to bless my life with what they know has not been as difficult as I thought it would be, my life is richly blessed. Hopefully in my life time I can give back and be an angel to someone in need.

Thanksgiving in the Dominican Republic

Companions

Thanksgiving with the Zone

Thanksgiving Feast

That is disgusting son

Gettin' the Turkey's ready

Blake and Shelley

Hand in mouth

Flippin the french toast

French Toast for Breakfast

Popcorn and Papaya Juice (the best juice in the world)

Carolina FHE

Well this week has been pretty good besides the fact that we didnt have any investigadores at church but it was good Hermano Santana went to church he is a stud i love that guy so much he was telling us how he wants only the best for his family and especially for his son Junior who also is lessactive he told him that he wants him to come back to church and wants him to blessed i felt soo happy he is awsome, i ordered this picture of the Temple in Santo Domingo and i am going to try and frame it and and give ot to them for Christmas cuz i would love to see them get sealed as a family and go to the temple so they can really enjoy all the blessings the Lord has waiting for them............we have this one investigator that is a segurity gaurd and said that after we had an appointment with him all of his problems were sold and that he really believes tthat he needs to follow this path in his life he said to us Adios Jahova Witnesses, Adios Catolicos, Adios whatever religion isnt the mormons. cuz I AM GOING WITH THE MORMONS haha (adios means Bye) haha but it was really cool and awsome i really hope that he is willing to change and to start going to church everyweek, he has only gone one time but we will see this week how it goes....
but as for thanksgiving it was awsome we took our PDAY today on Thanksgiving so that our whole zone (28missionaries) could do a huge feast and cook, it was awsoome all the sister misisonaries cooked well a few of us helped but they did about everything and it was as if i was in my backyard with all of my family but MOM cooks a lot better the only thing that we didnt have was pies and yams but it was actually really really good and cant wait to eat some more of it cuz there was a lot of leftovers and since we live the closest to the chapel we got to bring all of the food to our house haha