Toilet Phone

Tonight I cannot sleep, it's 12:15 the house is quiet as all are asleep and I am lost in thought.  Last week I lost my phone to the toilet--I tried all the tricks--I heard putting it in rice would help, but not for me I left it there for 4 days and still no good. I missed a Mayo appointment, but other than that I don't think I missed much.   It was nice not being responsible, but I admit I realized how much I have come to rely on that device.  I think Eric was more worried about it than I was, because he likes to call me throughout the day and check to see how I am, we do not have a land line here at our home so unless I was with one of my children he had no way of getting in touch with me.  So with that being said I now am the owner of a new phone, thank you Eric.

I will be visiting Mayo Clinic with Dr. Barr's on Wednesday morning. Hoping and praying all is going well with the healing, I am supposed to go back to work on February 4th.  I can't believe I'm saying this but I am looking forward to it. With the merger between USAirways and American it is important I am there to keep up with the latest and get the training I need.

My right ear is draining quite a bit, I've been leaving the cotton ball out so it can dry out, this was Dr. Barr's suggestion, but I'm pretty sure it's getting infected, I can feel it in my right jaw, behind the ear and down into my neck.  It aches constantly but I refuse to take the pain pills, I've tried some herbal remedies but nothing will work like a good ole narcotic, and I really don't want to go through what I went through to get off of them while I was dealing with my chemo and radiation.

I've gotten some energy the past couple of weeks, I've been juicing all my veggies and fruits in the morning and it has helped me not only get the nutrition I need but given me some energy to get out of the house.  I went to church on Sunday, and did not wear my mask--I have a hard time breathing in it, but I understand the risk also.   I'm ready to get on with life, no mask, no medicine, no blogging about my broken heart every time another trial comes our way.  I don't think I can cry any more, it's time for me to dry my eyes, wipe off all the tears, stand up, let the sunlight in and start living again.

I will never take my ears or hearing for granted again--3 weeks of literally not being able to hear was overwhelming to me, the only thing that helped me through it was reading, I read the entire book of Preach my Gospel, with special attention to reading chapter 6 on the attributes of Christ.  What I learned from this experience, is that I was lifted up and helped through those agonizing weeks.  I have nothing to complain about, when I see the Lord someday, I want to be able to say to him "Thank you, thank you for being my friend during those 3 weeks, for you were the only one I KNEW understood what I was feeling and all the fears I had" I will glory in his name all the days of my life, but also I am thankful he allowed my hearing to return in that left ear, the day it popped and I could hear again was amazing--the birds seemed to chirp louder than I had ever heard, the phone rang more than I wanted, but the thing I loved the most was hearing music again, Sunday I could hardly get through the music, and continually  watched Stephen Phelps play his testimony through his music, magically this man can calm my heart with his incredible way of putting my life in perspective, music is my way of communicating to my own heart what I am feeling.  Thank you Eric for bringing a sense of humor to the situation.  I forget sometimes to just laugh at myself, if my story was written I really think it would be hard for some to believe, and maybe even I would laugh--but with that being said It's time for me to try and sleep and to leave with this final thought for my children and family:

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle,accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is life, fight for it.”

~ Mother Teresa