Bless You

Giving more than I receive is so important and helps me to keep grounded and living in the real world.  This is such a busy month for everyone, a few weeks ago I was finally approved and excepted as a volunteer at MD ANDERSON Cancer Center, my heart is with Mayo, however, this cancer center is  only about a mile and a half from my home.  I am working with patients in the radiation oncology department.  I love working with people, however this has been a little more emotional than I had expected it to be.  I have always said that people come into our lives for a reason, nothing is by luck or chance, the Lord puts people in our path to either help us or for us to help them.  I'm not sure what I am going to learn from this volunteering experience but I can say that these people I am meeting are teaching me a lot more than I am teaching them.  Wednesday I met a patient,  she was there for her daily round of radiation, as I wheeled her from the waiting area to the radiation vault I told her we had saved the best patient for last, she laughed and said with a smile in her eyes, "bless you." I then told her I would be waiting outside the vault when she was finished to take her back to her son that was waiting, when she finished and came around the corner I was waiting, surprisingly she smiled really big and said "I'm so glad you are still here, I know you can't understand what I am going through but it helps to see your face before and after my radiation" as I wheeled her out she asked me about my family and my life, I told her about my 4 children, my sweet husband and where I live, she then asked me if I knew anyone who had ever had cancer.... not really prepared for that one I looked at her and said "I fought with the VILLAIN, in fact" I continued "I'm still battling with it, and the side effects" she had a shocked look on her face and replied "WHAT? you don't look like you have or had cancer, you're too young"  we both laughed when I said "I know, I'm way to young, ha ha"  deep in her eyes I could see she wanted to ask me more questions, I allowed the conversation and this is how it went

 her:  "may I ask you what type of cancer you have?
me:    "breast cancer"
her:    "did you have chemo and radiation?"
me:     "I sure did, there is HOPE and an end to this madness I promise"
her:     "I had stage 1 uterine cancer 5 years ago, had a hysterectomy and now its back, but I have never       had to go through chemo, only radiation"
me:      "well, you look beautiful and what a blessing to be alive and share Christmas with your son"

then this is what she said:  "can I tell you a secret?  I think the doctors like to leave a bit of cancer so they have some job security, it always comes back "....... and as she continued on with her story about her sister in law having some type of cancer and the doctors doing the same thing to her, my mind was wondering off as if I was in a tunnel, what the heck is she talking about?  This conversation was not what I thought it was going to be,  I snapped back into reality when she said "are you ok?" I must of looked a little puzzled because she was staring at me as if I was sick or something.  The fact is I could not believe what she was saying, I, in no way feel the way she does, what a scary world to live in, if I thought for one second my doctors "left"  some cancer behind,  it would drive me crazy wondering when its coming back... I do enough worrying about my future, no thank you.  My response to her was short and simple "I have faith in my doctors, I do all that I'm told to do and leave the rest to the Lord"
Then she said back to me "I wish I could have that kind of faith"  "You can, you just need something or someone to believe in, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas, I will see you next Wednesday"  and with that being said, off she went.  I'm learning to listen and communicate with this new volunteer position.  I look forward to next Wednesday, I wonder who will be new, who will ring the bell for their last radiation appointment and who will touch my heart.